Thread: How do I convince my family to avoid my abusive ex?

I agree with the others - you can't tell her who to interact with. You can only tell her how you feel and see what happens. You can politely ask her not to discuss you with him and you can refuse to listen to anything about him.

I had a somewhat similar thing; my ex would phone my parents, sometimes to try to get them to get me to do something, sometimes to tell them what a bad person I was, sometimes the reason for the call really wasn't clear. My mother humoured him and listened and then, if he finally got me on the phone he'd tell my mother agreed with him about this, that and the other. Of course she didn't agree with him, but this man takes silence as affirmation and approval. I told her that and asked her would she consider not talk talking to him when he called. She said that she listened at least partly because she felt that if she listened to him rant and vent for 30 minutes that was thirty minutes of ranting she'd saved me from. With that attitude I couldn't be annoyed with her. Eventually he realised that talking to her was getting him nothing and gave up.

And that's the main point - if your ex gets nothing from this interaction with your sister in law then he'll probably drop it sooner or later. You just have to grin and bear it, though, for now.