As you are not in a relationship with him, not certain you even want to date him exclusively, then cut to the chase and tell him that you can or cannot go out with him on the specific date. You are under NO obligation to change your plans, lifestyle and ambitions and neither is he. What is the right time for meeting friends? Is it after the second date, third date, twentieth? Does it really matter? The worst that could happen is you meet some interesting or not so interesting friends of his. Do you think somehow that he is looking to his friends to find acceptance of you before he will? You don't have to introduce him to any of your friends - ever if you wish not to. I guess I just don't see what all the big fuss is about.
I dunno, it really sounds like he thinks he's already in a relationship with you - or at least thinks that he has a claim on you that has boundaries similar to those of a relationship.
Listen to that gut. If you have to renew your subscription to the dating website to continue trying to find somebody whose values match yours more closely, then so be it ... the end of a subscription doesn't directly mean that you should settle!
made one wish for a permanent kiss that would echo through these bones like arsenic
Women are female (adj,) but not females (n.) We aren't dogs.
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Actually Little, I belong to two dating websites. One paid and one free. The paid one is expiring in a few weeks. I may rejoin eventually but right now I think I will just let it expire. I have been noticing that a lot of the guys on the paid one is on the free one also, so I figured I will just keep the free one for now.
Both of my accounts are active right now so new guys can contact me. I did that today. I'm not notifying him of this but if he figures it out, so be it. Yes, I feel like he is trying to control me and I don't like it. I feel like I'm being pressured. I'll go on a second date with him but I'm not being exclusive with him. At least not yet.
Never regret something that once made you smile.
This guy is officially history. I went on the second date last night and I decide to just focus on interests. And we really don't have much in common, only than we can easily joke around. Obviously that is not enough. But the bigger issue at hand. I went back on to the dating website and I was right, he saw it. I know because this is part of the email he sent me this morning. And I was right that he wanted me to be exclusive with him. I didn't get that wrong on what he said on that first date. He may have issues on cheating but that is not my problem. If I want to date another guy after only one date with him, I can and will. I email him back, telling him sorry I was no longer interested.
part of his email. All I took out was the very beginning and end.
Thanks again for going out last night. I hope you had a good time.
I wanted to talk to you about how you were feeling or what you thought about me, but, never felt the right time last night. I noticed on Thursday that you had made your profile public again, and I kind of looked at that like you may not be to interested, or that you are still looking for someone else, which there is nothing wrong with, I am not saying anything negative, just an observation. You can correct me if I am wrong. I also have not really got any feeling off you, or impression as to if you were interested or not. I know it has only been 2 dates, but, I don't want to waste either persons time if your not feeling anything. I hope that doesn't seem to forward, or out of line, I have told you I am new to this. I have also told you that I am not the type to date more than one person at a time, and I am not a jealous person, but, I do ask the person I date to basically not see other people while we are together. I do not cheat on girls, I was unfortunate enough to have been in a relationship, and was cheated on and then dumped, and I did not like it at all, so, I have strong feelings about that. Like I said I have never cheated, and do not cheat. Anyway, that is off the point. I was basically asking if you were interested or not, because I am kind of thinking you are not. And, again, it is OK, I just didn't want to "not" ask, and assume based on how I perceive things
Never regret something that once made you smile.
Scary baggage run, run, run,
Good for you Amber, you used your intuition, followed the right path on discussing, interests, morals, core values, goals and there was nothing, therefore, how can there be chemistry? Other than staring right at Brad Pitt, or Johnny Depp or Ashton, chemistry builds, from like equals like, in my opinion.
This guy is a sore looser and I bet he edited over and over before sending, yet what he sent still said "control" and still said " baggage" ...
Yes, he's new at it and he better get his shirt together or that shirt will never come of his back, by any other persons hands other than his own: )
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
Next. Don't doubt yourself on this even a little bit. Time to move on and be ready for someone else who is hopefully better.
I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
...
Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?
Patrick Henry
I read his email as polite, honest and respectful.
He is " Asking " you if you are interested, he is perceiving that you are not interested and rather than just assume ( in case you had an off day or were tried or didn't like the place of the date ) he voiced his feeling of you not seeming to be interested in other future dates.
He was honest and upfront in his beliefs/ values ( for him ) that he feels he can only Date one person at a time and also ( AGAIN ) Asks ( Not Tells ) the same from whom he is dating.
It is possible that he was really " Into You " maybe your looks or Personality and at least wanted to know if he would be wasting Your Time and his in Perusing getting to know you better.
He didn't jump to conclusions, he said not one Negative word about or to you. He admitted he was new to the online stuff, was sensitive and admitted he'd had a bad relationship before, his words showed he wanted to avoid such a relationship like the bad one, again.
I would Thank him for the Dates and be as honest with him as he was with you . Also I would be as Polite and Respectful as he was with you. You can find a way, to say that things just didn't Click and you are not ready to be exclusive at this time.
Maybe even just say that you are into meeting new people and experiencing new things and not in a " looking for Husband " mode, but should Mr Right come along, that would be a Plus.
Another way to look at his asking to be "Exclusive when Dating " is to simply Reverse the situation. Say you found a Guy you were Attracted to and hoped to maybe get to know him better. Ask Yourself, wouldn't you feel more comfortable if he only Dated one Lady at a time ? Not date you one night & someone else the next and 2-3 others in the next week ?
To me, it would be less stress on me, not to wonder if he was comparing me to the Date he had last night or even last week . I would feel much more secure if I knew he was trying to get to know me because he was Interested in me, Not just fitting me in between other gals.
If there were such a Guy , that I was interested in dating, I would most likely.. Casually ask if he was seeing others. If he said Yes, I would smile and tell him to give me a Call if and when, he was done Shopping.. lol
Can you suggest alternate times/days (same as above)? Why don't you suggest a place you like, a place that is quiet, and go from there? If he is interested in seeing you, he won't mind a change of plans and he should be interested in finding out what you like. Try to be a little more positive and assertive. There may be a lot of jerks out there, but it does not hurt to give more chances to those who maybe are not. Also, the phone can be a good way to keep in touch and explain situations. Talk to him more on the phone. If he is interested he'll like that. Good luck
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