Thread: When To Say.. "I Love You"??

I think if you're questioning it, it's too soon. I have been with guys that a couple months in or even sooner, they did things that made my heart flutter and I instinctively wanted to say "I love you!". But I didn't, and was glad I didn't, because I later realized that it wasn't love I was feeling. I was feeling GOOD because someone was doing nice things for me and making me feel good. But love? True love? No. To me, they are very important words (and obviously to you too!) and are something you can't take back once you've said. If someone I dated for 2 months told me they loved me... I'd be flattered but in my heart I'd not believe it was true because I'd know there was no way this person knew me well enough to make that determination. I'd know that 2 months in, infatuation is still a huge playing factor, and that until initial infatuation passes and you really start to see someones true colors, can you really decide if this someone you truly love?

Well...there's also a difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone. You may very well love this person, but you need to really decide if you're truly IN love with this person. Love may feel different for everyone, but how I knew I loved my fiance is because I was more vulnerable to him than anyone else in my life, and I was most comfortable with him. I was in love before, with an ex boyfriend, and would have done anything for him, but it was more of a "i love you...but not IN love with you" and it's hard to determine the difference between the two.

Originally Posted by Beautiful Disaster

I think if you're questioning it, it's too soon.

That's something I've thought about too.

A friend of mine was seeing this guy for about 4 months now, and last week he told her he loved her. She didn't say it back because she said she wasn't sure if she actually loved him yet.
Obviously he probably felt a bit awkward after saying it and getting no reply from her. But she said she spent the next week or so asking herself if she does love him?

So a week later when they met, she told him that she does love him, and he went cold on her and just said "Me too". She knew he was acting differently and being off with her.

Now it's about two weeks later and he hasn't phoned here, texted or answered her calls, she doesn't know what went wrong or why this has happened?

What happened between them too, has kind of put me off saying it, and has me wondering when to say it. Maybe they said it too soon, and now everything is changed.

I'm thinking now, it is too soon to say it, because as you said, it's one of those things that can't be taken back after it's said. It's not something I say lightly.

I love spending time with him, and being with him, and I do get excited knowing I'm going to be seeing him. The little habit's he's got, I find charming.
It could still be in the lust stages, so I guess time will tell.

Time will definitely tell my friend. There's no need to try to rush love...it won't let you.

Well, you can always, just say ( if he brings you fowers or a gift or just being sweet to you )
" Thank you ( insert your pet name for him ), You keep this up I could find my self falling in Love with you!!"

Give him a kiss and whisper in his ear, "I'm already half way there as it is ".
He will respond in some way, and it will give you more of a Clue as to how he is feeling about you. He may say " Me Too " or Say he loves you ( first ) or may say nothing and change the subject .

Personally the " I love you " words, I find I can say to allot of people, but The I'm In Love with you words ( at least the First time ) I have always let him say First ..

Your question made me reflect on myself when my husband and I were dating not a long time ago. I kept my words to myself for a while. He was the first one to tell me the words and then I replied with a sure and honest answer that I do love him. I think I didn't find it hard because he timed it so well that when he told me those words, I was definite with my feelings for him. Then we broke up and stayed friends, and that's when I realized I really do love him more even beyond.... the kind of love that doesn't expect anything in return....and so the rest is history. Now, he keeps proving his love and devotion everyday. (And I'm becoming more selfish each time - ego boost - that's bad. LOL...)

While it is not universally accepted nowadays, it is better to give it some more time to just be. Let him feel the love you have for him by being a good listener, a good and supportive companion, appreciative of everything he does, and forgiving if he messes up. You don't have to verbalize it just yet. I think if you let him take the lead (saying " I love you" included), he will not feel pressured. That way, you can see him for his real colors as time goes by. That way, you can also gauge for yourself for sure if you are just feeling the lust or really love him for who he is.

I think I'd like if he says it first.

But I like the idea of showing him how I love him, rather than verbalizing, because after all, that's what he done when he turned up with the flower's. What you've said about being a good listener, and supportive companion and appreciative. That's what he's been doing all this time. He works longs hours now, 7days a week, and he said that the best thing at the end of his day is that he gets to find out how my day went, he'll listen to how my day went and ask how I'm feeling, ask if I got any sleep the night before? (sleep problem) And he always says, don't worry we'll get this problem sorted, have to keep you happy.

Someone told me before that love is "care". caring for that person, showing them that you care, and doing little things to show them you care. Love is all about caring.

So looking at it now, it seems to been good and we're on the right road. Why rush a good thing? It'll happen when the time is right if it's meant to be.