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Thread: family nudity, sorry this long

  1. #1
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    Default family nudity, sorry this long


    hello everyone
    this thought has been in my mind for 3-4 months now, i am a bit cunfused and maybe have some issues with it. i grew up in a family of 5 with an older sister(2years older), myself(male) and a younger sister(3years younger), mother and father. we where all pretty privat. door locked when having a shower, bedroom doors always closed. didnt see any one of them without any close on, didnt dare to try to peek.
    i am now 34 married with 2 childeren, 7 year old boy and a 5 year old daughter. my wife was an only child and saw her mom and dad naked all the time, bathroom, bedroom all indoors of cource.
    when it is bath-bed time for my 2 childeren, they run all over the house naked, this doesnt bother me a whole lot, but my wife let them bath together a little while ago and i got home from work i went to check up on them and started going crazy and got them out of the tub and in to pjs. i just thought they where too close to each other. i am not against nudity and i dont want them to grow up feeling ashamed of there own bodies.
    how do i or we(my wife and i) go about seperating the time for nudity and privat time. ive been on some interesting forums lately and read some different stories between brothers and sisters and it bothers me to think of what could happen because they see each other naked at bath-bed time.
    i am interested in hearing what others think in this situation, good or bad.
    thank you for your time, sorry it was soooo long or if it is confusing. my writing sucks
    gym rat

  2. #2
    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    This is hard because it gets into personal preferences. In some societies, no one sees anyone naked, in others its quite common. I think it important for them to understand that what is ok at home, isn't in public. They also need to understand appropriate and inappropriate touching. Kids do explore, that's natural. I'd bet that if you keep an open and frank attitude, there won't be any problems.

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    WH Super Moderator Array Hopeless Dork's Avatar
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    Personally, I don't feel family nudity is appropriate. You can teach your kid to not be ashamed of their body while at the same time teaching them to respect it and the people around them. Little babies is one thing, but over 6 even I think its time they bathe seperately and learn to give each other privacy.

    I don't see what good can come from a practice that is so unusual it would need to be 'only done indoors' etc. In the real world and in society, nudity is not widely accepted, right or wrong its the world we live in. To teach them come be nude at home then outside/ at theirfriends house behave different. Confusing.

    I'm sure some kids that grow up in totally free open nudity homes may have a good sense of self and their bodies and I am sure some may have feelings of guilt and wierdness when they find out most homes don't operate this way.

    Its your life, its your family of course you can run it how you see fit, your wife seemed to have turned out fine in her environment but if your looking for opinion I think they are too old to be bathing together and seeing each other nude. That they needn't be shamed, but that now is the time to start teaching bounderies.
    Last edited by Hopeless Dork; 06-18-2009 at 02:57 PM. Reason: clarity
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

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    Sorry to reply to this post so late but im going to reply anyway I think it all comes down to what you are used to and what you grow up with, I never seen my father naked or sisters or mother infact yes at times half naked while they were getting dressed or things like that but never properly.
    My children bathed together until they were maybe three and four and my youngest I had trouble keeping clothes on her, but I persisted it doesn't mean that we still dont get the odd nude run through the house but now nearly all the time covered by towels. We have had the big talks about body parts and things like that and why you should wear clothes and those sorts of things but to a degree i think that they need to be aware that its really not appropriate to be naked or that your too old to bath with your brother or your sister.
    I don't know if that is really right but that is my opinion and what has happened in our house over time!

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    o5 June 2010, SA
    GYM RAT,
    H I !
    I disagree with BLONDIE 80 re ~ it's what you're used to
    and how you grew up.
    Both you and your wife must be comfortable with being
    nude with yourselves and the children. If the wife is not
    comfortable with being nude with the children the
    children will pickup on her attitude.
    You and your wife ought to go to a nudist camp that
    both you and the campers feel comfortable with.
    You may have to "shop" a camp until there's mutual
    liking for each other; it's somewhat like "shopping"
    for the same denomination church.
    If both you and your wife are comfortable with
    nudist camp ABC then you can suggest to your kids
    to try it with you. Be sure there are many kids of
    your childrens ages. In many cases the kids feel
    comfortable being nude among other similar age
    kids quickly. You and your kids may want to try
    different camps because they may prefer kids at
    camp XYZ. Keep "shopping" until everyone is
    happy or shuttle among camps. Various camps
    have activities to select from.
    I am an evangelical Christian and do not believe
    social nudism is wrong.
    Last edited by Hopeless Dork; 06-05-2010 at 01:40 PM. Reason: removed link

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    TEAM ADMIN Array CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    I can't personally see where this query turns into a nudist camp? To me, the OP is taking, protection and where and when that needs to be inforced.

    When I grew up, my Mother also walked around the house naked, but my Father didn't, I saw him by chance once and nearly had a heart attack

    I think it's fine for children to run around the house naked, but at some point they are no longer children. I think it's fine for them to have a bath together, however, I personally would be in the bathroom with them even at 5 & 7.

    I understand "curiousity" and perhaps therefore, your thoughts there. Have you actually discussed with your wife, at what age she personally thinks that the children should be covering up, when together?

    It is difficult when one person is used to one thing and the other, used to something else.

    It's also hard not to see a child as a growing little adult, as they are just "your babies"...

    Discuss the above, as to age wise and all children really need to be monitored, a simple play in the bath and one hits his/her head and the other goes into shock for 2 minutes is another reason why you shouldn't leave them together alone, in my opinion, in any-case.

    CW
    PUT A LITTLE LIGHT IN MY SOUL!

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    Nudity is a natural part of life, and its perfectly fine in a normal well-balanced house hold. My family have no problems with nudity, we don't walk round all the time, but accept it as a natural part of life.
    Kids are naturally curious, as as much as they want to find out about everything else, you need to explain social rules and acceptable behaviour. It's all part of balanced parenting.

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    Banned from WH Array Thomas Hepburn's Avatar
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    I really don't see an issue here at all. Bathing kids together of this age is innocent. My kids (boy and girl) went numerous times to nudist venues. They never behaved inappropriately. They started putting clothes on in their teens.You should always be with them in the bathroom though for safety reasons. Please, whatever you do, do not let them grow up believing nudity is wrong or unnatural. We have too many people like this in the world today as it is ! But, you must explain to them that they can't run down the street naked or it would offend other people. I believe you should be able to be naked in your own home whenever you like as long as you don't offend others. Certainly for boys and girls to mix innocently naked as youngsters is good for their development. I hardly ever saw a naked girl when I was young and grew up with hang-ups about women. Boys who are used to seeing naked girls/women often have more respect for them later on as they have shared a "vulnerability" with them. They will ask questions about bodies as well. If they do just answer honestly but without sounding rude.

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    WH Super Moderator Array Hopeless Dork's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas Hepburn View Post
    Certainly for boys and girls to mix innocently naked as youngsters is good for their development. I hardly ever saw a naked girl when I was young and grew up with hang-ups about women. Boys who are used to seeing naked girls/women often have more respect for them later on as they have shared a "vulnerability" with them.
    I don't think boys who see girls naked at a young age grow up with more respect for them due to shared vulnerability. Boys and girls have always played the show me mine I show you yours game and that doesn't seem to have impacted respect for women. Boys grow up seeing an incredibble amount of nude women on tv in magazines and on the internet... and I do not think the world is growing more respectful men because of it. I don't think people should take their kids to some nudist venue and parade them around adults that may not have best of intentions for being there. I don't see the benefit of being nude with strangers, sexually or not, I don't think it exposes any more than the skin on your body... I don't think you gain a greater sense of spirtuality because your breasts are testicles are there for the viewing of others. These are just my opinions. I think that kids don't need to have hang ups about their bodies or to be made to feel shame over them, but i don't think you need to make them get naked in front of a bunch of naked old people to give them a good sense of self worth and in many cases I think it could prove more damaging when they realize that their neighbor kids don't live the way they do and feel ostrasized and freakish.
    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

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    WH Head Moderator Array WildChild's Avatar
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    Nobody lives quite like their neighbors and kids will find reasons to feel "freakish" especially about their families no matter what. Nudity is just no big deal - unless you make it one. I grew up doing a lot of camping - living in a tent literally part of my childhood. Excessive modesty just wasn't possible. I may have plenty of problems in life but getting naked hasn't been and isn't one of them.

    My kids (girl and boy) bathed together until I remarried. Sometimes I bathed with them. We had discussions about bodies and there was no discomfort. In a setting where everyone is nude, it loses a lot of interest. Societies where women don't cover their breasts do not sexualize breasts. They just don't arouse much interest because they are always out there. The kind of highly suggestive, sexualized nudity our kids are often exposed to in advertising and media is different because it is sexualized. It isn't just naked people going about their business. It is clearly an attempt to arouse and titilate. That is different.

    Most kids develop a sense of when things like nudity are and aren't appropriate pretty early on. I can't help but think that more family/public nudity would lead to fewer concerns and traumas over body image. The plastic surgery and foundation garment industries would take a real nose dive if there was more body acceptance in the world. No one has a "perfect" body but our healthy bodies are perfectly fine as they are.
    We can only learn to love by loving. - Iris Mudoch, British writer

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