It's just a lil crush

**HotandCold** · 11-04-2011 10:21 AM

hi everyone!

i have a lil issue in the love department and would need some advice. I have been single for the past 8 mths, after a nasty relationship with a guy who was fooling around.. Been living life and enjoying singlehood ever since, but now i have a lil crush with my office colleague.. I have just started work for a few mths and i have started growing feelings for coworker. He teases me alot, calls me nicknames and pokes fun. Sometimes he offers me a ride home as he stays close to me. We do text once in a while after office hours, but really can't know for sure if he is really interested. he does drop subtle hints and our common working friends, do occasionally ask me if i ever see any prospects inn him as a future partner.. He calms that he a reserved and shy guy, but I really cannot tell. As for me, yes I am attracted to his personality and his charms but I do not really exhibit hints or signs that I am interested, for fear of rejection.Moreover we are just starting out as friends and I do not want to jeopardize our good working chemistry.. What can I do? Is there any way to find out if he really interested without directly asking? Or is asking the only solution out? I haven't had anyone who has manage to m make heart flutter after my bad last relationship and he is the first for now.

Advises please =)

**KMonte85** · 11-04-2011 10:44 AM

I'm a bit of a stickler about not mixing your romantic and professional life, especially when you're just getting started at your place of employment. Colleagues you get along with are great. The more friends, the merrier! But once it crosses into that romantic zone, that relationship can take on a whole new direction, it will also change the dynamic at the office. It can (and typically will) get complicated, and should things turn sour your whole world will be turned upside down because it will effect pretty much every aspect of your life.

Just knowing that you're starting to get interested in dating again after an 8 month hiatus from a nasty relationship is a huge step for you. Take that as a sign that maybe you are ready to start looking into the dating scene again... but I would caution you to look at work. There are millions of men in this world, find one outside of the office!

**HotandCold** · 11-04-2011 10:44 PM

yeah! i actually do agree with you on certain levels. It is not really good to mud into love affairs with a colleague.. well I guess, I have to learn how to control and suppress the feelings then

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-05-2011 01:57 AM

I agree to on "certain levels" but it depends on a few things in my books.

For instance, if either could change jobs if ever it became a problem to continue the relationship.

If, it is chemistry only on his side, or he "likes" you the inner you for who you are, are you personal in your discussions? Or do you feel on his side, it's all flirting?

**HotandCold** · 11-10-2011 12:30 AM

Hey! hmm surprisingly enough, we had a text conversation over the weekend and he subtly told me that he likes me.. We have been talking since and we are slowly getting to know each other better.. It's mutual understanding that we both have feelings for each other and would like to know more.. Yes we are personal in our discussions but at work we try not to make it too obvious for we do not want to jump into letting people know.. We are both busy with a submission and he has initiated a date next weekend to sit and talk about how to move forward.. In our conversations, he once told me that it might be too soon to say, but he is serious in making this relationship work. For now, I am just going with the flow and allowing myself to get to know him.. My defense barrier is still high up thanks to the previous relationship I had. But I believe that if he is really interested, he will be able to comfortably and careful lower my defense barrier..

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-10-2011 01:12 AM

He can communicate that's a good thing

Find out your Work Policies regarding relationships at work, and how to counter-act that if you need to at any stage.

Good for you and remember, a new person has nothing to do with your past, or what that person was like okay...

**HotandCold** · 11-14-2011 01:58 AM

One question.. If he asks me about my past relationships do I go into details on why it failed or surface answers would do? Read online that when trying to date again, never go into details abt ur relationship with ur ex.. Is it true?