Friends with benefits?

KitKat · 08-17-2007, 11:22 AM

So here is my lttle story:
This guy and i have had a thing for acouple of yeas now. We started having sex last june, but its not all the time. We have a great connection, we talk allthe time, he helped me move apartments, i was at his house for x-mas, etc. So its not like were jsut having sex, but he has a weird thing about being in a relationship, he has never really told anyone girl he loves them. I mean i know we obvisouly have a physical attraction, but i do like him and have never told him. Should i tell him i like him? I am just scared that will mess up even our friendship, but i am so tired of just doing this thing of sex and hanging out and not being in a relationship with him. I am so confused on it all. Please i need any`advice. ask me any questions. By the way im 22 and hes 23.

**patricias213** · 08-17-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KitKat

So here is my lttle story:
This guy and i have had a thing for acouple of yeas now. We started having sex last june, but its not all the time. We have a great connection, we talk allthe time, he helped me move apartments, i was at his house for x-mas, etc. So its not like were jsut having sex, but he has a weird thing about being in a relationship, he has never really told anyone girl he loves them. I mean i know we obvisouly have a physical attraction, but i do like him and have never told him. Should i tell him i like him? I am just scared that will mess up even our friendship, but i am so tired of just doing this thing of sex and hanging out and not being in a relationship with him. I am so confused on it all. Please i need any`advice. ask me any questions. By the way im 22 and hes 23.

Be honest about your feelings for him. Then listen to his response, depending on what he says you will know if he wants a serious relationship with you or he just wants to sleep with you. If you dont tell him now your feelings will just get deeper and deeper and will be harder to let go of him later on...

switzgirl · 08-17-2007, 03:27 PM

well kitkat....you cant really tell anyone what to do in this situation.. this is what i think though...your guy.....you said hes not really into relationships right?never told a girl that he loved her?well....it seems to me he likes the "benefits" as you put it.....but not the responsibility.I've found that some guys are like that.....maybe a little too selfish to commit....or they're afraid they'll miss something better....To prideful and dont want they're freedom restricted.They'd rather play it safe by not confining themselves to one woman.Typical right?
or maybe he had a past relationship that really messed him up and hes afraid he'll get hurt again-maybe this is the case.
either way-i wouldnt sit around waiting and wondering-it does sound like ya'll are close though-so if he cares enough he'll give a straight answer-and quit giveing you the run-around....if he avoids the conversation or says anything nasty to you-then it was def. not meant to be...and you deserve better!

KitKat · 08-17-2007, 04:44 PM

Thanks alot!! I truly do need to be straight forward any if nothing comes out of it then move on!! Thanks for the anwers thats what i needed to hear!

**jen0519** · 09-05-2007, 12:43 PM

You know, the best relationship I have ever had was a "friend with benefits" type of situation. We never had a fight, we never got sick of each other. Every night that we were around each other was a lot of fun. I have never met another guy (or girl) who can understand the beauty of a fwb relationship. There is no responsibility, no being hurt if it doesn't work out. It has been three years since I last saw him and if I did I would give him a big hug and ask how he is doing. I have no hard feelings toward him. And our "relationship" lasted well over a year. But I found someone who I wanted to be with and so did he. So I am sure that his memories of me are just as fond. I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes we put too much thought into "Will I marry this guy, Will we have kids together? Does he love me?" Have fun and don't let all that stuff get in the way. Enjoy the time that you do spend with him and let that be that.

08-17-2007, 11:22 AM	#1
KitKat Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 23	Friends with benefits? So here is my lttle story: This guy and i have had a thing for acouple of yeas now. We started having sex last june, but its not all the time. We have a great connection, we talk allthe time, he helped me move apartments, i was at his house for x-mas, etc. So its not like were jsut having sex, but he has a weird thing about being in a relationship, he has never really told anyone girl he loves them. I mean i know we obvisouly have a physical attraction, but i do like him and have never told him. Should i tell him i like him? I am just scared that will mess up even our friendship, but i am so tired of just doing this thing of sex and hanging out and not being in a relationship with him. I am so confused on it all. Please i need any`advice. ask me any questions. By the way im 22 and hes 23.

08-17-2007, 03:27 PM	#3
switzgirl Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: I live in the thriving metropolis of Pell City Alabama. Posts: 20	hmm.... well kitkat....you cant really tell anyone what to do in this situation.. this is what i think though...your guy.....you said hes not really into relationships right?never told a girl that he loved her?well....it seems to me he likes the "benefits" as you put it.....but not the responsibility.I've found that some guys are like that.....maybe a little too selfish to commit....or they're afraid they'll miss something better....To prideful and dont want they're freedom restricted.They'd rather play it safe by not confining themselves to one woman.Typical right? or maybe he had a past relationship that really messed him up and hes afraid he'll get hurt again-maybe this is the case. either way-i wouldnt sit around waiting and wondering-it does sound like ya'll are close though-so if he cares enough he'll give a straight answer-and quit giveing you the run-around....if he avoids the conversation or says anything nasty to you-then it was def. not meant to be...and you deserve better!

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08-17-2007, 04:44 PM	#4
KitKat Junior Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 23	Thanks alot!! I truly do need to be straight forward any if nothing comes out of it then move on!! Thanks for the anwers thats what i needed to hear!

09-05-2007, 12:43 PM	#5
jen0519 VIP Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 91	You know, the best relationship I have ever had was a "friend with benefits" type of situation. We never had a fight, we never got sick of each other. Every night that we were around each other was a lot of fun. I have never met another guy (or girl) who can understand the beauty of a fwb relationship. There is no responsibility, no being hurt if it doesn't work out. It has been three years since I last saw him and if I did I would give him a big hug and ask how he is doing. I have no hard feelings toward him. And our "relationship" lasted well over a year. But I found someone who I wanted to be with and so did he. So I am sure that his memories of me are just as fond. I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes we put too much thought into "Will I marry this guy, Will we have kids together? Does he love me?" Have fun and don't let all that stuff get in the way. Enjoy the time that you do spend with him and let that be that.