Thread: On line dating for the mature woman

I think there is a difference between the younger generation utilising this form of dating to that of the older woman, being middle aged.

The younger women can easily attend night clubs, parties, events of all descriptions, local sports, and there will be at least 4 men to every girl, she can literaly take her pick of single men.

Here she gets to feel comfortable, chat away first, see his photo, and also i think perhaps, an excitement of fun..

Now the middle age generation:-

We either come from a long term relationship/separtation/divorce....

We also are more wary, as i believe every woman has "instincts" but a woman at that age also has knowledge and experience.

Now when we click on that site and see what's out there, often we read, i just want someone to love, i'm lonely, i'm looking for fun and see where it takes us, i want a travelling partner, i'm looking for my soulmate, i know what i want, so don't reply unless your this age, this size, with these qualities.

Mmm.

I to have been on these sights. I am separated, divorcing 30th May 2008, ooh that happens to actually also be the same date that i physically meet my new man of 5 months, exact date, but that's another story.....

Now, i went on pretty much immediately and got deflated. Hundreds of replies, some 15 years older than me, some i could tell were dying to find a lady that would give them a ticket to their freedom.

I also gained a few male friends and we write to each other chat from time to time. They are genuine, loving men that really do want to seek their soulmate but alas, i am not her.

And, i had some amuzing situations.

Firstly, i think the important thing to consider is why you should attempt this. 1. Confidence. After a break up and in search and ready to start again, we are often lost, have lower self esteme and little confidence. It is a much easier way to meet men as we can walk away from a coffee date, sorry, have to pick up the children etc. But each date allows us to gain more confidence as we dress to impress and speak our minds to those who end up being a total jerk.

2. Dress:- It not only adds back our confidence but brings out the beauty again from within, knowing we are "women".

3. Prepares us for hopefully finding "the one" we want to see where the path takes us.

What you have to consider is, the photos are not always current. The text is sometimes written by someone else. The text is short so the verbal when you meet may be totally different and not appealing at all as conversations go. Some have read the links on how to seduce a woman and that is their real objective. Some believe that a woman out of a relationship is lonely so they may be in for a chance. Some are just so emotionally un-attainable that you will never break in there anyway, the list goes on....

Tip: Most will immediately provide their phone number and email address expecting you to quite writing there and email them or call them. Don't do it. It's your private world at the moment and safety net and you don't even know them after 1 reply, or chat.....



This is my journey:-

1st date: - Retired, 42, sea views from balcony. Sounds rich doesn't he. Very good looking and the age group he required i was under.

We did email back and forward after a while for around a month before meeting. My profile stipulated friendship. I thought i'd play it safe.

Alas, the emails were fantastic, fun and he looked better in real life. And he immediately wanted friendship reminding me that is what i posted. So he joined in on drinks with friends etc. I stayed over but only to ensure i didn't drive and always fully clothed. Yes, i grew to like him until one day, i got a phone message and that little voice said " insecure" this is the true him. Turned out, that i was right. First he was retired, from the Army, second he lived in an old apartment and had a smiggen of sea views, 3rd he has totally in secure with himself and that fear made him enter a relationship with a plain jane nice girl that couldn't believe he liked her, and 5 months later, he has said i think it's over i haven't told her yet, but there's no passion, it's just being together. I responded with "well you shouldn't have just jumped in you should have fallen in love / lust first" as that is what he did. We are great friends and he is in lust with me i suspect always was just wasn't secure enough and isn't to think he can have that.

2nd, try to make this brief: He was " i have read everything about seduction" and tried to seduce. Good for him, that lasted 2 dates, got him no where not sure where he's at now...lol.

3rd, 6 year old photo, someone else wrote it... Wished him well.

4th, Didn't have time to cut his hair it was everywhere, yes had a missing foot but i wouldn't hold that against someone, then talked about other problems with his eyes, this and that, all on the first date? Ok.

5th, sweetheart, miss you, yes, yes and yes, darling, after 3 weeks, i travelled to another state to meet this one, yep, photo was old, and all that guts he had, gone, none, ahhhhh. Had a good time, not sexually, but made sure i saw the sights.

6th, well, haven't met him yet. But when i read his profile one thing stuck out. " I am not here because i want a relationship, i feel that i am ready to have one". Mmmm.

We started writing to each other and 3 months later, i am in lust, i am romanced, i have opened up, i am woman, i laugh, i tell him my inner most secrets, my fears, my passion, my hurt, and i tell him lots actually.

Now, i will meet him personally in 2 months. He lives on the other side of the world but his profile also stipulated that he is moving here and wants to therefore look here. I could go on and on but that's another thread, and another area to place it in.

But there is no fear with this man, it is evident from all communication and i mean all that is available to us, that his photo is current, his profile accuarate, what he desires real, and we have a commitment one of "wait and see when we meet" and one of "we are in a form of relationship that being neither is dating anyone else nor sleeping with.

So, on line dating can do wonders if we know the pitfalls and what to be wary of and you can find someone whom you never believed existed on such sites, it does happen.

Be open minded, treat it as a first step for dating, i suggest always coffee, no immediate drinks or dinner and don't let them know where you live.

You can pick up what a person is like in 3 minutes and ascertain if you want that second date, but you can bring yourself back out into the dating world and be ready and if your really lucky like me, you can find a man that you want to and really want to lust over and be with and i look forward to my future journey.

I wrote all of this as i am sure some see this form of dating as na forget it because, or what should i agree to, should i have coffee or dinner, do i give my details out, what type of men are on there, etc.

And, i hope that this little insight helps.