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Thread: Is my boyfriend gay/bisexual!??

  1. #1
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    Default Is my boyfriend gay/bisexual!??


    My boyfriend and I have only been dating for 9 months, but we're pretty serious. We have an amazing sex life; both of us are completely satisfied...or, so I thought. A couple of days ago, I got on my laptop to find that he had left his email up. I saw an email with the subject titled "Morning Sex- m4m", which I knew that meant Man-for-Man. So, obviously, I got freaked out and went through his emails. I found numerous emails between him and other males from the website, Craig's List, about looking for someone (another man!) to hook up with and about how he wanted to receive oral and penetrate them. I was in shock. My boyfriend is a 6'0, 175, masculine, black man. He is always turned on by looking at girls and I can turn him on instantly, no problem, so I know he obviously likes girls. But does he like guys, also?

    When I asked him about it, I approached him very politely because I have a gay brother and know what it is like to see someone confused. I wanted to help him. But, he claimed that he did all that because he liked to "mess with those people". He swears he never actually went through with it and met up with any of them (which I found no evidence of him actually going through with it). And he swears he does not like guys in any way, whatsoever. I'm still in such shock, I don't know what to believe. Obviously, I don't want to believe my boyfriend, who is VERY masculine and seems to be VERY into girls, is gay. But then again, do straight men really have nothing better to do than to email stuff like that to other guys? I could see maybe other girls, but other guys....?? What do I do?

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Pollon's Avatar
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    His behavior certainly suggests he has excess energy focused that way. He could be bi, curious, turned on by, obsessed, hostile, cruel, etc, toward the gay community.

    How do you feel about a guy who likes to "mess" with other people's lives? Have you seen him treat others with so little respect? And how does he interact with your brother?

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    Hi I am in a sort of similar position, but I would like to create a new post about it.

    Can anybody tell me how to do this please?

  4. #4
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Harmony's Avatar
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    As a man I'd say he's probably bisexual.

    A couple of gay men I know have told me that the most 'anti gay' and homophobic ones are usually the 'hetero-flexible'/bi-sexual ones most open to the idea of experimenting.

    You mentioned he is black, while his race has nothing to do with his sexuality bare in mind homosexuality is criminalized is most of Africa and whilst I'm not sure of the law in and around Jamaica homosexuality is at least very much frowned upon. 'Batty men' are often subject to violent hate crimes and lesbian women have even reported being the victims of 'curative rape'. So IF there is a any cultural influence in his homosexuality it is likely going to lend itself to him making rigorous denials and any excuse possible before admitting to being gay.

    If, on the other hand he has nothing better to do than message gay men pretending to be one himself then he's a tool.
    No matter how objective we try to be, we all see through our own eyes...

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    May be he is just curious and is not actually serious with those emails and all.

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    There are really guys who just like to mess up but I don't think he is bisexual.

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    Bi maybe ...but I would lean towards the just having a little fun messing with guys. Some guys very secure with their own sexuality can get playful with others without much concern, and being so that he is emailing a guy may (in his mind) make it seem ok, unlike emailing a woman where he may feel like he is cheating on you.

    Some may see that as being mean or disrespectful to gays. And yes it can be. However in most cases it is simply poking fun much like you would do to a buddy. Never really meaning any harm. Just amusing ones self at the moment.
    If you're not learning you're not living!

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    OP originally asked this in November 2012, the date shows on the left hand side, not sure if the OP will return to reply however, will leave this open for now, bare in mind if the OP does not return one of the Moderators, myself or Little will close the thread.
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

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    Quote Originally Posted by strawberryfields View Post
    Hi I am in a sort of similar position, but I would like to create a new post about it.

    Can anybody tell me how to do this please?
    Hi Strawberry, go to the section up the top, Relationships, then select start new thread, type your heading and post.

    Welcome to the Forum ..
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

  10. #10
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    I can see him doing this to mess around... Though I've never done it. How old is he? If he's like 19 or something like that... I can see that happening.

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