Help me figure this guy out?

**sparklecupcake** · 11-23-2011 09:39 PM

Started dating 4 years ago- our dates consisted of meeting at bars and then making out in car afterwards. I was divorced and he was still legally married but he is now divorced. After 4 dates we went back to his place and did it. wife was out of town.

After that he stopped calling me. I got mad and sent him a nasty email. he wrote back saying he felt bad but he didn't know where we go from here. So I just Let it go and assumed he got back together with his wife. Then 3 months went by and I ran into him again and we hooked up. He told me he missed me and acted all into me but again did not call me after that night.

So now its been 4 years- I run into him every now and then. We have hooked up maybe 6 times in the last 4 years.
He is always alone at bar when I see him. I did see him with a girl once at a concert and they were kissing and he knows I saw him. In fact, the next time I ran into him after that the first thing he said to me was "I've been worried about you" wth??

About 6 months ago I started going out again more frequently and ran into him about 4 times in a month. The first 3 times he said hi, but not much else and just sat in his bar stool alone like he always does. Then one night I met a guy and me and this guy were kissing all night And guess who saw it. He even followed us and stood in distance watching and no one else was around either. Then the next time I ran into him after that night guess who came up to me to talk to me ( I didn't have to go up to him) he actually talked to me more than he has in a long time. We did end up hooking up that night too. He was acting different, more into me or something and when I told him to think about me when he got home that night he said "I think about you all the time" wth??

Last weekend I called him (I was tipsy) and he did text me but I fell asleep. I want to see him but sometimes I think I call him to mess with him. He will never call me, but if I call him he will respond. it's been 4 years and I still think about him, i can't find anyone else to date right now.

Why does he wait for me? so I can't blame him for anything? so it's on my terms? I would like something more but always become the BC! is there any way for this to turn into something else or should I just settle with the fact that I am the BCall? Many times I have told myself I will be strong and not go to his house and not talk to him but I always go back??

diagnose this man for me!

**Beautiful Disaster** · 11-23-2011 10:11 PM

Truthfully, I just don't think this man is into you. Obviously he likes hooking up with you, therefore he feels jealous if he doesn't have someone to hook up with and you do. But you're making ALL the effort at communication. He's yanking your chain girl. Time to move on.

**stella5** · 11-23-2011 11:32 PM

Run sister, run!!

**love yourself** · 11-24-2011 09:56 AM

Yeah, I agree, you need to just walk away. I used to know a guy and we had the same thing. We could always count on each other to satisfy our needs but even though he was alone and not dating, he was just looking for something better. I was a friend to him, there for him when he was going thru alot and all i was was a BC. He cared because he was a friend but I guess he needed more of a challenge? Whatever the case, you deserve better. I know the mystery and chase is fun but you might end up getting hurt in the long run. Good luck!

**caterpillar79** · 11-25-2011 07:09 AM

He might still be on rebound. Whether that is the case or not, he doesn't think of you the way you do. Do not invest your emotions on this one. Let it go.

I'm curious as to what you are looking for in general - are you looking for a long term relationship that may end up in marriage? If that is the case, clearly, this guy is not on the same page. He was just divorced, maybe he just wants a good time...been burned, still nursing the wound.