Thread: Urgh- Vent!

Okay, so I haven't mentioned this...but I have two grown step children....that are no longer children and have not been since I met them.

Now, I know I will sound a little like a wicked step-mom to those with untrained ears....but I am really a saint, okay....I have done as much as anybody would for these "kids" and more. I just need to vent.

I just read online a blog from the oldest; a male. He kept his blog private for a while (though I knew where it was, it was not public),...and he has now made it public. I knew what he thought of me, especially at the time he wrote the entry....and it was not good. We were telling him he *finally* had to move out!...and he had to do things when he was told around the house and in preparation for moving, or he would relentlessly get nagged.
Too bad! Well, I expected what he wrote....but then again, I guess you are never prepared fully. He called me names. <sigh> *witch amongst them. *witch was not the worst. I guess I should not have read it because it makes me feel worse toward him and there already is a slight resentment....but now I realize neither of his kids really appreciate me **at all.....I truly did do it just for him....all that I have done for his kids. It certainly makes me want to do less for them, however.

What have I done? Well, I will tell you that when the BF and I moved in together, the oldest had no job (in his early 20's) and had to live with us (in the apartment that was mine before my husband and I met). The youngest, a female (in her early 20's too)- had no "real" job (just part-time low paying) and no place to live. She thought it would be easy to move in with younger friends (in their late teens- like 18-19) who lived with their parents. Well, the ones who let her in only let her stay a week or less each. She moved in with one family member and soon left because she was expected to keep her laundry clean and neat and room neat. She said she was outa there. LOL. She moved in with another family within the family, and they had her packed and moved out to yet another family member in a couple of months...an so on. She cannot be made to understand she has to work and be responsible. It is not within her current understanding. She also has some mental illness and arranged be taken off the pills. So she is unmedicated. She won't take suggestions. She obsesses over "boys" and lost love. It's painful to watch. It is more painful for me personally that she does not really understand that I care about her but can see through her manipulations. She resents me for that.
Back to the son...
When he moved in with us, he did not have his driver's license (which you need here in our area) or a job. He wanted the driver's license and I helped him get it. However, getting a job and keeping one in order to save money to move out was a whole other story! I helped get him into psychotherapy because he was so introverted. He got better with therapy and some meds. thought he took himself off meds. eventually at his own discretion. So, I helped him along....but the job thing and moving out was a long, drawn out process. I had to nag and argue with my husband because he is protective of both of his children, no matter how wrong they are. He finally moved out just two months short of living with us for almost two years.
Now, he is so proud of being on his own. He is doing pretty well and keeping it together financially, for the most part. He is learning!!

I have bought them Christmas presents. I have fixed meals for them. I fed his son for a long time and helped support him financially. I helped him "grow up" and get help (for his mind), which are things he really desperately needed.

I guess I have to realize that these "children" are never going to really love me or appreciate me. Not for a long time. Maybe when they are in their 40's, they might realize something. LOL. I have to be happy with the fact that my husband knows what I have done for them. He really can't avoid knowing. I think he is thankful. <sigh>

Thanks for reading.....