I'm 18 and have a boyfriend of 6 months. Things have been rough lately but we're getting through. The thing about my boyfriend though, is that he is a very sexual person and not so emotional. This has caused our relationship to become extremely physical and I feel as if I am missing out on some of the emotional needs I may have (I suppose you could call these needs a little romance?).

Anyway, I've recently started spending time with a guy I used to have a thing with about a year ago. We're just friends but I can tell that he wants more. When I'm with him I can't help but feel like he is giving me all the things my boyfriend isn't. I love my boyfriend and don't want to hurt him, but at the same time I feel like I need more, and this other guy could give it to me.

In addition, I'm going to university in 6 weeks and neither my boyfriend nor this other guy are joining me. Also, my boyfriend and I have planned to break up when we move away since the long distance thing won't work for us. I know its only six weeks but I really want to enjoy it to the fullest. Should I stay with my boyfriend, completely faithful? Should I stay with my boyfriend and dodge around behind his back for the next 6 weeks? Or should I break up with my boyfriend and have a six week fling with this other guy?

Advice pleeeeeease...

Mmmm.. Well if you have both decided to break up due to distance, then it's not a strong relationship anyway.

I also tend to think that a guy without putting any romance into a relationship is not smitten by that person, therefore, just flys by so to speak and for you, it just feels sexual but with friendship perhaps, and off course feelings.

This other guy, may change like the wind once you commence your flirt fest, remember that. Guys can be what ever we want them to be, in order to gain what ever they desire as the end result.

You may have discussed certain things with him even.. Or, simply he was like that last time you went out with him, i don't know.

Personally, if you are thinking in this direction, then you have to consider that your young, obviously not in love enough either of you, to try to see if long distance can work, and you should enjoy your life, not try to make it enjoyable for someone else, out of guilt...

Do what your heart is telling you to do, your inner self.

And if you decide that your not in love with your boyfriend and it's seriously going to end in 6 weeks, that has been decided, then just tell him you want to end it now, as you want to get used to that feeling before you leave.

You don't have to go into any details.

But, again remember, if you do like him and you may be able to turn things around whilst away, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

CW

Break it off with your boyfriend and date the other guy.

He's not giving you what you want, he sounds like me when I was 18. Not really ready for a relationship but sure liked the sex. This other guy might have what you need you owe it to yourself to find out. But you owe it to your boyfriend to break-up off before you do, it wasn't going to last anyways.

Good luck and have fun at college.

Break up with man #1 and go for man #2. You're only young once.

You really do need to break up with them though, not just play away.

Break up with him and spend time with the other guy before you go.

If you break up you can't be labeled as a cheater.

Dump the boyfriend and date the other guy. But don't jump into anything else unless your both ready.

Oh wow, thanks for the replies. There seems to be a unanimous consensus that I should just dump my boyfriend and move on.

Well, maybe I should have checked this forum before going out last night because I did what I never thought I would do. I cheated. Nothing serious, clothes stayed on and everything, but still, a cheat is a cheat. Needless to say, I feel extremely guilty today. Although I don't really regret it, it seems to complicate things even more. I realize there are no excuses for cheating and up until this point I never would have thought I would even be able to do it. I hate hurting people. But I guess you dont realize how easy it is until your in a situation where it seems like there is no other choice.

Obviously, I could have broken up with the boyfriend before letting this happen. But I think one of the main reasons I let it happen is because I feel as if I have been cheated throughout most of our relationship. He always had the upper hand and I feel as if I have been deflated of all strength. I guess cheating on him, although I dont plan on ever telling him about it, made me feel like I had the upper hand for a while.

It's wrong, and I know I can't blame my boyfriend for this. It is in no way his fault, but I know that had he treated me better and made me feel more secure within our relationship, this would have never happened.

I think I know the answer to this, but what do I do now? I've dug myself into a hole, and cannot erase time, but I how do I get out of this with as minimal pain for both of us as possible? I spoke to a friend and his advice was to break up with the boyfriend immediatley. Whether I tell him about the hook up or not, I can't continue to lie to him. Clearly the relationship is not working if it pushed me to someone else, so it makes sense to break up. Also, it will give me time to get used to the idea before going off to school and having to deal with first week orientation in a sulk from missing him.

I'm not a bad person, I just did a bad thing. I know I need to break up with him, but I guess no break up is easy. No matter how obvious it is. I'm going to miss him and be sad, I just can't continue to lie.

If you break up with your current boyfriend - no need to mention the cheating, then is is only a slight matter of timing. I wouldn't stress over it, you were not married, and your "cheating" sounds like it was somewhat limited.