My boyfriend can't cum inside

**honeybunni01** · 11-05-2011 02:08 PM

So I've been with my fiancee for about a year. Our sex life is pretty active but he can never cum inside me and always has to end with him masturbating. Only once was he able to cum inside of me when we watched porn together. In the beginning of our relationship I thought maybe he's not used to me yet. I've asked him a number of times about this problem, he's never had a problem with other girls in he past but finally he said it's your fault I can't cum, I don't find you attractive, you just need to loose some weight. I'm 135 and 5'3, it blows I'd admit but everything else in our relationship is great, we're planning our wedding but I always feel so insecure about my body, I've lost weight just not enough for him to find me attractive yet. I've never had any problems with my past relationships but this is the man i can see the rest of my life with. Is it really my fault I can't satisfy him fully because he thinks I'm fat?

**rosekitten** · 11-05-2011 02:13 PM

Sounds like it's time to leave him. Do you really want to marry someone who's going to speak to you that way? He's being a jerk. People that love you, don't speak to you this way. If I had to guess, I'd guess he's got some insecurities of his own, and instead of being a man and dealing with them, he feels better by making you feel worse. This is not a healthy way to behave in a relationship.

**Hopeless Dork** · 11-06-2011 01:28 AM

Wow...you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with a man that doesn't find you attractive? At just a few pounds over weight? What about if you get pregnant? What happens as you age? Marriage is about a love that endures a womans post pregnancy weight, a man's receeding hairline, illness and any other number of things that make us less than photoshopped porn models.

I'd think long and hard about what he said and how that makes you feel. You deserve to spend your life with a man who's eyes light up when you walk in a room. Were you the size you were when you met???? If you were... then theres a HUGE problem. If you have changed drastically since you've met than maybe its more understandable (still very cruel of him the way he went about things)

But if you've always been the same size, and he says he's unnattracted to your size...why did he date you to begin with and ask you to marry him? When you lose the weight, it could be your hair he doesn't find attractive, your boobs, your nose... is he attempting to mold you into his idea of attractiveness? Ack.

He must be extra special in some other way because you said you see yourself with this man, I'm really curious what there is about him that is redemptive of how cold and callous he related his problem with coming inside of you. I'm not saying you should not marry him, I'm saying you should ask yourself if you are truly in love with this man, or the man you want him to be, hope him to be. Dont be in such a rush to be a bride, be a wife, get the 'marriage badge' on your jacket that you settle with any man that treats you anything less than you feel you deserve to be treated like.

And PS, no I don't think this is your fault. If he is able to be erect and have sex with you , and only has difficulty when it comes to orgasm... its more likely due to him just being use to having orgasms with his own hand, masturbating too much and/or for too long and has trained his penis to a specific stimulation only a hand can provide. This problem would liekly exsist no matter WHO or how hot the woman hes sleeping with is.

As far as it not being a problem with women in his past... thats what HE is saying. You have no real idea if he had problems in the past or not, nor do you have any idea how frequent his masturbation habits were then, etc.