http://www.womens-health.com/boards/ Discussions on all types of addictions, anxiety, depression, spirituality, and that horrible stress. en Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:27:16 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.womens-health.com/boards/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.womens-health.com/boards/ http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19951-depression-hitting-relationship-hard.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 21:23:51 GMT Since I've been diagnosed as "depressed" things in my life have their ups and downs. Therapy is slowly bringing the "real me" out. However, since I am depressed, my boyfriend has recently become depressed. His dad has cancer, but both of us being depressed is making it really hard to be cheery. On top of that his mom is starting to give me panic attacks. I say that because she doesn't keep her mouth shut. She talks and talks and talks and talks. And if you're not hanging on every word she says she gets upset.

She has affected my boyfriend sooo much that he doesn't even want to see her anymore. She constantly talks about herself, and doesn't even asks how we are doing. I'm getting to a point where I don't want to be anywhere near her. I know that my boyfriend is the one that has to work out these issues... but it's affecting me too. Because after he talks to her he's even more depressed and has panic attacks. And I don't know what to do or say at that point. ]]> Mental Health yellowpiXi3 http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19951-depression-hitting-relationship-hard.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19940-welcome-therapy.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:21:41 GMT I have decided to meet with a therapist. I thought about it in the past but with all the stress and probably deeply hidden issues I have lying in wait somewhere, I thought it might be a good time before I get into another relationship/start dating again.

Can someone tell me your thoughts/experiences with therapy?

What you liked/didn't like about your therapist?

If you thought it was helpful, etc?

How exactly does it work when you go in the first few times? (I've only seen it on tv)

Thanks!! ]]> Mental Health kygirl http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19940-welcome-therapy.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19931-could-acting-like-lady-improve-womens-health.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:12:56 GMT I was never raised to be a lady. I was never encouraged towards feminine characteristics. My parents sort of just let me figure things out for myself. I thought (maybe still think) that this was a good thing, but the truth is that I am just not happy at all.

Two years ago, I met a friend online that I've been talking to about life in general. He and I argue quite a bit, though most of this is due to my argumentative, y nature. I don't know what's up with me, but I always feel like I have to attack everything and that I'm competing with everyone.

At any rate, when he was angry with me today, he told me that one of the "grossest things" about me is that I "act like a man."

Now, I don't try to act like a man, or try not to act like a man. I just act like myself.

But sometimes I wonder...I feel like women are being discouraged from feminine qualities. I know what without thinking about it, I get angry every time someone points out feminine characteristics in some female leader, even if they are being positive in pointing out these characteristics. I guess subconsciously, I must view stereotypically feminine qualities as a weakness.

Consciously, my explanation to myself for my negative reaction towards people commenting on feminine qualities in women has been that we shouldn't have to be masculine or feminine -- we should just be ourselves, no matter which gender we are.

However, it's come to my attention that there are reasons certain traits are stereotypically masculine or feminine, and that certain traits are far more likely to be found in greater quantities in women or men.

The easy answer for me would be to just say I am being myself, and if anyone doesn't like that, then they aren't a true friend. But I wonder if my growing up with such hostility towards feminine traits has led me to suppress certain qualities of my character that might have developped properly, had I not been predisposed to hate those attributes in myself.

At the end of the day, I'm not happy, and while what my friend said may sound a little harsh, he said the words in anger, and I trust his ability to see people for who they are far more than I do my own. ]]> Mental Health thecatlady http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19931-could-acting-like-lady-improve-womens-health.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19889-chronically-ill-family-member.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:55:53 GMT Hi, I'm new and this is my first post. I really need some encouragement:(. My uncle has a chronic illness that's stressing out my whole family. I'm extremely close to my uncle and it makes me angry and sad that he's so sick. I hate feeling helpless, but I know there's nothing I can do to heal him. I'm struggling just to be strong for him and for the rest of my family, but I'm starting to feel like a liar. It's getting harder and harder to laugh when he jokes about dying, because I know he's not entirely joking.

I just started college and it's hard to concentrate on school when I'm so worried about this. I love my uncle tremendously, but I can hardly stand to spend time with him sometimes because I hate to see him so sick.
Please help! I don't want to stress my family even more by telling the that this is bothering me so much, but I don't know what to do anymore. ]]> Mental Health brianna http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19889-chronically-ill-family-member.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19844-dealing-pmdd-help.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:56:23 GMT Hi, i am 27 and married with 3 children. I have suffered with what i thought was depression since i was 18 but even when the doctors said i had depression i knew deep down it was something else and over the past few months i have noticed a pattern to my 'bad days' and it only happens for about half of the month and the other half i am not so bad. I thought there must be something to this and researched it and found out i am not alone in the way i feel.
For about a week and a half i feel good, life is great, i love my life, my kids everything but then the following week it starts to not look so good, i start to feel annoyed with things that wouldn't normally annoy me and get upset over the silliest of things. Then after about 5 days the 'b***h' appears, thats what i call her. i just feel awful, my husband can nothing right and when i am having my rants on him i can hear the normal self shouting out you are being irrational, but there is nothing i can do about it. i don't want to be a mum anymore and on the worst days i would rather end it all to get away from this pain! i also start to wonder if the 'bad days' person is just highlighting the problems in my life but then when i am happy i am over the moon with the way my life has turned out.
i really need somebody who knows what i am going through to help me, i need to know that it will not always be like this, if not i just don't know what i can do! my husband and kids do not deserve to live with me, i am doing them no favours being the way i am, i need to know what i can do to better myself.

thanks ]]> Mental Health kellied http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19844-dealing-pmdd-help.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19406-whats-wrong-me.html Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:41:53 GMT For about the last two years some parts of my life have completely turned upside down. It all started with getting pregnant at 21 and having an abortion, a decision I was and still am ok with. I was a full-time student with excellent grades who just stopped attedning classes. Every trimester I register for my classes and really think I'm going to do well and 4 weeks into it I'm not going to any of them and don't know how to get back on the right track. I've lost almost all interest in doing things I once loved to do. I was a social butterfly and now I've lost pretty much all of my friends because I can't even bring myself to pick up the telephone to call them back. The only thing that has remained ok is my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 4 years. He knows nothing about what I'm feeling and I feel so alone and trapped. I lie to everyone about going to school...even so far as to have my boyfriend drop me off at class. (he thinks I'm there and I really sit in the computer lab bc I've missed so many classes I can't attend anymore) I've never been a liar, nor do I want to be. I sleep late every single day. I have absolutly no motivation and thats all I want. I want to be normal again, I want to do the things I love and more importantly I want to have my friends back and finish up my BA. At the rate I'm going now it's looks like none of that is going to happen. Am I depressed???? I just don't know where to begin...this has gone on way too long and I can't live my life like this. Does anyone have any suggestions as to where I start?...and mind you I have tried so many times to wake up early call my friends go to classes...it just all ends up coming back to where I am today. ]]> Mental Health bumblebee2004 http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19406-whats-wrong-me.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19331-am-i-depressed.html Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:21:55 GMT Hi All,

I need some advice. Lately i have been feeling disconnected from everyone around me....even my closest friends. I have a great job, a fantastic boyfriend (although he lives three hrs away) and no health issues.

I cry at strange times, often for no reason, am eating almost constantly and can't concentrate on anything i need to do. The littlest things will make me upset and i can't bring myself to be around people at the moment.

I want to be happy and fun all the time so people don't think i'm a crazy lady but my moods are so all over the place i don't know what they think of me!

Does anyone have any advice? ]]> Mental Health disconnected http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19331-am-i-depressed.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19311-trying-stay-strong-but-ready-break.html Fri, 30 Oct 2009 20:29:24 GMT my mom passed away on oct 15 unexpectedly, I ve became the one that supose to be strong for my dad, my little cousins, aunts/uncles, and grandad. I m supose to keep going to school and stay focused but with all energy I m using to appear like i m okay, and smile and not yell at people, I dont have energy to focus on school work. I m trying to stay strong but I feel at any moment I can lose that control. does anyone have any advice on how to continue stay strong? my mom passed away on oct 15 unexpectedly, I ve became the one that supose to be strong for my dad, my little cousins, aunts/uncles, and grandad. I m supose to keep going to school and stay focused but with all energy I m using to appear like i m okay, and smile and not yell at people, I dont have energy to focus on school work. I m trying to stay strong but I feel at any moment I can lose that control. does anyone have any advice on how to continue stay strong? ]]> Mental Health beckydawn http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19311-trying-stay-strong-but-ready-break.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19300-anhedonia-inability-experience-pleasure.html Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:29:21 GMT In reading psychotherapist, Cherie Byrd's book, Kissing School, I was struck by her discussion of Anhedonia. She defines this as the inability to gain pleasure from normally pleasurable experiences and says this is often considered a componet of depression and that she has found it rampant in western culture.

She says we have been trained to focus on defending ourselves from what we fear and "We cultivate habits of attention that are actually focused on missing what is enjoyable and life affirming, because we're busy making sure that what we don't want isn't showing up."

Byrd says we are so focused on what is wrong the we overpower messages of pleasure and enjoyment, that we lack celebration and appreciation. We may go through the day with everything going well and smoothly without noticing it and when something does go wrong we get worked up and enhance it into a disaster by adding on things from the past and projecting it into the future.

When we become more focused on what is wrong than we are on all that is right we become suspicious when something good does happen. We believe it's too good to be true and start looking for what is wrong or for it to end. She asks, "how can this loveliness be true, or renewing, or lasting, when we're not even letting ourselves experience it fully?"

This is certainly something to think about. ]]> Mental Health WildChild http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19300-anhedonia-inability-experience-pleasure.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19299-i-have-severe-pmdd.html Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:03:01 GMT I have extreme PMDD and really could use some advice and guidance. This is my very first time being involved on any sort of forum so bear with me while I am getting used to how to utilize this tool. I have heard it all....diet, exercise, relaxation techniques....Where do I start??? I am taking Welbutrin for depression but it does not help AT ALL for my PMDD symptoms. Should I switch to something else? Paxil? Prozac? Is there someone out there that can send me a success report on PMDD relief???? Please help! I am losing myself, my husband and my friends! Living with this condiiton for 30 years now is NUTS! I HAVE to take control of it (the PMDD). I will not allow it to control me and my life anymore!!! Please send me some info on what has helped you. Thank you in advance for your help! I have extreme PMDD and really could use some advice and guidance. This is my very first time being involved on any sort of forum so bear with me while I am getting used to how to utilize this tool. I have heard it all....diet, exercise, relaxation techniques....Where do I start??? I am taking Welbutrin for depression but it does not help AT ALL for my PMDD symptoms. Should I switch to something else? Paxil? Prozac? Is there someone out there that can send me a success report on PMDD relief???? Please help! I am losing myself, my husband and my friends! Living with this condiiton for 30 years now is NUTS! I HAVE to take control of it (the PMDD). I will not allow it to control me and my life anymore!!! Please send me some info on what has helped you. Thank you in advance for your help! ]]> Mental Health Tizzy http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19299-i-have-severe-pmdd.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19280-codiene-nightmare.html Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:07:26 GMT I wouldnt call myself an addict, but i'm rather keen[/U]on codiene. I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there that has the same keeness on it? What they think of it? Bad experiences? Etc, anything really. Im interested as I was the pne who 'discovered' it within my group of friends etc, therefore if they wantto know anything about it they will come to me, and lets face it, im no doctor, i only know so much! Thanks:confused: ]]> Mental Health Lauren123 http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19280-codiene-nightmare.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19230-very-depressed-about-ex-bf-dumping-me.html Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:09:01 GMT Okay I think I've mentioned him already a few times in the Lounge..... I dunno why but as much as I'm trying to move on ,I just can't. As much as I try to appear like I'm thinking positive,deep down I feel like a total wreck to be honest.

I am VERY depressed about how acrimonious things turned out last month. We've also been playing music together for the last 3 years,asides from being in a relationship with him for all of 2006, we have tried maintaining a friendship through music. Somehow even our friendship has completely fallen apart late last month. The main dispute was about money.......he got very offended by something I said. I told him he does'nt know how to treat women right and called him a cheapskate. Despite someone's advice to me that I should'nt say anything but continue to 'use' him to play music with....for some reason I felt that was'nt right so I told him straight up about how I felt. Seems like he got extremely offended by what I said.....deleted me off his Myspace and Facebook . No matter how much I try to call him he never picks up the calls. It was only one time 2 weeks ago I finally got him on the phone and sounded like we were making amends. After that however he keeps denying my friend requests on FB.....does'nt answer his calls anymore. I feel like he totally lied to me by saying he was'nt mad at me anymore and now it seems like he wants nothing to do with me altogether.
This has NEVER happened between us before. We've had little arguments here and there but it always ended in making up. Lately I've been realizing I do have feelings for him and regret what I told him that set him off. Another aspect of this is that the last time we ever practiced music together, he made some heavy sexual advances towards me. That day I was'nt in the mood and turned down his request. For some reason I feel he feels rejected by that and now sees there's not even a chance we can have a band together.
I feel so depressed because of all this. I've tried to call him numerous times but he does'nt pick up. I'm starting to feel I should just give up but a part of me does'nt want to let go. I feel I've become obsessed with wanting him back.
I also figure this may be it....it's completely over. I just feel very disappointed and depressed about the music we made. Like all that work we've done just thrown in the garbage. I also feel very angry towards him......he treated other girls the same before. Just use them for sex and when he lost interest or did'nt get any he'd just burn the bridges completely.
A part of me wants to really move on but I don't know where to begin. I wish I can meet a new boyfriend soon but I feel so devastated about losing him. I got really used to him being around alot.

What should I do?:confused: ]]> Mental Health Isabellacat http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19230-very-depressed-about-ex-bf-dumping-me.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19227-insanely-obsessed-boyfriends-ex.html Wed, 28 Oct 2009 05:53:06 GMT I wasn't sure where to post this but I figured there must be something really wrong with my head and that this is ultimately a mental issue!

ok.. so my problem is that i'm insanely obsessed with my bf's ex gf. they got engaged 3 years ago but he broke up with her because of all the lying which according to my bf, always involved an older married guy. so anyway, ive always had this obsession with ex gfs, i always compare myself with the exes (to see who's prettier, slimmer, more successful, etc). i think that im really really insecure in this regard, especially with my bf's ex gf because i know how they almost got married and how he introduced her to his family, how he loved her 13 year old daughter whom he still loves and adores until to now.

im am crazy jealous of her and i dont know why! i stalked her as i did my past bf's exes and found her facebook and saw her pictures for the first time. i really think that she's pretty, very petite, classy, and not to mention very successful. she is irritatingly perfect! i would check her facebook everyday to see what she's been up to or who she's talking to. i would save her pictures in my laptop and make them larger, clearer, brighter, analyzing every detail of her face, trying to find flaws and then comparing myself with her some more. i know it's absolutely insane and im completely out of control!!! i often find myself thinking about her and how much my bf loved her and her kid and it's just driving me nuts! i googled her name several times in different ways, even googled my bf's name and that's when i saw this blog which my bf wrote 3 years ago, where he wrote so many things about her and their relationship, how excited he was to marry her and make them his family, how much he adored the kid and wanted to build a loving relationship with her as her 'step dad'. i saw pictures of them together, poems and letter that he wrote for her, plans about the wedding, the house, everything that i wasnt supposed to see! and then that's where i saw how they were engaged 2 months into the relationship! i hate how i had to discover these things because i couldnt keep myself from finding out things about her and their past relationship and i know that its totally sick but i cant seem to stop!!! i dont know how to stop this madness... i know that she's a thing of his past and i shouldnt worry about her anymore. my bf tells me all the time that he loves me, yet i cant seem to get over the fact that he also loved her this much, or probably even more because we've been dating for a year and he hasnt proposed to me, yet i know how he proposed to this girl after dating her for just 2 months! i would also see sent messages on his phone to the ex's daughter, telling her how much he misses and loves her and that he will always be there for her like a real dad. even this unnecessary closeness with the kid is driving me crazy! i told him once that his closeness with the kid bothers me, but he explained that he is attached to the kid because she didnt do anything wrong and he felt guilty for just disappearing. when he broke up with her mother, he didnt say goodbye to the kid because he didnt know what to tell her. he didnt want to tell her that he broke up with her mom because she's such a big liar, he didnt want to ruin the kid's relationship with her moom. but my bf never stopped loving the kid all these years. he told me that it's different with the ex - that's completely over. yet, even the fact that he still loves the daughter upsets me because whenever i hear the kid's name, i am reminded of how they almost became his family.

i hate myself with a passion!!! this whole obsession with the ex is really messing up with my head and i dont know how to stop! please help! am i crazy??? do i need professional help??? i dont know what to think so that i would stop feeling 'nothing' compared to this amazing girl that he once dated and almost married! aaaaaaaaggggghhhhh!!!! :( ]]> Mental Health sexybabe http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19227-insanely-obsessed-boyfriends-ex.html http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19212-clinical-depression.html Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:50:06 GMT my younger sister is diagnosed with clinical depression for over 1 year, she is on meds, and she also takes panic attacks, as her family we want to do anything to help her, as her meds do not seem to be doing the trick, i have given her loads of information on support groups in her area and said i would go with her if she wants, she says she is ready for this and will call them to morrow, but never does, its always tomorrow. 2 weeks ago she asked her partner of 8 yesrs to move out to give her space, he rented not far so to keep an eye on her. we are at our wits end as a family including her 17 yo daughter who live with my parents, any thoughts woud be appreciated my younger sister is diagnosed with clinical depression for over 1 year, she is on meds, and she also takes panic attacks, as her family we want to do anything to help her, as her meds do not seem to be doing the trick, i have given her loads of information on support groups in her area and said i would go with her if she wants, she says she is ready for this and will call them to morrow, but never does, its always tomorrow. 2 weeks ago she asked her partner of 8 yesrs to move out to give her space, he rented not far so to keep an eye on her. we are at our wits end as a family including her 17 yo daughter who live with my parents, any thoughts woud be appreciated ]]> Mental Health amandag159 http://www.womens-health.com/boards/mental-health/19212-clinical-depression.html