Unloved

My mother is controlling, so much so she took my brothers and I out of school to be home schooled by her. I have NEVER had any friends BF or otherwise. She never let me out of her sight. I am now twenty-one years old. She has had a stroke, my sisters are back in my life(she hid us away from them when she couldn't control them). My oldest sister has offered for me to stay with her and help me get my first job and everything. Frist I have to find homes for a few of my pets (she can only take one of my cats my chinchilla and my dog and myself) then I have to tell her. I am tired of of living caged in like this, I know it's not fair to her but, she has always been abusive and hurtful(she has called me a and a ). And one of my brothers joins in with her. her attitude has gotten worse since the stroke. I can't take it any more. I never really had a mother. So does anyone have any ideas on how I can word it to her that I will have to leave her, when I do she will never want to see me again. but I can't live with this any longer.

Hopeless Dork

Unloved you are doing the right thing. You need to get on with your life and try to heal from the memories of the way she has treated you. She is your mother, and you are always going to hold a place for her in your heart no matter if she was good to you or not. But don't let her manipulate that place in your heart and make you feel guilty for leaving. You are an adult and free to do as you please... its time to leave that nest, even if she was the nicest mom on the planet.

You can still visit, if she allows. She may threaten you that if you leave she won't see you again. It may be a true threat or a scare tactic, but either way you can't let that fear keep you there forever. You have a life of your own to lead. She gave birth to you and put you here, but you are not her property, especially now at 21.

You don't have to read her the riot act as you go, you don't have to tell her how bad of a mom she was or how much she hurt you ( i am sure deep down she knows). Just tell her that its time you got on your own 2 feet, and you'd be happy to come by and visit and help her around the house (if you want to do that, that is) but that you have your own life to lead now, she lead hers, and now its your turn to do the same.

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Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

CHANDLERS WISH

It's fantastic that your sisters are back in your life and are there for you..

It's obviously you have a good heart for all you have been through you still want to break away softly.

Tell her that you want to get to know your "sisters" again and so you will be going for a while.

Controlling people have a way of making the other person feel "guilty" you have nothing to feel guilty over, your 21, it's your life and it's about to begin for the first time..

It won't matter what you say to her, my guess is that she will try to make you feel guilty..

Just know in your heart that your an Adult and you have a right to commence your life.. And, that it's okay, you're not doing anything wrong.

CW

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Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told

Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!

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