help! stressed Mother at end of her rope!

lanniel · 04-30-2009, 03:43 PM

My 11 yr. old daughter has a problem and i need help to try and find a way to help her. she blows things so out of proportion that it is getting worse and i am having problems dealing with it. Example, this morning she got out of bed and her ear was infected from accidentally
hooking her earring the nite before. she had a fit that she couldnt go to school because it hurt so bad. when i tried to clean it she threw a fit like she was being killed and she gets herself so worked up there is absolutely no reasoning with her. backing away from me like im a mass murderer. screaming, freaking out and absolutely not cooperating at all. little things are big to her and i dont know what to do . any ideas ? please help.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 04-30-2009, 04:59 PM

Well she could have anxiety, or just freaks out over things that will make her "look" un-attractive to her fellow students.

But with regard to "backing away from you / not cooperating". She's 11... Hand her the cotton and the liquid and tell her in 5 words what to do and walk out the room.

In-otherwords, let her fend for her self a little more now, gust give her guidence and walk away...

I think, she is rebelling over the "Motherly" side, as she is maturing perhaps quicker than most 11 year olds, from the sounds of it...

It can't hurt to try and she is at the age where she needs to start to learn to stand a little on her own feet.

CW

**blondie80** · 05-14-2009, 07:19 PM

Maybe let her have a little independance she feels she is growing up and maybe feels you are trying to stop her, my daughter is 11 as well and yes hormones i think are starting to kick in and things can be a big deal at the time little things that werent so bad a couple of months ago!
I think the trick is learning where to let go and let them fend a little more for themselves and when you know you are really needed, i sit my daughter down or try to every now and then to see how she has been feeling especially if she has had a bad week at school or things like that we talk about how she feels what she thinks she should do and things like that, she still feels heard but the tantrums and things like that i tend to let her have them a little because their minds are changing the way they think is becoming more complex and they still dont completely understand that yet it takes time for them to learn as well and maybe a little space from us.

**Joy** · 05-14-2009, 07:57 PM

Welcome to puberty

I would say hormonal by the sounds of it.

04-30-2009, 03:43 PM	#1
lanniel Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: ontario, canada Posts: 3	help! stressed Mother at end of her rope! My 11 yr. old daughter has a problem and i need help to try and find a way to help her. she blows things so out of proportion that it is getting worse and i am having problems dealing with it. Example, this morning she got out of bed and her ear was infected from accidentally hooking her earring the nite before. she had a fit that she couldnt go to school because it hurt so bad. when i tried to clean it she threw a fit like she was being killed and she gets herself so worked up there is absolutely no reasoning with her. backing away from me like im a mass murderer. screaming, freaking out and absolutely not cooperating at all. little things are big to her and i dont know what to do . any ideas ? please help.

04-30-2009, 04:59 PM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,967 Blog Entries: 7	Well she could have anxiety, or just freaks out over things that will make her "look" un-attractive to her fellow students. But with regard to "backing away from you / not cooperating". She's 11... Hand her the cotton and the liquid and tell her in 5 words what to do and walk out the room. In-otherwords, let her fend for her self a little more now, gust give her guidence and walk away... I think, she is rebelling over the "Motherly" side, as she is maturing perhaps quicker than most 11 year olds, from the sounds of it... It can't hurt to try and she is at the age where she needs to start to learn to stand a little on her own feet. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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05-14-2009, 07:19 PM	#3
blondie80 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 119	Maybe let her have a little independance she feels she is growing up and maybe feels you are trying to stop her, my daughter is 11 as well and yes hormones i think are starting to kick in and things can be a big deal at the time little things that werent so bad a couple of months ago! I think the trick is learning where to let go and let them fend a little more for themselves and when you know you are really needed, i sit my daughter down or try to every now and then to see how she has been feeling especially if she has had a bad week at school or things like that we talk about how she feels what she thinks she should do and things like that, she still feels heard but the tantrums and things like that i tend to let her have them a little because their minds are changing the way they think is becoming more complex and they still dont completely understand that yet it takes time for them to learn as well and maybe a little space from us.

05-14-2009, 07:57 PM	#4
Joy Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 625 Blog Entries: 5	Welcome to puberty I would say hormonal by the sounds of it.