Thread: Any advice please?!! Sister-in-law moved in 2 months ago

Originally Posted by california

Two months ago my sister-in-law's house was foreclosed upon. She and her 20 year old daughter had nowhere to go and we let them stay with us. She has not gotten a job and I do not think she has saved any money from the 2-3 cleaning jobs she has each week. I feel that as long as she has gas and cigarette money she is content. How can I approach her about getting a real job (or two) and doing the cleaning jobs on the side? I am feeling totally taken advantage of.

If the house was fore-closed upon then that's an extremely "low" feeling to have... Kind of lost the lot.. Security, safety, my home.. I am a Real Estate Agent, I deal with this all the time, so regardless if she is lazy, and that way in-clined to not particularly have visions, or stability that would have hit her hard irrespective.

You say that she has a 20 year old daughter... But you are referring to which one? regarding jobs. At the end of the day both should be working and both should be contributing not one of the other.

I also imagine, that if her daughter is 20, that that was the "family home?", husband left, they continued the Mortgage, probably some time ago and now it's gone... Due to probably mis management of money and not enough work and consequently debt to the hilt, therefore, their fault I am not standing up for them..

I am wondering if they feel low, real low and can't get their head around doing anything... It's all gone.

You need to set rules, I suspect you felt sorry for them and therefore offered the accomodation, etc, but 8 weeks later it has got out of hand as neither contribute financially and probably not much other wise as well.

You need to tell them both, well it's time now, let me help you get your lives back... We need to work out a few things so we can do this off course, including contributing to finances, this has been hard on me but I wouldn't have had it any other way.

But, let's look together in the paper for jobs, internet and help you in that fashion because I've worked it out with food etc, we probably need an additionl x y z into the household funds...

What sort of work should we look at.

In-otherwords, your telling them it's become tough, you are supporting them and your letting them know that the time has come or else you will suffer and your doing it nicely.

CW

PS: Do they contribute around the house? Are you married, kids?