Was this just a one night stand?

**karenxca** · 01-02-2012 06:55 PM

A little over a year ago I met a guy through one of my friends, we slept together and then for the next couple of months we hung out & hooked up. He didn't treat me very well, he took a lot of drugs, and just wasn't that great of a guy. At the time I didn't feel very good about myself, I was insecure and I went along with it. Eventually we just stopped calling each other, seeing each other, or running into each other.

I met another guy that became my boyfriend who at first treated me like a princess then it all went downhill. He was my first real relationship. It only lasted about 8 months but it completely changed me. I saw how I deserved to be treated and it made me so much stronger. Anyway.

On new years eve I ran into the first guy. Even though it was probably stupid of me, we slept together. But it was different. Afterwards I slept over at his house, we talked and cuddled. He kept telling me how he had no idea of was this sweet of a girl, how right this feels, and how he wished I was here every night to rub his tummy. He even told me how sorry he was for being so mean to me and it seemed so sincere. The next morning I woke up at 8am and my first reaction was just to leave. I was still in his sweatpants because it was waaaay too cold to just keep on my dress. His car keys were in his sweats. So I texted him, told him I had his keys. I drove back out to his house later to give him them. I only stayed for a few minutes to smoke a cigarette with him, it was kind of awkward, for the first couple of minutes he acted cute with me then he stopped. On the way home I got lost and called him for directions and on the phone he kept calling me 'baby' and all this stuff, whatever. Later that night he texted me 'karen' and I said 'yeah?' but then he never answered me and that's the last time we've talked.

I feel like I have all these feelings for him this time. We're both so different and he just made me feel so good. Every time I get a text I hope that it's him! I keep thinking about him and I just don't know what to do. As much as I'd like to text him and tell him how I feel I know I never could. I just don't know whats going on or if this was any different for him. I just wanted advice or opinions on the situation. Just anything! I just feel so... dumb and lost.

**caterpillar79** · 01-02-2012 10:54 PM

You deserve better, dear. He takes drugs (addictive behavior), he is inconsistent and all red flags....move on. I think you must focus on yourself and build up your self-worth enough to not fall into these types of guys. (That's just my .20 cents since you asked).

**Beautiful Disaster** · 01-03-2012 08:56 AM

Ditto what cat said. In addition, look within yourself to see the reason for these feelings. By nature, we all want to be wanted. And most of us gals, if we're not careful, have the fantasy of being "the girl" that the bad boy settles down for. In reality, we're never that girl, without years of struggle, pain, etc. This guy was the "bad boy" you couldn't tame, treated you badly, did drugs, etc. Running into him again, and having him treat you differently made you feel good. It took away the feelings of rejection you felt with him the first time. And it roped you in. Your own feelings of what you WANT it to be are overshadowing your good sense of what is reality. And reality is, this guy is not for you. He's nowhere near good enough for you. You know that.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-03-2012 01:14 PM

I don't think he has changed at all hon...When he text messaged you, "karen" and then never replied, I'm betting that he was on drugs and fell asleep.

He's still living his his world.

I despise personally someone calling me baby, on the inset, off course it makes you feel you are "someones" honey and being wanted is what we all want, as BD stated and Cat... That's what you are feeling.

Remember what you just told us about the second boyfriend... You realised what you deserved, keep thinking like that and don't every go backwards.

**orchiddreams** · 01-15-2012 03:00 PM

I don't think on and off relationships work, at least not for me. I think you just had rebound sex and (though it's not clear from your post whether you discussed your previous relationship with him) that he preyed on your vulnerability. I would cut your losses- it didn't work out the first time and I don't think people change drastically in such short a time frame.

You are deserving of a loving relationship, it doesn't seem like this guy can give you that based on his past behavior.