Thread: His rural traditional Chinese family...hates me

I am currently seeing someone who was a good friend of mine for a few years. He's Chinese from New York, and is very assimilated to American culture (I'm white and born in the US). I recently met his family, and his parents don't speak much English. They were generally polite, but my boyfriend told me some of the things they said about me. What they said was so bad I'm not even comfortable repeating it here. They are from rural China, and refuse to acknowledge American culture. They look down on my ethnicity, don't make any effort to get to know me, and when I try to speak Chinese to them, they laugh. My boyfriend has a very difficult and negative relationship with them to begin with, but I really am not thrilled at the idea of becoming part of a family like this.
The really unfortunate thing in this is that he and I are very much compatible. We have similar views on things, know each other very well, have fun together, have mutual friends, know each other in a financial sense, and rarely disagree on anything. He loves to do the little things, loves to cook, and is a great listener.
I am really in a tough spot. I love every minute that I spend with him, but I just don't think I'm compatible with his family. Thoughts?

Oh honey! Been there done that! That's a hard one. I dated a guy for quite a few years that was of the Mexican persuasion with a very traditiona family. His step mom, even though she TAUGHT English to spanish speakers, would refuse to speak English around me. It was a constant battle as she would say some pretty cruel things and try to turn my b/f against me. I don't really have too much advice as the b/f was very abusive so it was never a good relationship to start, but I WILL say that if he is worth it to you than frankly screw what his parents think! It's so funny to me that they are sooooo traditional and yet their sons/daughters are American to the core for the most part. Kind of ironic huh? But yes, I would not let that get too much in the way if you really care for him. Even couples with the same ethnicity have the same problems with the in'laws.... usually though, the insults are in a language you can understand and really be pissed at!!! LOL! Good luck!!!!