Thread: Is he controlling, or am I over thinking it?

Originally Posted by BreeLee

You bring up amazing points.
There are reasons. he's told me them, but it's just tough for me.
I have medical issues. Had major surgery, was out of school for awhile, so Dani, was the only one that really cared about me. Yeah, she may be blunt, rude, and not as sheltered maybe. She had a tough life. She has issues. She was never mean to me, though. If she ever upset me, we would both cry about it. I really care about her. He's mad at her, because she broke my trust, because she was tricked, and I mis interpreted her. My family is mad at her. I'm allowed to talk to her, through my parents by the way. I'm 18. He meant by check with them, ask if I'm talking with her, so that he'll know. i wouldn't even post here, but my mom took my boy friends side. She thinks it's good that i'm not talking to dani, but her reason is totally irreverent. She's not THAT bad. We're kinda opposite, but so what. We kept each other in balance. Now, she has no one. I was the one who helped her thought her control issues with her boy friend, and when I had to ignore her, they broke up. i feel awful. I want to apologize so bad. I understand, that he doesn't want me to get hurt, but he should at least let me make the choice, and see. It's not like she's gonna hurt me. I don't know, it's just I've never seen him act that way, since today. I think he was actually mad at me, because I wouldn't agree, I was too stubborn he said. I know, he's only looking out for me, but he doesn't understand that it's actually hurting me, i'd rather make the mistake, and apologize to him, then be forced to not speak to her. I'm just worried, I don't want him mad at me, and i know he'll never budge on letting me be her friend.. =/

Firstly, you should post here. When you have feelings that you want to share, get opinions, one thing you have to i believe, learn is to take what you want from them, not as gospil so to speak but what seems relevant. So good for you

Secondly, she obviously from their minds is a "controlling person" and their fear may be to sway you the wrong way, age also makes adults scared, he may be frightened just on the level of her swaying your thoughts, perhaps even about him.

As for his request.. Well, he has to request, babe, i don't want you to because of this reason... not, you "can't"..

I understood the "checking with the parents thing", and as they are sided with his thoughts, he feels that he can and be told the truth.

It would truly hurt him, be disrespectful if you went against his wishes and non-trusting in a relationship, hense why he probably turned over.

Gee, i was like you at that age. But, but....

You see, a little bird who broke their wind and you helped her mend it.. You feel once you flew the nest, she fell out of the tree..

Not the case, sweet. She made her own decisions what happened happened.

Perhaps ask for a compromise... Ask if you can at least communicate via a phone, when he's around, to keep in touch, not to go out with her or hang out but you feel a soul connection there and it's killing you, point out his best mate and if that was broken, because you said, i don't want you to speak or see him anymore, how he would feel.

Communication is everything....

Everything.

You also, may not have been wrong with your "interpretation" at the time with her... if she has issues, she will always, you can't save the world, only try, (like me, lol)...

CW