I really need some advice as to what I should do. I've known this guy for 2 years. The first year we lived in the same state and he said he just wanted to be friends. He was letting his relationship take its course because he was unhappy but the woman was still holding on. He told me he and his ex only got together out of convenience and because they both were lonely. He stated he always chose the wrong women-so this time he would be friends with someone first, then date them and marry them. I got tired of waiting and arguing with him about being in a relationship. He said I was a n ongoing roller coaster and was tired of arguing. So I decided to move back to my home state. He called saying he really missed me and wish I had of stayed and that things would've changed. So we got back on good terms and I visited him in April 2008. He was excited to see me and told me he wished I lived there and that I should move back. I told him I was already considering movig back. So we continued calling each other and he helped me look for apartments in his state. He even volunteered to help me move my stuff into my apartment. So in June I moved and he didn't help me move because of an emergency at his job. He has been very distant since I've been back and I've seen him once in 3 weeks. At his house I saw a father's day card laying face down-which was from his ex saying she wanted to grow old with him, etc, etc... He stopped calling and when I ask him if he's seeing someone he gets upset and won't answer me or return my calls. Please let me know your view on this!

People have all the good intentions in the world. But they can also change their mind like the wind.

He was lonely, he already told you what type of person he was, one whom stays through lonliness and so, he needed you to move back.

I suspect, personally however, that he is not over his ex at all.

And, has / is saying doing the same things with her.

As such, there is no emotions at all with him, pertaining to you..

If she ignores him over a few weeks, he'll ring you and be nice again.

Time to just simply let go. He is not a confident man, and does not know what he wants in life.

Your only going to get hurt.

Thanks -because I've been debating moving on or not. I have this feeling he doesn't know what he wants and that he's still seeing his ex because he always pulls a disappearing act and treats me like I don't exist for a while and then comes back. I feel he wants to keep me holding on, which is why he never answers my question of him seeing other people.

My uncle suggests I give him an ultimatum of ending his other affair within 2 months or moving on forever and sticking to my ultimatum. I still have strong feelings for him-what do you think?

Well, i understand you still have feelings for him... But giving someone an ultimatum, in a marriage is perhaps a fair call, but in a relationship where he is treating you wrongly.

I wouldn't give him anything.

I would just ignore him and find someone who is going to treat you right.

Thing is, "his other affair"..... So, what you will marry him one day and he'll actually have one?

I think your worth more than that.

He's ignoring you... Why would you want to give him 5 minutes when he feels like it?

Ignore him.

And, when he doesn't like it, watch how he contacts you again.

Do you want to be a "friend's with benefits"?

what is it you really want? do you want to be with someone you have to give an ultimatum to?

Agreed with Chandler's and NO1....

Sometimes we have the strongest feelings and chemistry for someone who is the worst possible person for us. The chemistry happens for those who answer our deep desire to re-enact, to make up for another relationship, confirm that we deserve to be treated like .