Forum:

Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: my daughter's family is different ...

  1. 10-11-2008 03:11 PM #1
    not-so-invinsible
    not-so-invinsible is offline
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    15

    Question my daughter's family is different ...

    Become a member to remove this ad.
    hello all !

    I am a new member, and I am glad I have chanced upon this website where women unite ) and discuss issues that makes and breaks us ...

    My daughter is 5 years old, and sadly her father had fled from the time I have told him that I was pregnant. My daughet & I are doing well now, and my family have helped me create a loving home for her. Now my concern is telling my daughter the real deal regarding his father. She calls my father daddy so she has a concept of a father. Although, now in school they have started to learn about families - a mum, a dad, and children. I know sooner than I had hoped for I would have to explain to her our situation. But how do I begin to tell her that her where her father is, and when should I start? She is only 5 years old, would this be the right age to briefly let her know that her real father is not with us and that our family is different than that of what they teach them in school?

    Hopefully someone out there can shed some light on this .... I have so many questions running in my mind but my ability to type now is overwhlemed with all these concerns springing in my mind one after the other ...

    HELP please ....

    Thanks so much for reading !

    X
    Derek: Are you sure you're ready?
    Meredith: I'm leaning into the fear to get a happy ending.
    Derek: I don't even know what that means...

    ~Grey's Anatomy~
  2. 10-11-2008 03:53 PM #2
    CHANDLERS WISH
    CHANDLERS WISH is offline
    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    19,973
    Blog Entries
    13

    Default

    Welcome to the forum not-so-invinsible.

    I would imagine, if you attended the school, and spoke to all the Mother's of the other children there, you would find a few in a simular situation as you are.

    I don't think you should tell her that your family is " different " , but I understand if they have father's nights, etc, it will be hard.

    I think that she should call your dad , Pop and you should slowly re-introduce her to him as your father, her grandfather, because grandparents are sooo special to children... And, to guide her when she is older, she will think but i always thought?

    Plus, if you are going to mention her father to her, she will know off course, that your father therefore, is not hers...

    It's difficult..

    I would say to her, your "Daddy is away - along way away" and maybe one day you will meet him...

    If you say any more, she may start questioning " was it my fault? " etc, there is time to explain more I think, as she gets older.

    And, then maybe say your father, " that is your grandpa, or pop, or how ever you want to refer to him, and he loves you very very much, as if you were his little girl, he's also my daddy, so that's special, can you say pop or do you want to say grandaddy? He needs a special name now " and leave it at that.

    I think all she needs to know is that he loves her, he's a daddy, And, that she has another Daddy who is a long way away and can't visit or be there.

    That's just my opinion.

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
  3. 10-13-2008 05:40 PM #3
    Lakerat
    Lakerat is offline
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array Lakerat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Posts
    812

    Default

    HI ...not so invisable....I think you may be shocked at how many familys are "diffrent"
    I bet there are as many single parent fams as "normal" ones, and yes fathers day or mothers day can be a lil nervous for you but I bet if your father goes it will be just as good...I wouldnt worry about the talk youll know when its time. And at a young age I wouldnt get to detailed in why. Sometimes keeping it simple is the best ....in my opinion
    If it wasn't for the bad times.... We wouldn't appreciate the good ones!
  4. 01-06-2009 01:28 PM #4
    not-so-invinsible
    not-so-invinsible is offline
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    15

    Smile

    thank you both for taking the time to reply to my post ....

    my daughter's father has been keen on meeting my daughter for several months now ... i have finally agreed and he's coming in Feb ...

    I am happy for my daughter that she will have this chance, I just hope it would do her some good than harm.

    I have been contemplating on how to tell her about her dad .... then one night after we have watched Mama Mia (we loved it & had so much singing while signing it),

    my daughter said in high spirits ... " I wish I have 3 dads ..." and I bravely replied "what if you have 2 dads would that be ok?" her eyes grew wide with excitement as she said "yes!yes!" I didnt say any further but I would like to think that she would be able to understand when the time comes that I will have to introduce her father to her ....

    wish me luck ...

    XX
    Derek: Are you sure you're ready?
    Meredith: I'm leaning into the fear to get a happy ending.
    Derek: I don't even know what that means...

    ~Grey's Anatomy~
  5. 01-06-2009 06:40 PM #5
    happy ending
    happy ending is offline
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    western australia
    Posts
    870

    Default

    i am wishing you luck, i hope it works out ok! two dads would be cool. your daughter sounds adorable.
  6. 01-07-2009 11:28 AM #6
    not-so-invinsible
    not-so-invinsible is offline
    Junior Member Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    15

    Wink

    thanks to both of u for taking time out to reply

    happy ending - I am hoping against hope that I am right thinking that is whats best for her ...

    x
    Derek: Are you sure you're ready?
    Meredith: I'm leaning into the fear to get a happy ending.
    Derek: I don't even know what that means...

    ~Grey's Anatomy~
  7. 01-07-2009 08:50 PM #7
    happy ending
    happy ending is offline
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) Array
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    western australia
    Posts
    870

    Default

    well there is only one way to find out, she sounds as if she gets a lot of love and is happy and secure anyway (well just from what you said) if it doesnt work out - well he's the one that misses out, even though she might be hurt momentarily, happy kids bounce back! trust me, i have seen my daughter rejected by her father, and she has worked out its his fault. kids are smart!
  8. 01-08-2009 11:29 AM #8
    Joy
    Joy is offline
    Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Array Joy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    636
    Blog Entries
    5

    Default

    If her dad has been keen on meeting her he is probably coming with good intentions. Talk to him first and tell him what his daughter is expecting.... a dad

    I wish you guys the best
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules


Beauty & Style | Fitness & Nutrition | Family & Relationships | Sex & Sexual Health | Physical & Mental Health | Girl Talk | Forum Home
Home | Health Library | Contact | Terms Of Service
© Womens-Health.com 2011+