Thread: Cheated On my Boyfriend.

I'm gonna give you some harsh advice that you're gonna have to deal with.

I was once dating this guy Darrell...Lied continuously and treated me like ****. He finally made a turn around and I thought him and I would be happy together, but then he tells me he has a girl on the side along with some other stuff he felt the need to confess... This was on Memorial Day this year. Since then, he's been trying to get me back. "Oh baby... I love you so much. I haven't changed completely, but I'll do it for you. Please come back." I refuse to go back to him. If he truly loved me like he said he wouldn't have cheated. And that's how I feel about the matter.

My mother always says this to me and I'll type it word for word: "Men cheat... a lot. There seems to be no good men out there because of this...but there is. The good ones get into dedicated relationships with women. Then, they get cheated on by someone who doesn't deserve them. The men hide out and never try dating again. It's a horrible cycle."

I know this will sound so bad and you're probably a nice person, but things like this just bother me. Yes, it would be smart for me to not comment at all if this hits a nerve with me, but this has to be said. You are holding on to someone who doesn't need you. He does not need someone to be with him who gonna cheat on him (because she was drunk) and hide it from him. If you didn't wanna lose him, if you loved him, if you felt that he was the man you were to married... He would have been at that party with you, side-by-side. You would be there loving him and whispering sweets into his ear, but no.. it was different. Maybe he couldn't have gone to the party with you. You know what you do then? Don't drink. If you feel the need to drink, know your limit.

He doesn't need that. Tell him. He deserves that much. It's a horrible thing to hide something from the person you claim to love so much.

Best of luck.

I feel for you girl, I know how hard it is to do something behind your lovers back and than have to get the nerve to admit it to them. I don't think cheating is right at all, my baby daddy cheated on me and to make myself feel a little better about the situation I cheated on him to. I didn't enjoy it I honestly know it didn't make me feel much different. So my advice to you is that if you truly love this man, don't cheat on him again! I know you feel guilty I can hear it in your post, but honestly some things are really best unsaid. Its up to you though if you feel so guilty that you think he should know tell him! If you love him and know that you won't do it again, just keep it to yourself. He already knows about you kissing the other guy and Im sure that hurt him enough, and once you tell a man that you slept with someone else it will never be the same again. If he stays he will always remind you of what you did, and it will truly cause a lot of problems in your relationship. Men aren't as forgiving as women, we are stronger if a man we love cheats on us and we stay, we can get by better than they can. I can't really explain but talking from personal experience I suggest you don't tell him anything else. Thats just my opinion, and I have my own reasons why I feel that way.

If you're so unsure about keeping it from him maybe that's not something you should do.

Closets for skeletons?! That's for stuff you do before you start dating someone. If you don't what them to know you were a prostitutem or a drug dealer, or you killed someone in your past. Like that. But while you're dating them it's all free territory.

You want to get married to this guy? Well, you better get used to telling him everything. When you get married to someone you become one with them. You share thoughts, ideas, love, your future with them and you don't leave them out on anything. Now, if you think you get go through a marriage keeping secrets like you're going now, it won't last for long. Srsly.

If you do decide to tell him (and I hope you do) write it down first. Write out everything, what you did, how you feel about, your apology, how you're willing to make it work. Then, take him aside and read it to him.

Let that stew for a while.

miserable mom - It's better for her to not say anything? It's better for her to hide the fact that she was unfaithful from him? All because she loves him and want to keep him? That would be completely seflish on her part.

Once she tells him it won't ever be the same... It would have been the same if she hadn't done it. Maybe this is what she needs; a new outlook on life. If I were in this situation, I'd tell him. He's my boyfriend and he has the right to know.

There is always a chance, no matter how small, of him finding out what happened from another person. How is he gonna feel knowing someone had the audacity to tell him something that his girlfriend couldn't even tell him. Think about him for a second.

The way I see it is she made a mistake and is very sorry for it, I don't think this is something that should be held againts her for the rest of her life! People make mistakes and when you put yourself in a situation that you know is going to hurt someone else, well things are better left unsaid. As far as i see it, he already knows you cheated, theres no need to add more fuel to the fire.

Originally Posted by dgirl07

Miserable Mom,

i so appreciate hearing this. i know that you aren't condoning what i did. but your right i do truly feel bad about this. ive never done anything like this before and i havent drank or even gone out without him by side since the incident. i was just hoping to hear what you told me. that its ok to leave it unsaid. i realize i made a mistake that night. and i know that mistake left me with a feeling unlike any other ive ever felt. i felt miserable. and i know that feeling so bad and that fact that i love him will keep me from ever straying from him again.

thanks.

Personally, I don't agree with your choice. It seems as though you didn't come for advice, but to hear what you wanted to hear. Now, that someone agrees with you you'll go do whatever.

Sometimes the love in one's heart is not enough to keep them from being themself.

Originally Posted by miserable mom

The way I see it is she made a mistake and is very sorry for it, I don't think this is something that should be held againts her for the rest of her life! People make mistakes and when you put yourself in a situation that you know is going to hurt someone else, well things are better left unsaid. As far as i see it, he already knows you cheated, theres no need to add more fuel to the fire.

Well, if she was gonna tell him that she kissed the guy she should have come with it and say she slept with him, too. It makes no sense to put on one shoe and leave the other shoe home.

Ravsoma,

Have you ever been in this type of situation? what is selfish is her hurting him even more! He knows she cheated he doesn't need to know details, would you want to hear details of your boyfriend screwing someone else? I don't think so! That is something that stays in your head for whole time your with someone. Personally when my kids dad cheated on me I was pregnant with my son, and that was the worst information I have ever heard in my life!! I still can't forget what he did with that girl! Besides she was only back with him for two months, in two months your still not sure where the relationship is going to end up at. You have your own opinions but when you fall into this same situation than maybe youll understand better. Your only sixteen from what I have read in other posts! You haven't experienced a whole lot yet, Im young two but for me being my age I have been through so much **** in the relationship I was in. She did come on here for advice and I presented mine as you did yours.