Need advice about boyfriend, badly. :(

**baby1010** · 11-06-2011 10:27 AM

Im 18yrs and hes 26,
We have been together a little over a year now and but have only been living together since June of 2011. He tells me all i do is nag, complain, and im never satisfied but i dont see how i nag or anything. i do my best to make him happy, and i never think of myself.
We went to bed last night arguing but nothing badly, and he said he loved me and i said it back. Started talking, i of course being a girl says i love you, to him again and he responds with i already told you. I can tell we arent ever going to make it long term. but im trying to make something work thats not seeming to work in anyway anymore. He gets mad at me if i cry because my feelings hurt, but i also believe every girl crys in any relationship. today is the 3rd day we havnt had sex. to me its weird. I have a high sex drive so i always seem to want it. Im not sure what to do about this guy. I seem to love him more then he knows but i feel like he says it but doesnt mean it.

**Hopeless Dork** · 11-06-2011 12:01 PM

It sounds like you are aware that you can't be the only one in the relationship that wants it to work out. If he's checked out, you can do everything right... and it will always fall short. So instead of being superwoman, lay back... be nice, be a good girlfriend, be yourself, and if he cant meet you back with the same respect you give him, if he cant give you the type of affection you need... if he is just there, but not really THERE... you might want to open yourself up to the notion this might not be the one for you. You are so young, and have a lot of experience to gain, nothing you are going through is wasted, everyone we are with... we learn.

If you are an emotional woman, you might be best suited with a man that understands your emotional needs and is sensitive to them. Else he will always feel nagged and you always feel neglected... know what I mean?

**baby1010** · 11-06-2011 02:28 PM

Yea i get that. never thought of it that way. He says it annoying that i cry. and all kinds of things. everything is just hard, im probably gonna have to pack up and find some where to go.

**Hopeless Dork** · 11-06-2011 03:36 PM

I'm a highly emotional girl, my boyfriend is the polar opposite. He NEVER reacts emotionally to anything. We are polar opposites in that department but what makes it work is that he respects the fact that I will react emotionally to things he doesn't and comforts me, reassures me when I need it most. Even if he thinks I'm reacting silly over something he doesn't make fun of me, he doesn't tell me how I'm supposed to feel and I don't do that to him either. I couldn't be with a man that told me I was being a baby when I cried, or said things like...look I already told you I love you yesterday what more do you want?

There are a lot of men that don't have it in them to be the reassuring guy, the understanding guy... but there are plenty of men that do. There are lots of strong confident girls that don't cry much if at all, and don't need or want their hand held but for the ones that do... they are really best suited to a man that can be sensitive to their needs.

You don't have to leave him if you love him and think there is hope, but either you have to be willing to accept that he will not be the shoulder you crave.. or he will have to become that.. or you two will have to meet in the middle somewhere for you both to be happy with things.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-09-2011 01:24 AM

HD you are a treasure

Good advice, baby it's not just that you feel insecure though he makes you feel that, he's older you look up to him yes? Yet he puts you down, you were 17 you aren't supposed to know how to act at 26 you are no where near there yet

I see control when a guy tells you, you aren't going to last the distance but let's just go with now...That's like trying to get you to do even more, or else, he's just going with the relationship yet knows it's not him, so why bother? Why hurt you?

I'd go back home and start again sweet.