Thread: Middle school kids and sexting/rumors/viciousness

Wow, a difficult problem. A few weeks back some middle-school girls were arrested on charges of child pornography for sending friends text-pictures of themselves naked. The authorities take this sort of thing very seriously - maybe too seriously.

I agree that it needs to stop, but I don't know what to suggest. Maybe contacting the boy's parents? Maybe they can explain to him just how much he can screw up his own life by doing this?

The problem with contacting parents is that his parents might not care (or equally bad, they might be the type to overreact in an abusive manner. After all, this child obviously has problems interacting with others and understanding his sexuality and that has to come from somewhere.) Telling them in either of these situations would be less than delicate, despite the fact that it is conventionally "appropriate."
How culpable do you feel your daughter is in these actions? Could you call his texts sexual harassment, or was she "comfortable?" Knowing how she feels about it has a lot of bearing on how you can proceed. If she feels harassed or pressured, you can help her help herself. If she was a willing participant, then you really need to have a sit-down talk about how she should conduct herself with her peers.
I am certain that middle schoolers are put in these situations much more often than adults would like to believe, but just because it's common doesn't mean it's right or necessary. Good on you for wanting to correct it before it gets into your daughter's head.

This is clearly sexual harrassment. You haveto talk to your daughter, ask how she feels about it. Does she feel uncomfortable seeing the boy at the hallway/street (wherever)?

Report this to the school principal, and they will deal with it swiftly. Don't take it slow. Middle schoolers are in a stage where they just cannot control their raging hormones, but they are being taught in schools on how to deal with it appropriately. They know the repercussions should they behave inappropriately. So discuss the matter with the principal and give that boy a lesson he wouldn't forget. Nip it in the bud while you can, who knows, you might just save him from being a rapist or nympho later in life.

PS.

If your daughter is a willing participant in this "sexting", you might have to deal with it differently. She might need some counseling too. Keep us posted.

I did contact the boy's mother and the school and the police. First, I talked to the mom and she was mortified ans very sorry for what her son had done. He had used his grandmother's cellphone to send this "porn", and his was a single mother w/ a baby also. When I went to he police, they took the evidence. I asked that the boy's mother not be charged or her mom. I expressed that I was more concerned w/ getting all those involved together and have there phones confiscated. I wanted these kids to know that what they did was a felony, and implicated their parents, being the phones are in their names. All the parents were notified and the matter was brought to their attention, and a few other students were in trouble for sexting as well. It all worked out well. The principal and vice principal were kinda vague on the matter. It's been several weeks since the incident. Yesterday I received a letter from the school informing parents of the possibility of sexting among their own children. This letter infuriated me because there was one statement made that said: "There have been no reported incidents of sexting within our school district." Now, I know of at least 2 separate incidents, 1 involving Elementary school kids and my own incident. Why are they covering this up?