why am I attracted to older guys?

**sweetie27** · 01-20-2008, 04:00 AM

Ever since I started dating I have been attracted to guys at least 5 years older than me. Right now I am 27 and dating a 46yr old. Whats the deal? I am ok with it but why am I so hot for the older guy? Dad was always around, no abuse, very supportive... I don't get it? Anyone?

**rcoreyus** · 01-20-2008, 12:45 PM

Older men tend to have more wealth and power. They have more experience of the world, more to talk about. They may have more experience in the bedroom as well. Often they are more considerate.

But - as men get older, they are more likely to have physical problems, won't have the energy they had when they are young. They are less likely to do adventuresome things - have more to loose.

I think dating someone 20 years older is fine. But - if you think about a perminent relationship, think of the future. When you are a healthy active 55, they may be a failing 75 -some people are in nursing homes at that age.

My advice is rent, but don't own.

(this from a guy in his mid 40s btw).

**metalbudderfly** · 01-20-2008, 04:34 PM

i agree alot with rcoreyus,
also i think that women seem to mature sooner than men so an older man probaly seems attractive to you because they are more mature than a younger man. heck my brother is 33 and he still hasn't grown up much. he wanted the present i gave to his son for him. it was a transformer action figure. in my opinion men really always will be kids at heart. not a bad thing if you think of it.

**sweetie27** · 01-21-2008, 02:53 PM

Lol. I dated a 40 yr. old not so long ago and we had a texas chainsaw poster in the bedroom and he was always getting toys for christmas... not exactly what I was looking for. This guy I am seeing now... OMG! The way he kisses me, looks at me, everything. I am so in love with him. He and I have been dating for 8 months. He is the guy you see in the movies, holds your face when he kisses you, plays with my hair all the good stuff. I worry too that if we are together for any length of time that you are both right about his drive and himself depleting way before me. Definately something to think about and NO I am not in love with being in love. I have analyzed the S*** out of this relationship. Thanks though.

Crystal-Anne · 02-19-2008, 11:02 PM

Being attracted to older men is actually a quite common thing

. It is the situation I find myself in currently. I am 17 and dating a guy who just turned 24, whom my mother is slowly getting used to, but my father and Brother like him and his family likes me too.....
Anywho...
It is the maturity level for sure in this case.I am very mature for my age and so I need someone just as mature if not more so. Someone who I can have an intelligent conversation with and still know he is listening to and understanding everything I say. Older men know more and are also pleasantly respectfull, more so than younger boys whos first thought is to get into your pants and undo that bra as fast as he can..NoThankYou!

yes older men are more experianced and are not afraid to suggest somthing ur all "

" about..but thats just how life is..you cant be ready for everything...go with the flow...dont worry about WHY your attracted to older men...just take it how it is..it is perfectly normal and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me you will see it that way for yourself too

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 02-20-2008, 06:35 AM

I went to college whilst I was at university for a year, so I was a 20 year old in a class full of 16 year old girls. For me, this proved that girls aren't more mature than boys. They all talked about completely vacuous ****, which nobody could even pretend to care about. Their existance was so shallow it was basically a line. Sure, they all wanted to LOOK mature, and to pretend to be mature, but they didn't have a clue. A few of those girls took an interest to me 'cos I was older, and I guess they thought that their maturity would be a match for mine (like ****).

Of all the relationships I know where the girl is about 17/18 and the guy is 23+ are unhealthy. They are NOT equal relationships, the girl is basically a child that they guy looks after (and shags, which is creepy).

My advice, try to be a kid, enjoy your youth, and stop tying to win respect by acting/pretending to be mature.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-16-2008, 06:34 PM

If we take the theory that dogs look like their owners, it's amuzing because when we look at the owners and what dogs they chose it's so funny..

I once read that women also tend to look for their father image if their relationship was "princess" and "father".

We want that love that we were give.

It is also known that woman are 4 years more mature than a male.

I understand the post of 20 verses 16, as 16 she's still a teenager giggling and learning. Some haven't even begun to have sex yet and a 20 year old males' hormones are jumping...

I also agree with maturety. An older man is wiser, more knowledgeable it's a turn on to hear his wisdom, as we feel so young and vulnerable, it's exciting i'm with a "real man"...

And, i also agree that 20 years for future may be difficult in the long run but then we have Catherine Zeta Zones, and reversed Demi Moore.

What constitutes love and attraction... Like attracts like.

Just enjoy each and every journey age is not an issue.

Older men sexually, well i think Caroline squashes all you men out there and your thoughts of older guys and what they can and can't do.

And, mine is 48, trust me, what he brings to the table a woman could only dream and fantasise about.

As the saying goes " your as old as the woman you feel" if she is young and vibrant in the bedroom regardless of age, so he will be and forever hold their peace.....

Your 45 year old guy is probably feeling like a teenager at the moment and can't believe it...

ima · 03-23-2008, 06:05 AM

Your experience in this life seems to be limited. You really need a caring and a loving man who is unlikely to change his mind every now and then.
Seek sincere friends outside our sociaty. There, you can find real love and commitment. One of my friends got married to a foriegner. She thinks that she found a treasure!
Seek the paradise of other cultures and escape our false trditions.
I have a number of worthy friends there.
I hope you understand me.

C · 03-23-2008, 02:35 PM

Because you have less of a chance to be dumped or jilted by an older man...He is more insecure and is battling age. This gives you the power to feel more secure and superior...A younger man would be far more adventuresome and harder to corral....Just my thoughts...

01-20-2008, 04:00 AM	#1
sweetie27 VIP Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Mass Posts: 88	why am I attracted to older guys? Ever since I started dating I have been attracted to guys at least 5 years older than me. Right now I am 27 and dating a 46yr old. Whats the deal? I am ok with it but why am I so hot for the older guy? Dad was always around, no abuse, very supportive... I don't get it? Anyone?

01-20-2008, 04:34 PM	#3
metalbudderfly Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: utah Posts: 210	i agree alot with rcoreyus, also i think that women seem to mature sooner than men so an older man probaly seems attractive to you because they are more mature than a younger man. heck my brother is 33 and he still hasn't grown up much. he wanted the present i gave to his son for him. it was a transformer action figure. in my opinion men really always will be kids at heart. not a bad thing if you think of it. __________________ LYNNE

02-19-2008, 11:02 PM	#5
Crystal-Anne Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Oshawa Posts: 3	perfection Being attracted to older men is actually a quite common thing. It is the situation I find myself in currently. I am 17 and dating a guy who just turned 24, whom my mother is slowly getting used to, but my father and Brother like him and his family likes me too..... Anywho... It is the maturity level for sure in this case.I am very mature for my age and so I need someone just as mature if not more so. Someone who I can have an intelligent conversation with and still know he is listening to and understanding everything I say. Older men know more and are also pleasantly respectfull, more so than younger boys whos first thought is to get into your pants and undo that bra as fast as he can..NoThankYou! yes older men are more experianced and are not afraid to suggest somthing ur all "" about..but thats just how life is..you cant be ready for everything...go with the flow...dont worry about WHY your attracted to older men...just take it how it is..it is perfectly normal and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me you will see it that way for yourself too

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01-20-2008, 12:45 PM	#2
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,333	Older men tend to have more wealth and power. They have more experience of the world, more to talk about. They may have more experience in the bedroom as well. Often they are more considerate. But - as men get older, they are more likely to have physical problems, won't have the energy they had when they are young. They are less likely to do adventuresome things - have more to loose. I think dating someone 20 years older is fine. But - if you think about a perminent relationship, think of the future. When you are a healthy active 55, they may be a failing 75 -some people are in nursing homes at that age. My advice is rent, but don't own. (this from a guy in his mid 40s btw).

01-21-2008, 02:53 PM	#4
sweetie27 VIP Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Mass Posts: 88	Lol. I dated a 40 yr. old not so long ago and we had a texas chainsaw poster in the bedroom and he was always getting toys for christmas... not exactly what I was looking for. This guy I am seeing now... OMG! The way he kisses me, looks at me, everything. I am so in love with him. He and I have been dating for 8 months. He is the guy you see in the movies, holds your face when he kisses you, plays with my hair all the good stuff. I worry too that if we are together for any length of time that you are both right about his drive and himself depleting way before me. Definately something to think about and NO I am not in love with being in love. I have analyzed the S*** out of this relationship. Thanks though.

02-20-2008, 06:35 AM	#6
anonymouswhitefemale May 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,419 Blog Entries: 2	I went to college whilst I was at university for a year, so I was a 20 year old in a class full of 16 year old girls. For me, this proved that girls aren't more mature than boys. They all talked about completely vacuous **, which nobody could even pretend to care about. Their existance was so shallow it was basically a line. Sure, they all wanted to LOOK mature, and to pretend to be mature, but they didn't have a clue. A few of those girls took an interest to me 'cos I was older, and I guess they thought that their maturity would be a match for mine (like **). Of all the relationships I know where the girl is about 17/18 and the guy is 23+ are unhealthy. They are NOT equal relationships, the girl is basically a child that they guy looks after (and shags, which is creepy). My advice, try to be a kid, enjoy your youth, and stop tying to win respect by acting/pretending to be mature.

03-16-2008, 06:34 PM	#7
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,887 Blog Entries: 7	If we take the theory that dogs look like their owners, it's amuzing because when we look at the owners and what dogs they chose it's so funny.. I once read that women also tend to look for their father image if their relationship was "princess" and "father". We want that love that we were give. It is also known that woman are 4 years more mature than a male. I understand the post of 20 verses 16, as 16 she's still a teenager giggling and learning. Some haven't even begun to have sex yet and a 20 year old males' hormones are jumping... I also agree with maturety. An older man is wiser, more knowledgeable it's a turn on to hear his wisdom, as we feel so young and vulnerable, it's exciting i'm with a "real man"... And, i also agree that 20 years for future may be difficult in the long run but then we have Catherine Zeta Zones, and reversed Demi Moore. What constitutes love and attraction... Like attracts like. Just enjoy each and every journey age is not an issue. Older men sexually, well i think Caroline squashes all you men out there and your thoughts of older guys and what they can and can't do. And, mine is 48, trust me, what he brings to the table a woman could only dream and fantasise about. As the saying goes " your as old as the woman you feel" if she is young and vibrant in the bedroom regardless of age, so he will be and forever hold their peace..... Your 45 year old guy is probably feeling like a teenager at the moment and can't believe it...

03-23-2008, 06:05 AM	#8
ima Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2	Your experience in this life seems to be limited. You really need a caring and a loving man who is unlikely to change his mind every now and then. Seek sincere friends outside our sociaty. There, you can find real love and commitment. One of my friends got married to a foriegner. She thinks that she found a treasure! Seek the paradise of other cultures and escape our false trditions. I have a number of worthy friends there. I hope you understand me.

03-23-2008, 02:35 PM	#9
C Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,002	Because you have less of a chance to be dumped or jilted by an older man...He is more insecure and is battling age. This gives you the power to feel more secure and superior...A younger man would be far more adventuresome and harder to corral....Just my thoughts...