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Thread: confused: he says he has feelings for you?

  1. #1
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    Default confused: he says he has feelings for you?


    What does a guy mean when he says "he has feelings for you" but doesn't want to be in a committed relationship?

  2. #2
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    I actually don't like that line at all.

    It to me is a cop out. Like, I will have sex with you but I am not interested in being your boyfriend... I like you though..

    He either has baggage in my opinion, and is to "scared" to enter a relationship or he is having fun being single and does not "want" to enter a relationship.

    The bottom line is, if you are after a relationship, let him go. Move on, and find what you have been trying to find and deserve.. He's not the right one for you.
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  3. #3
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    Default Spot on!

    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    I actually don't like that line at all.

    It to me is a cop out. Like, I will have sex with you but I am not interested in being your boyfriend... I like you though..

    He either has baggage in my opinion, and is to "scared" to enter a relationship or he is having fun being single and does not "want" to enter a relationship.

    The bottom line is, if you are after a relationship, let him go. Move on, and find what you have been trying to find and deserve.. He's not the right one for you.

    I totally agree with this. Sure,, he may have very strong feelings for you, but they are located in his penis. Cut him off and if these feelings are from the heart, he will fight for you.

    Unless of course you are seeking sex, then use him as he is using you. Fair trade. No loss, no gain.

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Tetris Champion Array Stillness's Avatar
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    Cocoa, it could mean the time is not right for him, but it probably means you're not the one. Men and women say this. It's a nice way of saying, I don't want a relationship with you.

    I've said similar things and have had similar things said to me. If he finds someone he's really into and she demands exclusivity, he'll cut you off without hesitation. He may even cut you off beforehand if he loses whatever interest he's showing in you now. There's probably nothing you can do to change his mind. I had a woman that I was in a year long relationship with try to insert herself in my life by being a friend, dating my friend (I told him it was cool, because I didn't want her), being physical with me - none of it mattered. There was absolutely nothing she could do. She was not the one.

    If you're really into him and there was a sliver of a chance of getting him to be really into you, it would probably result from you telling him you're looking for a different kind of relationship and cutting him off permanently. Hey, Cocoa...PERMANENTLY. I don't think it's likely to change him, but it'll do tons for your self-respect and dignity. He's already showed you the bomb he's going to drop on you. Be thankful for his honesty. You can drop your bomb first. How you handle this will affect the rest of your life.

    Would you rather him say, "I didn't care about Cocoa's needs for closeness or pleasure and used her until I got tired of her" or "I used Cocoa for a while, but she got wise and kicked me to the curb."

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    I agree with the advice. I know I want to hold out for the possibility he'll become serious later on, but based on the advice, sounds like it will probably never happen. And it's only hurting me more to stick around. I know I'm being used but I didn't know how to let go.

    It will take me some time, but I should move on.

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    It will take me some time, but I should move on.
    You definitely should In my opinion it's his way of saying "I want to sleep with you (or whatever you're doing) but otherwise I'm just not that into you." And the more this goes on, the more emotionally connected you feel. See...when we are rejected, it seems to be in our nature to want it even more. Part of your strong desire for this to happen, is most likely because you feel rejected and want to feel redeemed by "winning" him. In your mind now, he is the prize. But in reality, he's not at all the prize... you are.

    "Be what you're looking for."

    "The next time you're thinking of kicking someone when they're down, offer them your hand and help them back up instead."



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    Put on your "big girl" panties; Cocoa. We all would prefer love; but if we aren't going to get it, we can at least have self-respect. There's better for you right around the next curve in the road.

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    Junior Member Array cas27's Avatar
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    I met a man online and he told me those lines...he has feelings for me but he isnt looking for a serious relationship yet..and I thought I could live like that..ight now,he has one chatmate who is according to him a virgin and he wouldnt pursue though he likes her...He told me nothing to worry about but with my constant jealousy...he said he wanted to go...now he is letting me feel how cold he is...his time for me is now with the other I guess..he doesnt emails much and chat with me much...and it is hurting me..Iwanna keep him but I dont understand why he needs the girl still..

  9. #9
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    well we were planning to meet..but I guess it is different now for him..I really have the plan to meet him and see where it goes..and if we move forward..I know I will get closer cause I won't be living in this place where I am right now..I will move closer to him cause it will be very hard to manage a long distance affair..and in the same way I will have to find another place where i can go back to a laid back life...those thing..it's moving closer like hitting different things using one stone...

  10. #10
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Cas,

    Sitting behind a computer and meeting someone that makes you feel "special", "loved" when you hate being where you are, in your life and where you are living even, lonely....makes each day special huh...

    If he has told you to quit your jealousy and tells you it is constant and you haven't met and he's persuing a "virgin"... Then to me, this "character" is just that, using the net to whoo whoever and he has a hold on you.. I think you should block him and look for someone who means what he says..

    He's not serious sweet and you don't and should never have to feel "un-safe" or used even if it's emotional.
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

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