Thread: HELP!

I would say at first you should keep the conversation about her and not you, that way she knows that you are genuinely interested in getting to know her better. Ask her things like what sort of classes shes taking, what she finds interesting, what she wants to do as a career, what she is passionate about, what she does for fun, places she would like to go, things she would like to try, maybe ask if she has any siblings or pets or something and maybe use that to ask about her family if you want, etc. But of course when she asks you questions answer them completely but do not take too long to answer them. You want to keep her interested too and not make her anxious with a long story. But definitely try to find things that you two have in common, you can talk about pet peeves, sports, music, tv shows, movies, anything you want. Leave out anything about past relationships so she doesn't feel awkward. And you don't have to make it obvious that this is a date, she will probably get the hint if you say you had a great time talking with her ask her to do it again sometime. And personally I think it's okay if she views you as a friend first, my boyfriend and I were friends for a year before we started dating, so by the time we started dating we already knew we got along well and that we liked each other a lot, and now we have this amazing relationship and plan to get married and everything. He's definitely my best friend and we tell each other everything. And when we first became friends I definitely viewed him as just a friend, mostly because I thought he was way out of my league, why would such a great looking jock go for an okay nerd like me right? Well, turns out we are basically like the exact same person and he is absolutely perfect for me

I am a female and for me personally back in my dating days that guys that were able to get my attention were the ones that I felt like I "clicked" with. You know when you are out with someone and there is a lot of silence and you kind of struggle for things to say or you ask a question and only get a very brief response leaving no room for a conversation to start. I realize that "clicking" with someone can't be forced it's just there or it's not but I always liked the guys with the more outgoing personality that had a sense of humor. I know one thing for me that was a huge turn off was a guy that kissed my a$$. It's one thing to be nice and polite but there is a big difference between a guy that has manners and a guy that will do anything you want him to. If you have a different opinion on something don't agree thinking that will make her like you more. Aside from the "click" I also liked guys that had a sense of humor, liked practical jokes and if he had a different view or opinion about something he let me know his opinion even if it was different than mine.

As far as changing who you are so some girl will be attracted to you.... I don't care how much of a crush you have on this girl or any other girl in the future... don't ever change who you are for someone else because if you are looking to make the relationship long term your true YOU will eventually come out and by that time feelings are involved. I know you didn't want to hear "BE YOURSELF" but to be honest, if she doesn't like you for who you are, pretending to be someone else isn't something you want to build a happy, healthy and loving relationship on.

Originally Posted by JadedQueen

I am a female and for me personally back in my dating days that guys that were able to get my attention were the ones that I felt like I "clicked" with. You know when you are out with someone and there is a lot of silence and you kind of struggle for things to say or you ask a question and only get a very brief response leaving no room for a conversation to start. I realize that "clicking" with someone can't be forced it's just there or it's not but I always liked the guys with the more outgoing personality that had a sense of humor. I know one thing for me that was a huge turn off was a guy that kissed my a$$. It's one thing to be nice and polite but there is a big difference between a guy that has manners and a guy that will do anything you want him to. If you have a different opinion on something don't agree thinking that will make her like you more. Aside from the "click" I also liked guys that had a sense of humor, liked practical jokes and if he had a different view or opinion about something he let me know his opinion even if it was different than mine.

As far as changing who you are so some girl will be attracted to you.... I don't care how much of a crush you have on this girl or any other girl in the future... don't ever change who you are for someone else because if you are looking to make the relationship long term your true YOU will eventually come out and by that time feelings are involved. I know you didn't want to hear "BE YOURSELF" but to be honest, if she doesn't like you for who you are, pretending to be someone else isn't something you want to build a happy, healthy and loving relationship on.

Originally Posted by Butterflyy

I would say at first you should keep the conversation about her and not you, that way she knows that you are genuinely interested in getting to know her better. Ask her things like what sort of classes shes taking, what she finds interesting, what she wants to do as a career, what she is passionate about, what she does for fun, places she would like to go, things she would like to try, maybe ask if she has any siblings or pets or something and maybe use that to ask about her family if you want, etc. But of course when she asks you questions answer them completely but do not take too long to answer them. You want to keep her interested too and not make her anxious with a long story. But definitely try to find things that you two have in common, you can talk about pet peeves, sports, music, tv shows, movies, anything you want. Leave out anything about past relationships so she doesn't feel awkward. And you don't have to make it obvious that this is a date, she will probably get the hint if you say you had a great time talking with her ask her to do it again sometime. And personally I think it's okay if she views you as a friend first, my boyfriend and I were friends for a year before we started dating, so by the time we started dating we already knew we got along well and that we liked each other a lot, and now we have this amazing relationship and plan to get married and everything. He's definitely my best friend and we tell each other everything. And when we first became friends I definitely viewed him as just a friend, mostly because I thought he was way out of my league, why would such a great looking jock go for an okay nerd like me right? Well, turns out we are basically like the exact same person and he is absolutely perfect for me

Thanks a lot for the help everyone. I'll let you know how it goes.

1. Dress Nice
2. Smell good
3. Don't talk about any ex's
4. Don't talk negative about anyone (as if you're gossiping)

Most of all, be yourself though. I know you don't like that answer, but it's true. Conversation should be light and fun. If there are ever any awkward silences, just ask her questions about herself, "What kind of music do you enjoy" you can also go off that of "What concerts have you been to?"...etc.