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Thread: Is it too soon?

  1. #1
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    Default Is it too soon?

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    I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a month. He has met my mom and I have met his mom already. He invited me to his nephew's birthday party where I will meet more of his family. Everything is going really great and I feel that I love him. Is it too early to say that to him? I don't want to freak him out, but this relationship is nothing like I have been in before. Any thoughts?

  2. #2
    November 2011 Poster of the Month Array lizzardb63's Avatar
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    This is always a touchy subject, because each guy handles those 3 words differently. Without actually knowing him it's hard to say. How long have you known him prior to dating him? Saying it after 1 month does seem early, but I don't know your history with this guy. SOme guys handle that well with a "I love you too, but was afraid to say it" or some might shy away and get weird. My PERSONAL instinct would tell me to wait a bit, but that's just me. I don't have the guts to just come out at say it that early. It took my ex and I 3 months and it took my fiance and I around 3-4 months. Not to say I didn't WANT to say it, I just bit my lip until it felt like the right situation presented itself. He actually forced it out of me because he asked "DO you love me?"...and I had no other choice but to say yes...and he didn't say it back. SO a few days later, I confronted him about it and he said he was afraid to say it back because he didn't wanna scare me off. Makes no sense huh? Well...sometimes guys minds are WEIRD! lol
    ~Today, any person can fight the battles of one day It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's- yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives people mad. It is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
    Let us therefore, live but one day at a time.~

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    We've only known each other for about 2 weeks before starting to date, so it is all brand new. I think I just wanted to type out what I was thinking to see if it made sense to me. I will wait to tell him, I don't think it will scare him off. I feel like everything in this relationship has been moving at a fast pace. He even met my principal and she called him my husband to be, and that didn't scare him off, so we will see. Thanks for providing your thoughts.

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array kygirl's Avatar
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    I always lean on the side of caution with I love you. I told my boyfriend right at two months when I absolutely could not wait and I was positive he felt the same way... the problem is that you don't know how someone will react. If he is sentimental/romantic, it is more likely that he will appreciate you telling him. If he's a bit more standoffish like many guys can be, then he might get a bit freaked out. I love you just changes things. If I were you, I would just wait a bit longer. If you feel like the perfect time comes along and you can't wait anymore, then tell him. If not, he might just surprise you and say it first
    If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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    It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.--Noel Coward

    Live your life and forget your age. --Norman Vincent Peale

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    Thanks for the advice. Last night we were together and he told me he loves me! It was so great to know that he feels the same way that I do and he said it first.

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