Thread: Relationship advice.. I need some opinions

Be brief, be blunt, be concise and make sure the "dots" are very close together so he "sees" the line.

We men are not mind readers, into long conversations about all things personal (like you might have with a close girlfriend) and need to dots put very close together in order to see a line.

If your guy doesn't "get it" then I might consider taking a real good look at your relationship.

Yeah, at nearly thirty years of age, he should know or have a pretty good idea what he wants in a relationship.

I completely second Seeker's post to you.

You did say, things are great but moved super fast, maybe he's holding back on that a little bit. Have a talk with him , tell him how you're feeling, and most importantly, ask him how he's feeling. Maybe he's feeling a little rushed.

Each person is different. Just because he's 30, doesn't mean he is ready for a long term committement. I was a committment phobe before I met my husband. Talking about emotions at 4 months would have freaked me out. I was with my husband for 1 year before I knew this may be a life long relationship. And for me that was moving really fast.

I would say be honest and communicate. State where you stand with the relationship, let him know that you are not trying to push him into a corner or asking him to be in the same place emotionally, but just that you want to know where he stands. Ask specifically if making plans for New Years freaks him out. Let him know that if it does, you won't push it. Don't assume things. Maybe talking about New Years freaks him out because he doesn't know what to do and has nothing to do with committment. He may also be the type that is not an initiator when it comes to relationships (I know I'm like that). My husband was the one who talked emotions and I love yous first and I followed. After years together, that has changed, but at the beginning it was difficult. To me, 4 months seems so early in the relationship.

At 30 I think most people have, at the very least, an idea of what they want out of a relationship. Perhaps there are things he's still working out being that it has only been 4 months into the relationship. Holidays are a very sensitive subject, especially if it's a time he typically spends with family. Maybe it takes the relationship to a level that he's not ready for. Again it's only been 4 months, that doesn't mean things won't change. He enjoys his time with you now- enjoy that part for what it is. I don't think anything is missing in that.

He may take awhile to open up about his feelings and that is okay. Progress doesn't happen overnight it's progressive and bond building activities will give him signals that there is a stability there and he will be more willing to share his emotions. Remember no one wants to waste their time on a dead end relationship- it just takes a little time to figure out if that's what it may be.