im a mistress, and i need advice!

**rockstar90** · 03-23-2008 10:51 PM

I'm bringing this thread up, and ask that you read page (2) started by a new Threader.

Sometimes, all people need is a little support, and I hope that the threader ( new threader) comes back to read, exactly that.

WH's Member's Support.

CW

I have been seeing this guy for about a year now, and when we first started dating i knew he was married and i had a really hard time dealing with it so after five months i said i was done with the bs, then instantly he said he would divorce his wife and he has gone through with it but in his past he cheated on his wife for 3 out of the five years they were together. not with me but with more than one girl (which he lied to me about as well). his wife for about the 10 years they were dating before the marrige still to this day doesnt have a clue what had gone on in his past and completly trusted him? i have also heard from his close friends he had always been a regular at strip clubs, although he has seemed to change a lot, i dont know? should i be worried for our future? please help!?!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-23-2008 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by rockstar90

I have been seeing this guy for about a year now, and when we first started dating i knew he was married and i had a really hard time dealing with it so after five months i said i was done with the bs, then instantly he said he would divorce his wife and he has gone through with it but in his past he cheated on his wife for 3 out of the five years they were together. not with me but with more than one girl (which he lied to me about as well). his wife for about the 10 years they were dating before the marrige still to this day doesnt have a clue what had gone on in his past and completly trusted him? i have also heard from his close friends he had always been a regular at strip clubs, although he has seemed to change a lot, i dont know? should i be worried for our future? please help!?!

I don't know what part of that word "mistress" i don't like, but sounds degrading. I would say that you were anyway, but not now.

I am curious as to why you think the wife didn't know and trusted him, do you know here, or did he say this and when. How you established that he had affairs for 3 of 5 years of that marriage?

Would there be a hidden clue that one of "his" friends, has told you about strip clubs?

**rockstar90** · 03-24-2008 12:05 PM

well i know he was cheating on his wife because i had heard stories and eventually he told me after about months of lying to me about it as well. i also know that his wife was completly in the dark because i had called her one night when my boyfriend and i had got into a huge fight, and i felt extremly guilty so i told her everything i knew and she was completly in shock and had no clue that anything was ever going on and that he had promised her that there was no one else.

**Fallen1** · 03-24-2008 12:29 PM

He's already proven to be a liar and a repeat cheater. Do you really think that with you knowing his past behavior that you will be able to trust that he won't cheat on you? I think you need to re-think having a future with this man.

kaylar · 03-24-2008 12:44 PM

Rockstar, get a good divorce lawyer from now.
This guy will cheat on you and probably is
cheating on you as I type.

There are certain men who need to be married
to commit adultery; he's one of them.

Now this is a rule of thumb;

NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING A HUSBAND TELLS YOU
ABOUT HIS WIFE.

Men will tell their gal that their wife is
in a Mental Institution when in fact she
is receiving the Nobel Prize for Physics.

They will tell you that they are separated
from their wives, until you find out they
went away, as usual on that three week cruise.

This fellow may have been dumped by his wife
years ago.

I can think of a chap whose wife divorced him
twenty years ago who still claims he's married
to her.

Unless you know FOR A FACT what has happened,
i.e. saw the actual divorce petition, read the
actual transcript, you have no idea what went
on.

Secondly;

Another rule;

A MAN WHO CHEATS ON HIS WIFE WITH YOU WILL
CHEAT ON YOU

I have done divorces, (three so far!) for one
particular man.

When I first met him he was involved with X
but married to A. After the divorce, he married
X and cheated on her with Y.

After X divorced him, he married Y and cheated
on her with Z.

Y divorced him, and Z wants to marry him.

The interesting thing, right now, he's pretty
faithful to Z, (whose entire life consists of
running behind him.)

I know that if Z is ****** enough to marry him
I have a divorce coming in just under two years.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 03-24-2008 02:13 PM

Originally Posted by rockstar90

well i know he was cheating on his wife because i had heard stories and eventually he told me after about months of lying to me about it as well. i also know that his wife was completly in the dark because i had called her one night when my boyfriend and i had got into a huge fight, and i felt extremly guilty so i told her everything i knew and she was completly in shock and had no clue that anything was ever going on and that he had promised her that there was no one else.

Perhaps then as you told her, that's why he went through with the Divorce ie) he didn't, she did once they spoke about it and he's making you actually think that he did it, and for you...

I agree with Fallen1, time to go.

If he promised her, that there was no one else and he had affairs with others before you, then you, no point hanging around and marrying him to then yourself have to get a divorce for the exact same reason...

**just4me** · 03-25-2008 09:36 AM

I will have to say I agree with everything thats been said here. I have been in the same boat. I am currently getting out of a relationship with a married man who I spent 3 years with. He cheated on his wife before me, then with me and even cheated on me with another lady. Its a cycle for them. My guess is they love that feeling. It hurts very badly to have to leave him behind, but I know its whats best for me. Married men manipulate to get what they want. And the one I was involved with was very hurtful...43 years old, acts like he's still a horny little teenager.

Run away darlin. Keep going away from him and find someone who will give you what you deserve. Thats what I'm doing.

Much love and happiness to you..

**ShyGirl920** · 03-28-2008 11:44 AM

I agree with everyone here. Get out now whiole you still can. If he cheated on you with his own wife then he will do the same to you and he will tell you the same lies that he told his wife. Well, actually he already started to lie to you. Is this the life and future that you want? I hope not.

I know it may be hard but you have to leave this guy alone. I have a friend who left her husband to be with another man and the guy left his wife to be with her. They moved in together and were living a happy life until out of no where he decided to leave her and go back to his wife. Now she is in pain and hurting because she thought that this guy loved her.

So do yourself a favor and end it now before you get the short end of the stick too.

**courtney6464** · 03-31-2008 01:47 PM

Leave him now! He did it to her, he will do it to you. You know the right thing to do is leave him, you just need someone to tell you that you are doing the right thing. And yes you are, if you leave now.
This guy is "a player" and he is playing you the same way he does his wife. I know that is harsh but I wish someone had told me how it was before the heartbreak. (and no, your situation is not any diffrent, I dont need to know the details of how nice he is to you and all the great things he does for you, he laughs to himself every time you fall for it)
I really hope every thing works out for you. and im sorry you are going through this, you dont deserve it. If he loves you, leave him and he will come back a diffrent person and you will know if he is really diffrent. (dont make it easy for him)

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-10-2008 03:43 PM

"If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you it's yours if it doesn't it never was"....

Thread: im a mistress, and i need advice!

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im a mistress, and i need advice!

Been there, done that

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