i need advice regarding my boyfriend

twisted2187 · 08-13-2007, 01:55 PM

okay so heres the story....

over 2 years ago i started dating alex...things were great until a year into the relationship he decided to dump me. no real reason... he said he was just confused. well i missed him terribly and so about a month later he started calling me again and wanted me back, he said he knew he had made a mistake and would never do it again. so i took him back and it was the best summer of my life (that was last summer) then his parents forced him to go to school in oklahoma (we both lived in tennessee) well we were determined to make the relationship work long distance. about a month after he left he started to not answer my phone calls, finally after about 3 days of not hearing from him he called me in the middle of the night and said he didnt want to be in a relationship so that was that. i screamed and cried and hung up the phone. i vowed never to talk to him again. i was ashamed for taking him back and him doing the same thing to me again. well...i started hanging out with a guy from work named cameron about a month later..we then started dating he was a nice guy but things never felt quite right...i started realizing how much i missed alex...then when he was home for christmas break mutual friends started telling me that he was asking about me and wanted them to tell me marry christmas. so i decided for his birthday in january i'd send him an innocent b-day card. well once he got it he called me. i ignored his call until about a week later i was driving home and decided to call him...we talked for about 5 hours. that was when i knew i had to end it with cameron..my heart was with alex. so the very next day we ended the relationship..cameron was feeling like things werent right either. well...about 2 months passed and i didnt hear anything from alex...so during those 2 months cameron and i became good friends and occasionally had casual sex which i know now was very ******...it complicated things alot. i started thinking i had feelings for him again and he felt the same way. but he was talking to another girl too so we didnt do anything else about it. well then alex called me again and we started talking on the phone every night, we were basically back together...then he came back for spring break and we hung out, it felt weird though. things didnt feel like they had before. plus i was still kinda liking cameron so i told alex i was confused about some stuff and just wanted to be friends. he left to go back to school and i started hanging out with cameron again...just as friends. he was starting to get serious about the girl he was talking to. but then one ****** night we had sex for the last time. (i was still talking to alex but we werent together) well cameron started dating that girl but we still hung out alot. we became like best friends but it was more than that, we both still had feelings for each other to an extent. but cameron was with her and i was still talking to alex...so eventually alex and i got back together...that was a couple weeks before summer break. this is where the story goes haywire...the day alex got into town from oklahoma i out of the blue dumped him. i was still confused about the whole cameron situation. but alex wouldnt give up..he left me a note under my door saying how badly he wanted to be with me...and i really did want to be with him too but i was too confused to know exactly what i should do. so we hung out a couple times and then one night we decided to get back together we had sex that night but the whole time we were having sex i was thinking about cameron...so once again not thinking i said "i cant do this..we cant be together"..and that was it. he left. he called me crying and heartbroken for days afterwards...i felt horrible i cried and cried and cried...i knew i had made a mistake and that i was being so heartless..one night alex called me drunk and threatening to commit suicide so i rushed to his side and tried to convice him that suicide wasnt the answer...he was still begging for me back and it hurt like to say no but i honestly didnt know what was going on in my head. well...about a week later alex and i hung out again this time i was thinking about how bad i ****ed up by dumping him numerous times and hurting him so bad. i didnt want him to hurt. i then realized i wanted to be with him...so he actually took me back believe it or not. well...cameron was still in the picture due to my working with him still and we were still semi friends. so one night after me and alex had been together for about 2 weeks i went over to camerons (this was my biggest mistake) we ended up making out...i am the one who stopped it from going any further. i felt so guilty..i didnt want to hide it from alex but i didnt want to hurt him anymore either. so i didnt tell him...this summer has been the best. our relationship has gotten better than ever..we went on vacation together and he decided to go to school here...we both love each other alot...tt just took both of us time to figure that out. well...yesterday alex and i were talking about all the cameron **** and then he point blank asked me if we had done anything else he didnt know about...so i told we made out. alex went crazy...he screamed at me for an hour and all i could do was cry. i feel so bad for hurting him. he hasnt tried calling me or anything since i told him. (oh and by the way after cameron and i made out i stopped my friendship with him)...i know this relationship sounds dramatic and screwed up but i really love alex...i am no longer confused...he is the person i want to marry. but i feel like i could have just lost him again. what should i do??? ive left him voice mails and wrote him emails telling him how sorry i am...but i am getting nothing in return. can someone help me? i feel like i am going crazy just waiting to see what happends...what should i do?!?!

steph* · 08-13-2007, 02:57 PM

hi twisted! well i read about your situation and wow!!!! I can tell you really love Alex and i think it was good that you told him about you making out with Cameron. he is really hurt and i really suggest you give him time because he is hurt. i know you have tried everything you can but if the love is strong you guys will be together, by the way did you tell him that you're not friends with Cameron? i suggest you try talking to him face to face if he doesn't return your calls and stuff like that because you cant just go on not knowing what he is thinking about doing so don't worry if he loves you he will forgive you. the way I see it you kissing Cameron made you really realize how much you do love this guy and hey things happen for a reason so don't worry i know Alex is going to call you eventually because he HAS TO tell you about what he is planning to do with the relationship just hang in there!

twisted2187 · 08-13-2007, 04:03 PM

Thanks Steph...I am trying to give him time and space but in the mean time i am going crazy wondering exactly whats gonna happen and whether or not he'll stay with me.

steph* · 08-13-2007, 04:29 PM

i know what you mean but just be strong and have faith that your love will conquer anything. think positive dont stress out! i hate it when things like this happen i wish i was there to help you out more because i remember when i was going through rough times no one was there for me i just had to let things come there way and let things be! and basically thats what you have to do!

08-13-2007, 01:55 PM	#1
twisted2187 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2	i need advice regarding my boyfriend okay so heres the story.... over 2 years ago i started dating alex...things were great until a year into the relationship he decided to dump me. no real reason... he said he was just confused. well i missed him terribly and so about a month later he started calling me again and wanted me back, he said he knew he had made a mistake and would never do it again. so i took him back and it was the best summer of my life (that was last summer) then his parents forced him to go to school in oklahoma (we both lived in tennessee) well we were determined to make the relationship work long distance. about a month after he left he started to not answer my phone calls, finally after about 3 days of not hearing from him he called me in the middle of the night and said he didnt want to be in a relationship so that was that. i screamed and cried and hung up the phone. i vowed never to talk to him again. i was ashamed for taking him back and him doing the same thing to me again. well...i started hanging out with a guy from work named cameron about a month later..we then started dating he was a nice guy but things never felt quite right...i started realizing how much i missed alex...then when he was home for christmas break mutual friends started telling me that he was asking about me and wanted them to tell me marry christmas. so i decided for his birthday in january i'd send him an innocent b-day card. well once he got it he called me. i ignored his call until about a week later i was driving home and decided to call him...we talked for about 5 hours. that was when i knew i had to end it with cameron..my heart was with alex. so the very next day we ended the relationship..cameron was feeling like things werent right either. well...about 2 months passed and i didnt hear anything from alex...so during those 2 months cameron and i became good friends and occasionally had casual sex which i know now was very ****...it complicated things alot. i started thinking i had feelings for him again and he felt the same way. but he was talking to another girl too so we didnt do anything else about it. well then alex called me again and we started talking on the phone every night, we were basically back together...then he came back for spring break and we hung out, it felt weird though. things didnt feel like they had before. plus i was still kinda liking cameron so i told alex i was confused about some stuff and just wanted to be friends. he left to go back to school and i started hanging out with cameron again...just as friends. he was starting to get serious about the girl he was talking to. but then one ** night we had sex for the last time. (i was still talking to alex but we werent together) well cameron started dating that girl but we still hung out alot. we became like best friends but it was more than that, we both still had feelings for each other to an extent. but cameron was with her and i was still talking to alex...so eventually alex and i got back together...that was a couple weeks before summer break. this is where the story goes haywire...the day alex got into town from oklahoma i out of the blue dumped him. i was still confused about the whole cameron situation. but alex wouldnt give up..he left me a note under my door saying how badly he wanted to be with me...and i really did want to be with him too but i was too confused to know exactly what i should do. so we hung out a couple times and then one night we decided to get back together we had sex that night but the whole time we were having sex i was thinking about cameron...so once again not thinking i said "i cant do this..we cant be together"..and that was it. he left. he called me crying and heartbroken for days afterwards...i felt horrible i cried and cried and cried...i knew i had made a mistake and that i was being so heartless..one night alex called me drunk and threatening to commit suicide so i rushed to his side and tried to convice him that suicide wasnt the answer...he was still begging for me back and it hurt like to say no but i honestly didnt know what was going on in my head. well...about a week later alex and i hung out again this time i was thinking about how bad i ed up by dumping him numerous times and hurting him so bad. i didnt want him to hurt. i then realized i wanted to be with him...so he actually took me back believe it or not. well...cameron was still in the picture due to my working with him still and we were still semi friends. so one night after me and alex had been together for about 2 weeks i went over to camerons (this was my biggest mistake) we ended up making out...i am the one who stopped it from going any further. i felt so guilty..i didnt want to hide it from alex but i didnt want to hurt him anymore either. so i didnt tell him...this summer has been the best. our relationship has gotten better than ever..we went on vacation together and he decided to go to school here...we both love each other alot...tt just took both of us time to figure that out. well...yesterday alex and i were talking about all the cameron ** and then he point blank asked me if we had done anything else he didnt know about...so i told we made out. alex went crazy...he screamed at me for an hour and all i could do was cry. i feel so bad for hurting him. he hasnt tried calling me or anything since i told him. (oh and by the way after cameron and i made out i stopped my friendship with him)...i know this relationship sounds dramatic and screwed up but i really love alex...i am no longer confused...he is the person i want to marry. but i feel like i could have just lost him again. what should i do??? ive left him voice mails and wrote him emails telling him how sorry i am...but i am getting nothing in return. can someone help me? i feel like i am going crazy just waiting to see what happends...what should i do?!?!

08-13-2007, 02:57 PM	#2
steph* VIP Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 71	hi twisted! well i read about your situation and wow!!!! I can tell you really love Alex and i think it was good that you told him about you making out with Cameron. he is really hurt and i really suggest you give him time because he is hurt. i know you have tried everything you can but if the love is strong you guys will be together, by the way did you tell him that you're not friends with Cameron? i suggest you try talking to him face to face if he doesn't return your calls and stuff like that because you cant just go on not knowing what he is thinking about doing so don't worry if he loves you he will forgive you. the way I see it you kissing Cameron made you really realize how much you do love this guy and hey things happen for a reason so don't worry i know Alex is going to call you eventually because he HAS TO tell you about what he is planning to do with the relationship just hang in there! __________________ Stephanie

08-13-2007, 04:29 PM	#4
steph* VIP Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 71	i know what you mean but just be strong and have faith that your love will conquer anything. think positive dont stress out! i hate it when things like this happen i wish i was there to help you out more because i remember when i was going through rough times no one was there for me i just had to let things come there way and let things be! and basically thats what you have to do! __________________ Stephanie

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08-13-2007, 04:03 PM	#3
twisted2187 Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 2	Thanks Steph...I am trying to give him time and space but in the mean time i am going crazy wondering exactly whats gonna happen and whether or not he'll stay with me.