cant tell what to do - Page 2

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-06-2008, 03:07 PM

Each time you have written, you talk about buying him things.

And, the first time he said to you why can't you be bad, instead of nice.

I think, he has genuine feelings for you, but you are buying his love not because you need to or want to, it's probably your nature, a giver.

Men find it hard when a woman gives and gives and gives.... It's clostrophobic a little.

It doesn't sound like he's coming back for the gifts but it does sound like he wants you to stand a little more "taller".... confident.

He also sounds therefore a little confused of his feelings.

I say, stop buying him things every time you feel he's been a bit "strange" to try to make it up, what are you making up?

And, it seems you make a "little arguement" when you feel he is being a bit "strange" for a couple of days.

Honesty is good to. You both need to communicate a little more with each other and tell each other what you do like about each other and what you don't like about each other, make it like a game, no arguements, no pressure and find out, then work with it.

My thoughts

C · 03-06-2008, 04:17 PM

I am sorry honey but I would learn the words to the song "The party's over". Trying to rekindle something that has died out is just about impossible. I think that is why in marriages it is so much easier keeping a special closeness even when things get rough. Sweetie, from the viewpoint of an outsider looking in for the first time, you are trying to buy back his love.....

Life just doesn't happen that way. You can hope and pray and do everything that you possibly can but stop hurting yourself more. Move on....He knows where you live and let him seek you out if he wants to see you. Don't go out of your way to see him at places that you both used to go to. Stay clear and mend your heart. It will take a while to heal but give yourself time and smell the roses out there....It will not happen if it wasn't suppose to happen...and it will if it should....TC, C

smcbrat08 · 03-07-2008, 11:08 AM

frist i want to thank yall for yalls advice and i understand where it can look like him trying to buy back his love and all but honestly im not. during are almost 3yrs relationship he has always bought me stuff and ive never really had money to get him anything. well i just got a raise and now have the money to get him something. now the t-shirt was something nice to get him but the lunch was a im sorry for being a witch thing. but i guess ill just back off and see where it goes..

03-06-2008, 03:07 PM	#11
CHANDLERS WISH WH Head Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 12,643 Blog Entries: 8	the giving woman Each time you have written, you talk about buying him things. And, the first time he said to you why can't you be bad, instead of nice. I think, he has genuine feelings for you, but you are buying his love not because you need to or want to, it's probably your nature, a giver. Men find it hard when a woman gives and gives and gives.... It's clostrophobic a little. It doesn't sound like he's coming back for the gifts but it does sound like he wants you to stand a little more "taller".... confident. He also sounds therefore a little confused of his feelings. I say, stop buying him things every time you feel he's been a bit "strange" to try to make it up, what are you making up? And, it seems you make a "little arguement" when you feel he is being a bit "strange" for a couple of days. Honesty is good to. You both need to communicate a little more with each other and tell each other what you do like about each other and what you don't like about each other, make it like a game, no arguements, no pressure and find out, then work with it. My thoughts

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

03-06-2008, 04:17 PM	#12
C Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,002	I am sorry honey but I would learn the words to the song "The party's over". Trying to rekindle something that has died out is just about impossible. I think that is why in marriages it is so much easier keeping a special closeness even when things get rough. Sweetie, from the viewpoint of an outsider looking in for the first time, you are trying to buy back his love..... Life just doesn't happen that way. You can hope and pray and do everything that you possibly can but stop hurting yourself more. Move on....He knows where you live and let him seek you out if he wants to see you. Don't go out of your way to see him at places that you both used to go to. Stay clear and mend your heart. It will take a while to heal but give yourself time and smell the roses out there....It will not happen if it wasn't suppose to happen...and it will if it should....TC, C

03-07-2008, 11:08 AM	#13
smcbrat08 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 6	frist i want to thank yall for yalls advice and i understand where it can look like him trying to buy back his love and all but honestly im not. during are almost 3yrs relationship he has always bought me stuff and ive never really had money to get him anything. well i just got a raise and now have the money to get him something. now the t-shirt was something nice to get him but the lunch was a im sorry for being a witch thing. but i guess ill just back off and see where it goes..