Thread: Feeling a bit hurt. (and very stupid)

They better hope they don't live in a small town (Perhaps this is why I don't see this much) because people talk. I am from a small town of like 2000 people...you know who's who and what they've done to other people.

Originally Posted by lizzardb63

Are these men like super good looking or something that they can get women to fall for this so easily?

Not at all. They just know exactly how to play the game. They tend to be more on the "outcast" side of things (at least, in my experience). None have been ugly (by my standards, which aren't much lol), but they've not been the type to find a new conquest every night, either.

This is a case of your expectations turning around to bite you, you expected to form some sort of relationship with this guy and you thought he wanted the same.
Just because he wanted you to see his parents, dont mean he wants a relationship.
Having personal conversations together, dont mean he wants a relationship.
All these things happened and you expected somthing to happen i.e a relationship, when in reality he just wanted to nob you.

My expectations shouldn't come around to bite me, since I didn't have them. I didn't "expect" to form some sort of relationship. I thought things were happening, which was a surprise to me. There was no plan, at least not on my end. (Trust me, I'm not that suave) I'm also not very clued in on these so called written rules, since this is the first guy I've developed feelings for. I don't believe you plan for such feelings to happen. You develop them, and sometimes you're wrong.

I also don't believe that a player would brake down in tears over "the mistake he's made" in what he said to me, which is the most recent development. I'm walking away regardless though, because frankly, in spite of my feelings, this dude's a mess, and I don't need it.

Yeah, most 'players' don't take you to meet their parents... that would be a really weak player, as in having to resort to full on deception to get the panties... players generally do that with talk game, not going out engagement ring shopping then playing like its HER fault she misunderstood the deal.

Sounds like he's a push, pull guy. He pushed for the whole meet my family thing... you pulled away from sex, you pushed him with where are we going, he pulled away from relationship talk, you pulled away from him entirely now he's back to pushing to be with you, showing up at your job etc... head games, he needs to grow up.

If he doesn't want a relationship, he should just say. If he is unsure of how he feels and wants to see how it goes before getting serious, he should say that.. if he doesn't... hes not mature enough for a relationship anyway.

Some guys have to control the way it develops or doesn't and they will push for things to be serious, then pull away the minute they are. Be weary of these types as it will run its course on your emotions.

Instead of asking him what he wants, figure out what you want... if its just that you want to get to know him and see where it goes, tell him that and ask him the same. But if you aren't clear on what you want or expect and are on his whim for whether or not things progress...you'll end up settling down with a man you don't even want, simply because he's ready to settle, or you'll wait around on a man hoping he'll settle and he doesnt. So be sure of what you want yourself and don't jump into a relationship just because he wants one, only if you do too.

Originally Posted by littlekitkat

My expectations shouldn't come around to bite me, since I didn't have them. I didn't "expect" to form some sort of relationship. I thought things were happening, which was a surprise to me. There was no plan, at least not on my end. (Trust me, I'm not that suave) I'm also not very clued in on these so called written rules, since this is the first guy I've developed feelings for. I don't believe you plan for such feelings to happen. You develop them, and sometimes you're wrong.

I also don't believe that a player would brake down in tears over "the mistake he's made" in what he said to me, which is the most recent development. I'm walking away regardless though, because frankly, in spite of my feelings, this dude's a mess, and I don't need it.

Sometimes, even if this guy is not a player per se, he would do this kind of thing because he is clueless as to what he wants in life. Hence, he becomes hot - cold and vice versa. You're right, he is a mess. He needs to figure out what he wants in life. If you end up investing more into this kind of person, you'll just be on a roller coaster ride all your life. How do I know? I'm sort of into one and married!