Should I stay or go?

SecondGuess · 01-02-2008, 01:49 PM

I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. At first the relationship started out great, it was the beginning stages of love. I use to go to his work and surprise him with gifts and send him text messages just to tell him that I missed him.

During the 2 years we were together I was busy schooling full-time and working full-time, so I didn't have anytime. The time we did have we'd fight about ****** little things. He has a habit of calling me names when he gets angry and when it comes down to it, I'm the one who's apologizing and begging him to stay.

In the last 2 years, I've lost alot of girlfriends, the reason why they don't want to be friends anymore is because they say I am controlling of him. It's not true, I give him the freedom to go out with his friends and do the things he likes. It's just he refuses to go out with them. I feel like I'm suffucating, he always wants to be around, he wants to go everywhere I go, he's reasoning for keeping such a close eye on me is because he thinks the world is a scary place for a person like me. I think I'm very capable of taking care of myself.

I've spoke to him multiple times about how the chemistry isn't there anymore. I want to be with him but the sparks not there anymore and sometimes when he calls all I feel like doing is telling him that I'm busy. He promises after school that everything will be different, that he'll be a new person. Should I stay and give him a chance to be a new person or should I go out and experience new love?

**metalbudderfly** · 01-02-2008, 08:43 PM

hi secondguess,
well i have had my fair share of relationships. i have been in ones where i felt like i had to have this person no matter what and would do whatever it took to stay in the relationship. well i have learned that i didn't have to settle for that. i'm glad i did because if i didn't spread my wings so to say then i wouldn't have met my husband now. i think you should go out and experience life with many people. broaden your horizons. sounds to me your a very smart and together girl and you really don't need a man in your life to get by. save yourself the greif and don't waste your time on this one guy because the time you put into this could be time finding someone that you will have great chemistry with. so i say be free and experience life as a single gal!!!! have fun and i don't think you should have to lose friends over this either. maybe that is a sign for you. well i hope you find that right guy for you and wish you all the luck!!!!!!

**ariel** · 01-03-2008, 10:29 AM

well.. i had a bf like that before.. i can say it sucks.. i lost all my gf too.. he wanted to be with me all the time that i don't have anytime with my friends at all..and he didn't wanna go out with his friends and always used me as an excuse.. he tell tales like i wouldn't let him go and stuffs.. making me the baddie.. all i can say is that you are still young and you can always find better and more suitable guy for you.. take care and think wisely =p good luck

SecondGuess · 01-03-2008, 10:49 PM

Well how do I tell him I want to end it? He's a really good guy, so nice and he wants to work everything out, but how do I let him down without crushing him? I know that if I do break up with him he'll try to get me to stay. I know that I'll miss him when he leaves and of course the pain will be there, but what do I do so that I don't think about him? Do I do things to make him hate me, or do I slowly push him away?

**metalbudderfly** · 01-04-2008, 07:17 PM

well i don't think breaking it off with anyone is going to be easy. just tell him that's it it is over. he may be a nice guy but if this is something you don't want then tell him that. if he respects you enough then he will just have to except that you don't want a relationship with him. you don't owe him anything else but that your final decision. don't let him play games with your heart or mind. try to occupy yourself with a hobby try to keep busy so you don't think of him. you will get over him, time always heals. be strong and stick to your decision. there are too many good men out there, lots of fish in the sea!!!!!!

SecondGuess · 01-09-2008, 09:32 AM

Thank you so much!

01-02-2008, 01:49 PM	#1
SecondGuess Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 14	Should I stay or go? I've been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. At first the relationship started out great, it was the beginning stages of love. I use to go to his work and surprise him with gifts and send him text messages just to tell him that I missed him. During the 2 years we were together I was busy schooling full-time and working full-time, so I didn't have anytime. The time we did have we'd fight about ****** little things. He has a habit of calling me names when he gets angry and when it comes down to it, I'm the one who's apologizing and begging him to stay. In the last 2 years, I've lost alot of girlfriends, the reason why they don't want to be friends anymore is because they say I am controlling of him. It's not true, I give him the freedom to go out with his friends and do the things he likes. It's just he refuses to go out with them. I feel like I'm suffucating, he always wants to be around, he wants to go everywhere I go, he's reasoning for keeping such a close eye on me is because he thinks the world is a scary place for a person like me. I think I'm very capable of taking care of myself. I've spoke to him multiple times about how the chemistry isn't there anymore. I want to be with him but the sparks not there anymore and sometimes when he calls all I feel like doing is telling him that I'm busy. He promises after school that everything will be different, that he'll be a new person. Should I stay and give him a chance to be a new person or should I go out and experience new love?

01-02-2008, 08:43 PM	#2
metalbudderfly Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: utah Posts: 210	hi secondguess, well i have had my fair share of relationships. i have been in ones where i felt like i had to have this person no matter what and would do whatever it took to stay in the relationship. well i have learned that i didn't have to settle for that. i'm glad i did because if i didn't spread my wings so to say then i wouldn't have met my husband now. i think you should go out and experience life with many people. broaden your horizons. sounds to me your a very smart and together girl and you really don't need a man in your life to get by. save yourself the greif and don't waste your time on this one guy because the time you put into this could be time finding someone that you will have great chemistry with. so i say be free and experience life as a single gal!!!! have fun and i don't think you should have to lose friends over this either. maybe that is a sign for you. well i hope you find that right guy for you and wish you all the luck!!!!!! __________________ LYNNE

01-04-2008, 07:17 PM	#5
metalbudderfly Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: utah Posts: 210	well i don't think breaking it off with anyone is going to be easy. just tell him that's it it is over. he may be a nice guy but if this is something you don't want then tell him that. if he respects you enough then he will just have to except that you don't want a relationship with him. you don't owe him anything else but that your final decision. don't let him play games with your heart or mind. try to occupy yourself with a hobby try to keep busy so you don't think of him. you will get over him, time always heals. be strong and stick to your decision. there are too many good men out there, lots of fish in the sea!!!!!! __________________ LYNNE

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01-03-2008, 10:29 AM	#3
ariel VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 54	well.. i had a bf like that before.. i can say it sucks.. i lost all my gf too.. he wanted to be with me all the time that i don't have anytime with my friends at all..and he didn't wanna go out with his friends and always used me as an excuse.. he tell tales like i wouldn't let him go and stuffs.. making me the baddie.. all i can say is that you are still young and you can always find better and more suitable guy for you.. take care and think wisely =p good luck

01-03-2008, 10:49 PM	#4
SecondGuess Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 14	Well how do I tell him I want to end it? He's a really good guy, so nice and he wants to work everything out, but how do I let him down without crushing him? I know that if I do break up with him he'll try to get me to stay. I know that I'll miss him when he leaves and of course the pain will be there, but what do I do so that I don't think about him? Do I do things to make him hate me, or do I slowly push him away?

01-09-2008, 09:32 AM	#6
SecondGuess Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 14	Thank you so much!