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About LinkBacksmaybe she's in love with, or thinks she is. or has some other feelings for him. not as unusual as you may think. he needs to chat with her and see where she's coming from. wait and it'll only fester and get worse.
creepy cousin
I've been struggling with this issue for sometime now. My husband and I have been married for over 2 years and I keep having difficulty accepting his cousin will always be possessive of him. We met through her (though we never became close friends). She introduced us and then wanted to know more intimate details of our relationship. It didn't stop there. When she continued to direct us that we needed to move near her once we married, I let her know that we will move wherever we find jobs and wherever we are comfortable. She was not happy with my response. She begged for me to "please don't take my cousin away from me." (She would frequently joke that the motive behind introducing us was to get him to move closer.) We stopped talking shortly thereafter (roughly 2 years ago).
I had confronted my husband on the issue at the time and he said that they were never close, they only met a handful of times as children and each was a brief meeting. He was happy with the way I handled it.
She did attend our wedding and wore a white summer dress, and other family members had warned me that she had always been possessive of him but he was oblivious. In my ity, I naturally thought her possessiveness would end because 1.she was married (since he and I married she is now divorced), and 2.she has two very young kids. My husband says he is uncomfortable around her and he knows that I am uncomfortable around her.
We were told that she wouldn't be at a recent family gathering and she was, and family kept coincidentally leaving us in the same room with her. Over the last two years, the other family members kept telling me how upset she was with me. She is 2 years older than him and 1 year older than me. When we saw her at this last gathering, she hugged him longer than others, followed us around the party, and when in the same room she kept walking near him (back and forth). I don't want to be on the defensive and neither does he, but the long hugging was unexpected. What is our best response for dealing with her?
maybe she's in love with, or thinks she is. or has some other feelings for him. not as unusual as you may think. he needs to chat with her and see where she's coming from. wait and it'll only fester and get worse.
I don't think you can do anymore than you are doing.
It is obvious that the family do not want to "split up" family and so simply don't tell you about her attendance in large family gatherings.
If she wore white to your wedding and wanted him to live close by, then he is "obsessed" fantasises over him..
That can be quite scary so I am glad that she doesn't live close, you don't know if she has a disorder of some description that if clicked would result in something horrid.
I think when you see her at functions, try to see it as a teenage girl with a crush on your husband, I am more concerned that something sinister would occur if you shut her out and kept moving around so she couldn't get close.
Bit scary...
Have a talk to the family and see if this has happened with men in general in her life, including her ex-husband, it may just be that she is this way all round, if not, then as i said, i would tread carefully..
Something about a woman dressing in white on someone's wedding day, worries me.
CW
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
I say, stay the heck away from her. Anyone who is that outwardly unstable is subject to doing something crazy. I could see her trying to "take you out of the picture". Then the whole family would say..."well (crazy cousin) she always did have a thing for (your husband) but we didn't see this coming".
In the words of Jenny in the movie "Forrest Gump"...I'll say, "RUN FORREST RUN!!!"
That chick is nutso!
My boyfriend has a woman that is stalking him and she does things like this... I reccomend reading a book entitled Obsessive Love by Susan Forward. It may help you understand what you are dealing with and give you ideas of how to handle it. Right now we are in the process of moving to yet another city because of this woman. You are on a long hard road and with this I wish you luck.
Thread is two years old. Stick to current stuff or start your own thread please.
Closed.
We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer
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