Thread: too old?

I think what you're thinking is perfectly okay. You have justified reasons for why you think that way. 1. You don't plan on marrying just ANYONE 2. You just havent met the guy who is right for you and 3. you know what you deserve and won't settle. I think these are all good reasons for wanting to wait. Why marry for the sake of marrying if you're not 100% into it? If your friends bring up the topic and ask you about it just say "Someday...when Mr Right comes along!" Most people will understand that comment and it won't sound harsh.

31! That is young. I got married at 30 and I was not ready at all. The only reason I married so young was because my husband was a lot older than me. Remember, your life expectancy is probably 85, so you have a lot of years ahead of you to be worrying about that. Also, people are getting married later in life, especially educated professionals. Do not think at all that you are old.

About finding the right guy, do not settle. Being unhappy with somebody is worst than being alone. At least you will have your freedom. Make sure your life partner is right for you financially, emotionally, socially, and sexually. With that being said, guys don't come in pre-made packages. They tend to need a lot of work and so do relationships. You always hear that the best ones are always taken. I disagree. I think the ones that are taken have been trained by a good partner. There are some basic characteristics you can't change like integrity and honesty, but most other aspect can be developed.

For example, 25 years ago, my husband was the guy who was juggling multiple women, the type you would never settle down with. Now, he is the exact opposite family man. Plans our financies excellently, works hard, only interested in a monogomous relationship, enjoys the weekend mowing the lawn, etc. People change what they want from life and that has to do with timing as well as the person they develop with. I always tell me single girlfriends, don't wait for Mr Right. He doesn't exist. Find somebody who has similar values to you (financial, children, social) and try to work things out. This is not settling for somebody. If you can't work things out, then you move on. Relationships are all about compromise and as long as the other person is willing to communicate and work with you, they don't have to be Mr Right.

I'm not saying you can change a guy. Just that you can work things out. For example, lets say you meet somebody you enjoy hanging out with, but financially he is completely irresponsible. You may never be able to change that, but you could negotiate the relationship where you will completely manage the finances. If he is willing to relinquish all financial comtrol over to you, then that is the compromise.

When you are single, people ask you when you are going to find Mr.Right...
When you find Mr.Right, people ask you when you are going to get married...
When you get married, people ask you when you are going to have kids...

My solution is to first avoid it if you can, and be concise and friendly with your reasons if it does get brought up. I have found that avoiding the subject or things around it help. If I have parent friends, I don't talk to them about children, talking about reading, news, weather doesn't relate to me and my reasons for not having children.