Confused??!! Claiming he likes me

**ariel** · 12-30-2007, 10:11 AM

Well i had this really really close friends. I went to his house for the first time. When i wanted to leave, he just said ok.. WHAT??!! He expects me to go out by myself. I mean it's my first day at his house.. how do i know where's the key and stuffs.. He just lie on his bed saying the door is not lock. Then i asked him.. Ain't u sending me off? At least open the door for me? i felt so sad by his action.. When i told him this, he still went to ask his friend.. obviously he don't find anything wrong with this..

Well.. Am i wrong? He likes me but why doesn't he even send me off to the door.. I mean this is only a small thing.. I don't understand what he is thinking.. After that, he just told me he treated his friends like that.. They just come and go.. Never has anyone treated me like that.. I mean its a basic courtesy right? Even my friends open the door for me and say good bye.. Futhermore i'm a girl!! Its so sad.. Am i over reacting and weird?

**metalbudderfly** · 12-30-2007, 10:52 AM

hi ariel,
well it sounds like to me he just considers you a friend. nothing more or nothing less. in my experiences most of the men i dated or interested in me always were very attentive to me and my feelings. well you are probaly young and hey i wouldn't worry about this just remain friends and thats all. trust me you will find a guy that will be more interested in your feelings and be more attentive to you. i wouldn't put myself through anymore grief. there are lots of fish in the sea!!!!! Lynne

**ariel** · 12-31-2007, 11:46 AM

thanks so much =p i think that too but when i asked him he just told me he wasn't caring enough.. as he didn't have much experience in relationships.. rather confused.. haha

**alibaby** · 12-31-2007, 04:37 PM

Hi ariel.

I don't think that one has to be in a relationship to have manners...it is just basic courtesy. That's something that he would have learned when he was growing up, the same way that many children are taught to say 'please' and 'thank you'. He said that he isn't caring enough. That should be a warning that it will probably take a lot for him to change his ways. You can get involved with this friend and fight about his manners or find someone else that has the manners that you need to be happy.

mmontgomery891 · 01-01-2008, 05:10 AM

probably best to move on judging from his behavior. 9 times out of 10, if something doesn't feel right to you, it isn't right.

**rcoreyus** · 01-01-2008, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alibaby

Hi ariel.

I don't think that one has to be in a relationship to have manners...it is just basic courtesy. That's something that he would have learned when he was growing up, the same way that many children are taught to say 'please' and 'thank you'. He said that he isn't caring enough. That should be a warning that it will probably take a lot for him to change his ways. You can get involved with this friend and fight about his manners or find someone else that has the manners that you need to be happy.

Some people were never taught manners - not really their fault. It is possible he is just clueless, not intentionally rude.

**alibaby** · 01-01-2008, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

Some people were never taught manners - not really their fault. It is possible he is just clueless, not intentionally rude.

That's very possible. 'ariel' will have to decide if she wants to try teaching him manners, since it seems that no one else has.

**ariel** · 01-01-2008, 11:20 PM

haha.. i've taught him but i don't think he gets it tho.. hmm..

**LadyLane** · 01-01-2008, 11:57 PM

When guys are young, they need to be taught. (sorry rcoreyus

)

If you think he's worth it, go for it. You'll have to be patient, and go easy on him. I had a boyfriend whose father was an alcoholic and he never really taught him the right things to do when it came to girls. I always thought his lack of certain things was because he didn't like me... but he did. He just never knew to do certain things, because he was never taught. Like open the door for me. Or walk me to it. So on and so forth. But I would say, Will you walk me to the door? Or one time I just stood in front of the door at a restaurant like forever, even though I got to it first. He was like, WHAT are you doing? And I smiled and said, Waiting for you to open the door for me! He thought it was the funniest thing ever. But many girls after me had their doors opened by him.

And I'll tell you what... my husband (totally different guy) still thinks its funny I won't open doors for myself when I'm with him after all these years of being together. I just stand there.

I was taught by my parents that a gentleman opens doors for a lady. What can I do, right?

**ariel** · 01-02-2008, 07:40 AM

haha i love your actions.. you don't directly tell them its wrong.. a good way so as not to hurt their pride =p

12-30-2007, 10:11 AM	#1
ariel VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 54	Confused??!! Claiming he likes me Well i had this really really close friends. I went to his house for the first time. When i wanted to leave, he just said ok.. WHAT??!! He expects me to go out by myself. I mean it's my first day at his house.. how do i know where's the key and stuffs.. He just lie on his bed saying the door is not lock. Then i asked him.. Ain't u sending me off? At least open the door for me? i felt so sad by his action.. When i told him this, he still went to ask his friend.. obviously he don't find anything wrong with this.. Well.. Am i wrong? He likes me but why doesn't he even send me off to the door.. I mean this is only a small thing.. I don't understand what he is thinking.. After that, he just told me he treated his friends like that.. They just come and go.. Never has anyone treated me like that.. I mean its a basic courtesy right? Even my friends open the door for me and say good bye.. Futhermore i'm a girl!! Its so sad.. Am i over reacting and weird?

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12-30-2007, 10:52 AM	#2
metalbudderfly Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: utah Posts: 210	hi ariel, well it sounds like to me he just considers you a friend. nothing more or nothing less. in my experiences most of the men i dated or interested in me always were very attentive to me and my feelings. well you are probaly young and hey i wouldn't worry about this just remain friends and thats all. trust me you will find a guy that will be more interested in your feelings and be more attentive to you. i wouldn't put myself through anymore grief. there are lots of fish in the sea!!!!! Lynne

12-31-2007, 11:46 AM	#3
ariel VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 54	thanks so much =p i think that too but when i asked him he just told me he wasn't caring enough.. as he didn't have much experience in relationships.. rather confused.. haha

12-31-2007, 04:37 PM	#4
alibaby December 2007 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 373	Hi ariel. I don't think that one has to be in a relationship to have manners...it is just basic courtesy. That's something that he would have learned when he was growing up, the same way that many children are taught to say 'please' and 'thank you'. He said that he isn't caring enough. That should be a warning that it will probably take a lot for him to change his ways. You can get involved with this friend and fight about his manners or find someone else that has the manners that you need to be happy.

01-01-2008, 05:10 AM	#5
mmontgomery891 Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 27	probably best to move on judging from his behavior. 9 times out of 10, if something doesn't feel right to you, it isn't right.

01-01-2008, 11:20 PM	#8
ariel VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 54	haha.. i've taught him but i don't think he gets it tho.. hmm..

01-01-2008, 11:57 PM	#9
LadyLane Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 361	When guys are young, they need to be taught. (sorry rcoreyus ) If you think he's worth it, go for it. You'll have to be patient, and go easy on him. I had a boyfriend whose father was an alcoholic and he never really taught him the right things to do when it came to girls. I always thought his lack of certain things was because he didn't like me... but he did. He just never knew to do certain things, because he was never taught. Like open the door for me. Or walk me to it. So on and so forth. But I would say, Will you walk me to the door? Or one time I just stood in front of the door at a restaurant like forever, even though I got to it first. He was like, WHAT are you doing? And I smiled and said, Waiting for you to open the door for me! He thought it was the funniest thing ever. But many girls after me had their doors opened by him. And I'll tell you what... my husband (totally different guy) still thinks its funny I won't open doors for myself when I'm with him after all these years of being together. I just stand there. I was taught by my parents that a gentleman opens doors for a lady. What can I do, right?

01-02-2008, 07:40 AM	#10
ariel VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 54	haha i love your actions.. you don't directly tell them its wrong.. a good way so as not to hurt their pride =p