Mom and Grandmother keep going through my room

**kgo** · 03-18-2009, 08:11 AM

I live with my parents, sister and grandmother along with 4 animals. I have my own bedroom in the basement, and work full time. I'm 19 years old and work full time. My grammy stays home all day and she doesn't our laundry for us and puts it away in our rooms. I have a hard time sleeping in my house because there are 5 people living there, and it doesn't quiet down until about midnight and then picks back up around 6:30-7am. I've tried to move out, even went looking at apartments and my dad FLIPPED that I was trying to move in with my boyfriend. My mom and grandmother are constantly cleaning up my room for me, I know they are just trying to help but I don't want them to. I can't find ANYTHING because it's never where I put it, and theya re always bringing things up like "Oh, why do you have this int here?" and when I get upset that they go through and clean my room they just laugh and try to get me doing cause I get mad and just walk away.

I know that they are being so great to me, by cleaning up my stuff and doing my laundry but I dont want them going threw my room. I can't even decorate it and my mom rearranges it. i got a new cubbyhole thing and my mom didn't like where it was so she moved around my furniture into a way she thought would give me more room. I go home at night and my night lamp is turned on for me and stuff and I just never know where things are going to be since my rooms been tampered with.

They know I used to smoke, and that I drink. I keep my beer right on the floor in it's case, so I know they are'nt looking for anything they are just OCD about things being clean and neat and in order. I can't stand it, and I'm ready to move out and risk ruining my relationship with my dad. I've talked to my mom several times, and it results in her stopping going into my room for about a week -then it returns to normal. I'll even do my own laundry, if they will just stay out. I'm finding it hard to be mad, because i know they are just helping me and I'm being a spoiled little b****.

I'm sorry this is long and jumbled, I'm very frustrated right now.

**sourpuss** · 03-18-2009, 09:08 AM

Maybe try doing your own laundry and keeping it clean for a few weeks. Pre-empt them by not giving them a reason to go in there. The rearranging thing is a bit over the top though. You should be able to put furniture where you want it in your own room. Do you pay rent? Maybe suggest that you pay $100/month with the understanding that it YOUR room now and they must ask permission to enter.

Yes, they are being nice with the cleaning up and the laundry. Thank them and reassure them that they certainly don't need to do it and you are perfectly capable of doing it on your own. It sounds like you just need to sit down and have a heart to heart with the both of them and tell them that when they invade your space that it makes you uncomfortable. At the end of the day I think it boils down to the fact that you are an adult and they are treating you like a child. How are you supposed to move forward and come into your own if your mom is still telling you were to put a cubby in your room?!

**kgo** · 03-18-2009, 09:18 AM

Thanks for the quick response Sourpuss.

I have offered to do my own laundry, and tried to but I work a full time job and a part time job and I have to put it in in the mornings or at lunch and I can't get around to it for a while and my mom and grammy can't have ANY dirty clothes so they have to dry mine and get them out of the way before I have a chance to.

I just purchased a new SUV and am finding it a very large financial burden that I'm learning to handle (slowly) so paying rent is not an option at this moment, but maybe in the future. THanks again!!

**sourpuss** · 03-18-2009, 09:32 AM

Can you get a hamper and put it in your closet to keep all your laundry in there until the weekend? Just make sure it's out of sight so they don't have a reason to come in and 'clean up'.

03-18-2009, 08:11 AM	#1
kgo VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 43	Mom and Grandmother keep going through my room I live with my parents, sister and grandmother along with 4 animals. I have my own bedroom in the basement, and work full time. I'm 19 years old and work full time. My grammy stays home all day and she doesn't our laundry for us and puts it away in our rooms. I have a hard time sleeping in my house because there are 5 people living there, and it doesn't quiet down until about midnight and then picks back up around 6:30-7am. I've tried to move out, even went looking at apartments and my dad FLIPPED that I was trying to move in with my boyfriend. My mom and grandmother are constantly cleaning up my room for me, I know they are just trying to help but I don't want them to. I can't find ANYTHING because it's never where I put it, and theya re always bringing things up like "Oh, why do you have this int here?" and when I get upset that they go through and clean my room they just laugh and try to get me doing cause I get mad and just walk away. I know that they are being so great to me, by cleaning up my stuff and doing my laundry but I dont want them going threw my room. I can't even decorate it and my mom rearranges it. i got a new cubbyhole thing and my mom didn't like where it was so she moved around my furniture into a way she thought would give me more room. I go home at night and my night lamp is turned on for me and stuff and I just never know where things are going to be since my rooms been tampered with. They know I used to smoke, and that I drink. I keep my beer right on the floor in it's case, so I know they are'nt looking for anything they are just OCD about things being clean and neat and in order. I can't stand it, and I'm ready to move out and risk ruining my relationship with my dad. I've talked to my mom several times, and it results in her stopping going into my room for about a week -then it returns to normal. I'll even do my own laundry, if they will just stay out. I'm finding it hard to be mad, because i know they are just helping me and I'm being a spoiled little b****. I'm sorry this is long and jumbled, I'm very frustrated right now.

03-18-2009, 09:08 AM	#2
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 1,375	Maybe try doing your own laundry and keeping it clean for a few weeks. Pre-empt them by not giving them a reason to go in there. The rearranging thing is a bit over the top though. You should be able to put furniture where you want it in your own room. Do you pay rent? Maybe suggest that you pay $100/month with the understanding that it YOUR room now and they must ask permission to enter. Yes, they are being nice with the cleaning up and the laundry. Thank them and reassure them that they certainly don't need to do it and you are perfectly capable of doing it on your own. It sounds like you just need to sit down and have a heart to heart with the both of them and tell them that when they invade your space that it makes you uncomfortable. At the end of the day I think it boils down to the fact that you are an adult and they are treating you like a child. How are you supposed to move forward and come into your own if your mom is still telling you were to put a cubby in your room?! __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

03-18-2009, 09:32 AM	#4
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 1,375	Can you get a hamper and put it in your closet to keep all your laundry in there until the weekend? Just make sure it's out of sight so they don't have a reason to come in and 'clean up'. __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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03-18-2009, 09:18 AM	#3
kgo VIP Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 43	Thanks for the quick response Sourpuss. I have offered to do my own laundry, and tried to but I work a full time job and a part time job and I have to put it in in the mornings or at lunch and I can't get around to it for a while and my mom and grammy can't have ANY dirty clothes so they have to dry mine and get them out of the way before I have a chance to. I just purchased a new SUV and am finding it a very large financial burden that I'm learning to handle (slowly) so paying rent is not an option at this moment, but maybe in the future. THanks again!!