My mom took my wedding Idea

**hello_pitty** · 02-20-2009, 11:36 AM

So my mom got re-married on Valentines day (she was in a rush...sigh just like her last one to someone not my father) Anyways I told her I was proud to have this ribbon shirt idea instead of tux's for the men (Groom and groomsmen) A ribbon shirt is something men wear in my nationality for special events (sort of like a dress shirt or tux). Well guess what? I go to my moms wedding and all the men are wearing ribbon shirts! SHE KNEW this was my idea

But i'm not sure if it was HER idea to do that or the grooms family who are really into the old native ways. It sort of broke my heart, and since I didn't tell anyone else but my mother and grandmother (and my fiances side) about my idea, no is going to believe it was my idea first.

So should I just go on with the ribbon shirt idea or change it up? I don't want tux's mainly because its SOOOOO common. Even my dress is not going to be the usual poofy white thing.

**rcoreyus** · 02-20-2009, 04:07 PM

Billions of people have gotten married. Anything you do has certainly been done before so why worry? Isn't it flattering that your mom thought it was such a nice idea that she wanted the same thing?

**hello_pitty** · 02-21-2009, 06:42 PM

Well I would never disown my own my mom for such a silly reason.

Oh well. But wouldn't it seem wierd that a moms wedding had that idea, then suddenly her daughter (4 months later) had the same idea?

I dunno, I just wanted to be different from my mom and cousins who are getting married. Maybe i'll try a longer style than she did....hmmmm

**WildChild** · 02-22-2009, 12:39 AM

Love ribbon shirts. But then since childhood I've harbored a secret wish to be courted in the old way by a man who would wrap me in a beautiful blanket and a play a courting flute. Probably no one on the continent does that anymore. Are there any other traditions you could draw on? Are you from the Seven Tribes? Don't know a lot about them but they have some strong matrilineal traditions, you could have fun researching. Are there any elders you could ask?

By all means stick with your idea. just because your mom did it doesn't make any less special for you - maybe you are starting a new/old family tradition. Think of the symbolism that you brought the idea forward, drawing from the old ways but will using it as the second generation to do so (so what if it was just a few months before). It's kind of cool. Are you going to have any traditional music or maybe some new native music? Ulali has some good songs.

Kung Fu Kitty · 02-22-2009, 07:23 AM

didnt you make another thread about not wanting to get married to this guy anyways?

**hello_pitty** · 02-22-2009, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kung Fu Kitty

didnt you make another thread about not wanting to get married to this guy anyways?

Obviously you haven't been following the thread. At the moment when I over reacted I felt bad. But like adults we talked it out. Here is the thread so you can read the entire thing.

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...-you-do-2.html

02-20-2009, 11:36 AM	#1
hello_pitty Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 229	My mom took my wedding Idea So my mom got re-married on Valentines day (she was in a rush...sigh just like her last one to someone not my father) Anyways I told her I was proud to have this ribbon shirt idea instead of tux's for the men (Groom and groomsmen) A ribbon shirt is something men wear in my nationality for special events (sort of like a dress shirt or tux). Well guess what? I go to my moms wedding and all the men are wearing ribbon shirts! SHE KNEW this was my idea But i'm not sure if it was HER idea to do that or the grooms family who are really into the old native ways. It sort of broke my heart, and since I didn't tell anyone else but my mother and grandmother (and my fiances side) about my idea, no is going to believe it was my idea first. So should I just go on with the ribbon shirt idea or change it up? I don't want tux's mainly because its SOOOOO common. Even my dress is not going to be the usual poofy white thing. __________________ "I might be a little young, but honey I ain't naive" "If it ain't an APBT, it's just a dog"

02-21-2009, 06:42 PM	#3
hello_pitty Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Saskatchewan, Canada Posts: 229	Well I would never disown my own my mom for such a silly reason. Oh well. But wouldn't it seem wierd that a moms wedding had that idea, then suddenly her daughter (4 months later) had the same idea? I dunno, I just wanted to be different from my mom and cousins who are getting married. Maybe i'll try a longer style than she did....hmmmm __________________ "I might be a little young, but honey I ain't naive" "If it ain't an APBT, it's just a dog"

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02-20-2009, 04:07 PM	#2
rcoreyus March 2008 "Poster of the Month" Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: SF bay area Posts: 1,333	Billions of people have gotten married. Anything you do has certainly been done before so why worry? Isn't it flattering that your mom thought it was such a nice idea that she wanted the same thing?

02-22-2009, 12:39 AM	#4
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,223 Blog Entries: 5	Love ribbon shirts. But then since childhood I've harbored a secret wish to be courted in the old way by a man who would wrap me in a beautiful blanket and a play a courting flute. Probably no one on the continent does that anymore. Are there any other traditions you could draw on? Are you from the Seven Tribes? Don't know a lot about them but they have some strong matrilineal traditions, you could have fun researching. Are there any elders you could ask? By all means stick with your idea. just because your mom did it doesn't make any less special for you - maybe you are starting a new/old family tradition. Think of the symbolism that you brought the idea forward, drawing from the old ways but will using it as the second generation to do so (so what if it was just a few months before). It's kind of cool. Are you going to have any traditional music or maybe some new native music? Ulali has some good songs.

02-22-2009, 07:23 AM	#5
Kung Fu Kitty Banned from WH Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Maine Posts: 126	didnt you make another thread about not wanting to get married to this guy anyways?