dating advice needed ladies!

**Lauraloo89** · 11-14-2011 09:39 AM

Im 20 and my boyfriend is 26, and we have been dating for over 2 years. We have a great relationship and love life, and have plans for the future together. He is very loyal and I know how lucky I am to have him, yet lately I cant help feeling attracted to other men, and half wishing I was single so I could 'see what might happen.' Its maybe because I was 17 when we got together, so I havent had much of a single social life.

I have a promising career and his is rather humble and low paid, and he would find it difficult to do better for various reasons. I find myself attracted to more ambitious and exciting men, although I know that's a dangerous way to go!

I really dont want to lose him as I love him dearly and know the grass isnt always greener, but I cant help thinking that i'm missing out somehow. Is it normal to feel like this sometimes? Its on my mind every day. Yet I cant imagine not coming back to him every day.

**kygirl** · 11-14-2011 01:26 PM

Laura:

It's natural at times I think to have that "what if" or "maybe the grass is greener" feeling. It can be caused by a lot of different things. If you are happy with your boyfriend and truly compatible, it could just be that as things get more serious that you are starting to have some nervous jitters. It could also be that maybe you were (and are) still young and feel like you want to experience more life before you settle down, so to speak. What you need to do is really think about what your goals are and whether you are happy. Maybe this is just a lull or maybe that crazy attraction women have to the "bad boys" at times.

Regardless, remember that you can always find some reason to think maybe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I've been to the other side of the fence a lot and I can tell you, that sometimes it is, but most of the time, it really isnt. If you love this man and truly want to be with him, then don't let those thoughts drag you away. If you aren't sure, then maybe you need to do some soul searching about what you really want and need.

Good luck!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-14-2011 01:27 PM

This is tricky Laura, because every 5 years we change as people, grow, develop and as each year goes by, new things occur as well.

The fact youth is on your side, I would suggest to just go with it for now. We can love someone, and we can be so in love with someone.

Compatibility is a must.. Opposites do attract.. Finances should not come into it, unless he is pure lazy, wouldn't be there if anything happened to you financially, other than that, it's also normal for a woman to want and strive for a career and succeed in that way more than a male if she is career orientated.

You won't be missing out on anything over the next few years if you decide that there are more things that just don't click with you two, you will still be young.

In the meantime, instead of "I love him" write down all the pros and cons of you two as a "couple", including romance, maybe you forgot to date each other as you are mentioning that word

Maybe you are "comfortable" with each other and need some spice and fun in your lives again, with each other.

**Lauraloo89** · 11-15-2011 02:50 AM

Thanks girls that helps a lot xxx

**lizzardb63** · 11-15-2011 11:11 AM

I was with my ex for almost 4 years and I felt like that the last year and a 1/2 that we were together. I loved him to death, I REALLY did, but it seemed we didn't want the same things in life so we ended it. It was extremely hard...like cry yourself to sleep for weeks hard. I started to go out with my friends more and I got to experience that "fun and crazy" time. I think I really needed it. I then met my fiance and I think it was a great thing that I got to experience that "what else is out there", but now I am 100% sure of what I want. It is normal to feel like that sometimes if you're having problems wih your relationship or if you're bored with the relationship. Perhaps you both need to start meeting new friends and going on dates and doing more exciting things together. Plan a vacation get away or soemthing fun.

Maybe it will help you shake those feelings!

Or perhaps its time for a break to see how you feel without him.