hello all !

I am a new member, and I am glad I have chanced upon this website where women unite ) and discuss issues that makes and breaks us ...

My daughter is 5 years old, and sadly her father had fled from the time I have told him that I was pregnant. My daughet & I are doing well now, and my family have helped me create a loving home for her. Now my concern is telling my daughter the real deal regarding his father. She calls my father daddy so she has a concept of a father. Although, now in school they have started to learn about families - a mum, a dad, and children. I know sooner than I had hoped for I would have to explain to her our situation. But how do I begin to tell her that her where her father is, and when should I start? She is only 5 years old, would this be the right age to briefly let her know that her real father is not with us and that our family is different than that of what they teach them in school?

Hopefully someone out there can shed some light on this .... I have so many questions running in my mind but my ability to type now is overwhlemed with all these concerns springing in my mind one after the other ...

HELP please ....

Thanks so much for reading !

X

Welcome to the forum not-so-invinsible.

I would imagine, if you attended the school, and spoke to all the Mother's of the other children there, you would find a few in a simular situation as you are.

I don't think you should tell her that your family is " different " , but I understand if they have father's nights, etc, it will be hard.

I think that she should call your dad , Pop and you should slowly re-introduce her to him as your father, her grandfather, because grandparents are sooo special to children... And, to guide her when she is older, she will think but i always thought?

Plus, if you are going to mention her father to her, she will know off course, that your father therefore, is not hers...

It's difficult..

I would say to her, your "Daddy is away - along way away" and maybe one day you will meet him...

If you say any more, she may start questioning " was it my fault? " etc, there is time to explain more I think, as she gets older.

And, then maybe say your father, " that is your grandpa, or pop, or how ever you want to refer to him, and he loves you very very much, as if you were his little girl, he's also my daddy, so that's special, can you say pop or do you want to say grandaddy? He needs a special name now " and leave it at that.

I think all she needs to know is that he loves her, he's a daddy, And, that she has another Daddy who is a long way away and can't visit or be there.

That's just my opinion.

CW

HI ...not so invisable....I think you may be shocked at how many familys are "diffrent"
I bet there are as many single parent fams as "normal" ones, and yes fathers day or mothers day can be a lil nervous for you but I bet if your father goes it will be just as good...I wouldnt worry about the talk youll know when its time. And at a young age I wouldnt get to detailed in why. Sometimes keeping it simple is the best ....in my opinion