the boy i'm dating is attractive to a different type of women...

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-13-2008 07:14 PM

Originally Posted by keasrt

well, thats the thing...I do think that if we eventually would get married he WOULD be all over the internet talking to amputees etc. I think more than an attraction is a part of him. He has actually already dated 5 diff amputee women...So eventually I think she wants to end up with one. He told me this is something he's dealt with since he was a kid. I dont' judge him I just regret that when I came to find out about this I was tooo emotionally involved to just walk away, and ofcourse I have that little thread of hope that he'll realize that our relationship is more important than that "attraction" and will get over it...but that prob wont happen I just never dealt w/ anything like this before. I don't even know what to think. One thing is fo sho...i'm not gonna play any dress up like an amputee games with him just to make him happy...lol

I don't know if this has anything to do with anything? But, as a kid, i had the softest heart got me into real trouble with girls wanting to beat the **** out of me, because they saw me as sticking up for nerds, that being, a guy with a hole in his heart, or a girl covered with exsma.

Maybe, he had a soft spot in his childhood for someone who had lost a limb, or maybe he has a great heart and feels sorry for those type of people, in another words, there is a reason why he is attracted to those types of persons, yet he is attracted to you?

So, i have stated this purely as maybe to gage your answer and future, ask him why this is a preference to him, did he know of someone when he was young that touched his heart type of thing.

It is just that "he has told me this is something that he has dealt with as a kid".

If this becomes his soul reason, then maybe he can join a club that he can volunteer at and therefore, this may make the world of difference for the "something" that he is trying to continue to do.

Either way, i think by posing that question and perhaps the above suggestion, you may find the answer you personally are looking for.

CW

**ChelseaRenee** · 04-13-2008 08:28 PM

Originally Posted by Little

I'll take the blame; I wasn't thinking when I said transVESTite ... I should've paid attention to that Latin root. What is it you call a person with a woman's body and a penis? Popularly, a transvestite, but as you pointed out, that's wrong.
I don't know why you've singled out Anon to attack. You give **** good advice when you can stand to leave him alone; you said yourself you don't want to talk to him.

OP: I think you have to decide how much you can take of this fetish your man has. Some people with fetishes are really out in left field and some just like to think about it. It's all a question of perception; yours AND his.

A man who pretends to be a woman? I honestly don't know. And I haven't singled him out to attack him, anymore than he's done that to everyone here with a differing opinion. I have never once made a personal attack against him, it's always been in the same vain as the debate going on. But fair enough, I won't talk to him anymore. I'm just as stubborn and opinionated as he is, so it's hard not to say something when he's blatantly wrong, but that's just something I'll have to deal with. I'm over it, so please let's just forget it. Back on topic.

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 04-14-2008 04:34 AM

The whole transvestite/transexual thing is pretty irrelevent to the point I was making really (anyway I still consider a post-op female transexual as a man....). Let me change 'tranvestite' for 'children'. Some men like to have or fantasize about sex with children, does that make it the norm?

Chelsea, if you were observant, you'd have seen that both times I asserted that men liked slim women I used a proviso: "basically all" "most men", which also makes it completely irrelevent that there are a few fatty paddlers out there. The exceptions that prove the rule. I'm talking about TRENDS. I may not be able to speak for everyone, but I can speak for every man I've met and discussed the issue with... When men wind up with fat birds, it's not because the cellulite and rolls of blubber turn them on, it's because they look past physical beauty (or lack thereof) at the personality, which is essentially the most crucial attribute of a woman. Or, because on the whole "pretty girls" are stuck up little princesses who you couldn't put up with outside the bedroom.

Also, some men like fat women because they distrust women and have more faith that they won't (be able to) cheat on them.

As for me saying people with other opinions are 100% wrong; if you say that men prefer fat women, then yes, you are a 100% wrong. Who's going to be right? A man? Or a woman who's been told she's beautiful so's as not to hurt her feelings/get her into bed.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-14-2008 04:48 AM

ANONYMOUSWHITEFEMALE

When men wind up with fat birds, it's not because the cellulite and rolls of blubber turn them on, it's because they look past physical beauty (or lack thereof) at the personality, which is essentially the most crucial attribute of a woman. Or, because on the whole "pretty girls" are stuck up little princesses who you couldn't put up with outside the bedroom

.

Hun there is one thing that has urked me from the begining of my time, "birds", i hate that saying sorry, but really i'm a bird? HOWEVER, i agree men can look past anything if they find the woman "beautiful as a person, in her soul and find a true connection" then what ever they look like is irrelevant but MOST woman regardless of their size, if they are a WOMAN, will actually look after themselves.. I have seen some great women in larger sizes and think wow, your make - up, hair, etc looks good and they state " i love my ***, it's big and beautiful and my **** are bigger and i think "GO GIRL"... And look at Paris Hilton " ahhhhhh" i love me who do you love?" true some are up themselves big time.....

Just saying okay???? !!!!!!

CW

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 04-14-2008 05:36 AM

Heheh, my girlfriend hates the expression "bird" too....

Well, I grew up with it, and I don't mean it to be offensive, so in my eyes it's not.

My feminist girlfriend sees it as belittling, and that women are something to be caged and lose their freedom as a pet, wheras I see it as a singing thing of beauty, free in the truest sense.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-14-2008 05:53 AM

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

Heheh, my girlfriend hates the expression "bird" too....

Well, I grew up with it, and I don't mean it to be offensive, so in my eyes it's not.

My feminist girlfriend sees it as belittling, and that women are something to be caged and lose their freedom as a pet, wheras I see it as a singing thing of beauty, free in the truest sense.

Ah, so "set those wings free, like a bird" okay that's shadows a different light.

Yep i can see that!!!

Have you ever read "Johnathon Silver"? I read that once, it's a seagul and well the most enlightening thing i have ever read!

If i am correct, " no nationalities " thing, your English?

Gee, i was told "well your relaxed" last night and i'm thinking huh?

Until i googled, that little google thing, and i realised what he was saying....

Different words ah for different people...

I like your virgin, sorry, version..... Okay i will accept bird now...

It kind of has a new way of thinking....

Still, " i will change my thoughts, not mind" you know that smoking thing..... lol.

CW

**ChelseaRenee** · 04-14-2008 12:35 PM

Originally Posted by anonymouswhitefemale

The whole transvestite/transexual thing is pretty irrelevent to the point I was making really (anyway I still consider a post-op female transexual as a man....). Let me change 'tranvestite' for 'children'. Some men like to have or fantasize about sex with children, does that make it the norm?

Chelsea, if you were observant, you'd have seen that both times I asserted that men liked slim women I used a proviso: "basically all" "most men", which also makes it completely irrelevent that there are a few fatty paddlers out there. The exceptions that prove the rule. I'm talking about TRENDS. I may not be able to speak for everyone, but I can speak for every man I've met and discussed the issue with... When men wind up with fat birds, it's not because the cellulite and rolls of blubber turn them on, it's because they look past physical beauty (or lack thereof) at the personality, which is essentially the most crucial attribute of a woman. Or, because on the whole "pretty girls" are stuck up little princesses who you couldn't put up with outside the bedroom.

Also, some men like fat women because they distrust women and have more faith that they won't (be able to) cheat on them.

As for me saying people with other opinions are 100% wrong; if you say that men prefer fat women, then yes, you are a 100% wrong. Who's going to be right? A man? Or a woman who's been told she's beautiful so's as not to hurt her feelings/get her into bed.

I never said men preffered fat girls. My point was that some care, some don't, and that you've not spoken to every man everywhere so you have no more an idea than I do. And if you're saying I'm "that woman" you're wrong. I'm 5'8 and 160, so sure, I may be fat to you. But I highly doubt most people would think that. Not that it would matter if I was. And I wasn't just talking about your opinion of fat people, I was talking about anyone with a differing opinion than yours. You just can't stand it. Are you that angry? Do you just feel it's your right and mission in life to right all the wrong opinions we women hold? Do you dislike women THAT much? Cuz it's really, REALLY not your job. At all.

Anyway, I think this board should be locked. It's getting no where, and everyone's just fighting over dumb ****, which is not the point of this site. It's here to help women. Not waste time on people talking about ****** sh*t, which we're all guilty of.

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 04-14-2008 04:14 PM

Nope, I've never read Johnathon Silver and yes, I'm English.