Friends with the ex or not, children should always come first.

maxxyknight · 07-13-2009, 02:35 PM

Ok i'm a little confused here, i don't know why i'm so upset over this.
Ever since i told the ex that i would be about a week or two late paying him his support payments (if you read my other posts you would understand why) he has gone from speaking to me every day to maybe once a week. And all we ever speak about is the kids. Well the kids just spent two and half weeks with me (part 1 of summer vacay) and he did not call me once to see how they were. Yet instead he would text his daughter (to whom he bought a cel phone that shares 400 call mins with his girlfriend so he told her text only no calling anyone) one text a day and even then sometimes wouldn't answer her back. Giving her the excuse that he had bad reception at the campground. or his phone was off, meanwhile his camper is parked less than a block from a pay phone (i know this cuz he has called from there before.) The kids even asked why he didn't call as much or answer sometimes. His girlfriend even texted back one night that "this is the last time your father is texting tonight as it takes over ten mins to text." when it comes to a 10 and 14 yr old i'm sure he can take the time to call them or me to ask about them. The only 45 second call i got was to say that he was going to have to put my daughter's pet dog down because part of his fault he let her nails grow too long and left cuts on her paws untreated and they got so infected the vet said they couldn't do anything about it. .. so that left me upset as well as devasted our daughter. so i had to tell me daughter and he didn't even ask as to how she was feeling.... what confuses or upsets me the most is why is he always after me about money yet not one word about their well being.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-13-2009, 06:48 PM

Hey Maxi, it sounds like he has only been nice for the sake of receiving child support, even though as you claimed before, he doesn't actually "need" it, he can stand on his own.

It's his grave, when your children are Adults and realise how distant he was to them, at that point, I have no doubt that they will say what they feel.

We are emotional and so it hurts us to see this...

What comes around goes around.

CW

maxxyknight · 07-14-2009, 09:31 AM

my sentiments exactly. I make it a point to call atleast once a day (normally everyday at 4pm) he tells me thats my perogative if i want to do that. But yes i understand, when they get older, learn to drive, get out on their own...then reality will set in for him. Tks.i needed that lol.

maxxyknight · 07-15-2009, 07:12 AM

well its official. the ex has explicitly told me (thru email) he does not ever want to be friends (even for the kids sake) never wants to talk with me (unless its of important issues with the children, at that time he will speak to me in "humane manner") and what he does with them no other person will "dictate". So.. i guess i now wash my proverberal hands of him and give up trying to "keep the peace" so to speak. in some ways its release off my back but in other ways it feels like a kick in the stomach. Thats what you get when a Type A personality clashes with Type C lol.. alls good for now

lol

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 07-15-2009, 05:18 PM

PFTTTT.... Isn't it horrid when they try to take full control... "I will not", "I will do this", "you will not do that", "I will not accept this"....

Then don't even tell him that your going to be late with payments, in-fact skip one if you really can't afford it and don't reply to his email...

It's unfortunate when this happens. My best friend of 20 years went through this with her ex-husband, he ended up re-marrying and I asked her to let the kids go to the wedding, as not to cause issues later in life... But, he was the same, you will not, I will not etc. She granted, would cook a meal for 1 child and another for the other two, and he would cook (1) for the three, if one didn't eat it, because they didn't like it, he would send them to their room ( with a belt), not good. She took them all and went to Scotland in the end, there now...

It got that bad.

Get on with your life maxy find your "knight".... be happy...... love your children and totally forget this man, he is "only" the father of your children now and you deserve love and affection from more than just your children.

As, I said before, they will see him for what he is as times go by without any words from you, from his actions of not talking to them enough....

Keep loving them and love yourself and find that knight whilst your at it.

X

07-13-2009, 02:35 PM	#1
maxxyknight Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Embrun, ontario, Canada Posts: 17	Friends with the ex or not, children should always come first. Ok i'm a little confused here, i don't know why i'm so upset over this. Ever since i told the ex that i would be about a week or two late paying him his support payments (if you read my other posts you would understand why) he has gone from speaking to me every day to maybe once a week. And all we ever speak about is the kids. Well the kids just spent two and half weeks with me (part 1 of summer vacay) and he did not call me once to see how they were. Yet instead he would text his daughter (to whom he bought a cel phone that shares 400 call mins with his girlfriend so he told her text only no calling anyone) one text a day and even then sometimes wouldn't answer her back. Giving her the excuse that he had bad reception at the campground. or his phone was off, meanwhile his camper is parked less than a block from a pay phone (i know this cuz he has called from there before.) The kids even asked why he didn't call as much or answer sometimes. His girlfriend even texted back one night that "this is the last time your father is texting tonight as it takes over ten mins to text." when it comes to a 10 and 14 yr old i'm sure he can take the time to call them or me to ask about them. The only 45 second call i got was to say that he was going to have to put my daughter's pet dog down because part of his fault he let her nails grow too long and left cuts on her paws untreated and they got so infected the vet said they couldn't do anything about it. .. so that left me upset as well as devasted our daughter. so i had to tell me daughter and he didn't even ask as to how she was feeling.... what confuses or upsets me the most is why is he always after me about money yet not one word about their well being. __________________ MaxxyKnight

07-13-2009, 06:48 PM	#2
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,939 Blog Entries: 7	Hey Maxi, it sounds like he has only been nice for the sake of receiving child support, even though as you claimed before, he doesn't actually "need" it, he can stand on his own. It's his grave, when your children are Adults and realise how distant he was to them, at that point, I have no doubt that they will say what they feel. We are emotional and so it hurts us to see this... What comes around goes around. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

07-14-2009, 09:31 AM	#3
maxxyknight Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Embrun, ontario, Canada Posts: 17	my sentiments exactly. I make it a point to call atleast once a day (normally everyday at 4pm) he tells me thats my perogative if i want to do that. But yes i understand, when they get older, learn to drive, get out on their own...then reality will set in for him. Tks.i needed that lol. __________________ MaxxyKnight

07-15-2009, 07:12 AM	#4
maxxyknight Junior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Embrun, ontario, Canada Posts: 17	well its official. the ex has explicitly told me (thru email) he does not ever want to be friends (even for the kids sake) never wants to talk with me (unless its of important issues with the children, at that time he will speak to me in "humane manner") and what he does with them no other person will "dictate". So.. i guess i now wash my proverberal hands of him and give up trying to "keep the peace" so to speak. in some ways its release off my back but in other ways it feels like a kick in the stomach. Thats what you get when a Type A personality clashes with Type C lol.. alls good for now lol __________________ MaxxyKnight

07-15-2009, 05:18 PM	#5
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,939 Blog Entries: 7	PFTTTT.... Isn't it horrid when they try to take full control... "I will not", "I will do this", "you will not do that", "I will not accept this".... Then don't even tell him that your going to be late with payments, in-fact skip one if you really can't afford it and don't reply to his email... It's unfortunate when this happens. My best friend of 20 years went through this with her ex-husband, he ended up re-marrying and I asked her to let the kids go to the wedding, as not to cause issues later in life... But, he was the same, you will not, I will not etc. She granted, would cook a meal for 1 child and another for the other two, and he would cook (1) for the three, if one didn't eat it, because they didn't like it, he would send them to their room ( with a belt), not good. She took them all and went to Scotland in the end, there now... It got that bad. Get on with your life maxy find your "knight".... be happy...... love your children and totally forget this man, he is "only" the father of your children now and you deserve love and affection from more than just your children. As, I said before, they will see him for what he is as times go by without any words from you, from his actions of not talking to them enough.... Keep loving them and love yourself and find that knight whilst your at it. X __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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