cruel step dad :(!

tiffygirl · 08-01-2009, 03:54 PM

my mom has been married to this man since was 7 . as soon as he walk in the door all breaks lose . i feel so un welcome at my own house it isenteven funny my mom is the sweetest thing in the world but around my step dad everyone has to be so secretive .. and god forbid you say something to upset HIM , mean while he does all day is sit on the computer and search useless information all day long .. and i work monday to friday at 7 am every morning and when i sleep at home he has this alarm cklock and it goes off at 5 am and he doesent shut it offf just to make me angry and then have me flip out and then try to make my mom think im troubled, so i sleep at my boyfirneds most of the week but im scared that were going to get annoyed of each other , because its only healthy to have time apart and ineed sleep but he also has a 2 year old son thats up all night , and i just feel like theres a huge cake infront of me piled 10 feet high and someones forcing me to eat it and just deal with it .. and im tired of feeling this way but i have no say in anything and the saddest part about this is that ive never even met my real dad .. ive talked on the phone with him twice , and i just feel like my step dads just tryng to take over and control what iset his . and this could all be aoided if he just wasent so rude all the time . i just feel stuck

**WildChild** · 08-01-2009, 04:59 PM

How old are you?
Does your step dad support the household?
Did he financially support you as you were growing up?
Does your mom have a job outside the home?
Are you in college?
Why do you have to be secretive?
Does your mother feel a need to be secretive too?
How late are you staying up?

Why does he get up at 5 am?
If it happens regularly, why do you flip out? If you have to be at work by 7, getting up at 5 isn't at all unreasonable. Get up with a smile, have some breakfast, work out, get ready for work and no reason to "flip out". Just get to bed a little earlier and that problem is solved.

It's unfortunate that you don't have a relationship with your birth father but my guess that if he wanted to, he would have made the effort to see you. Your step dad has been around since you were 7 or younger. It's not unreasonable that he would feel he should have some voice. However, my now ex was always pretty good with my daughter but was not with my son and as my son got older, the problem got worse and they were around each other since my son was 5. So I do understand that sometimes stepparents and kids just never connect.

If you are old enough to be working full time and sleeping over with a bf who has a child, why can't you get your own place (your own not with bf)? Don't you have a girlfriend you could get a place with?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 08-01-2009, 06:59 PM

Going to wait for a few of your replies until I answer as well..

Irrespective we're talking at least 10 years he has been your step-dad and you sound as if you would respect him as a Dad, if he showed some love but that he may be controlling.

Have you spoken to your Mother about this? Is it possible that she is scared of him and just does what he says and can't see what's happening to the whole family?

CW

yhberia · 08-01-2009, 08:03 PM

I am sorry that you feel that way in your own house. Can it be that something was said/done on either of your behalves that has caused the breakdown? Is he addicted to the net?
Maybe your mother sees in him things that you don't see. I don't think that fear is the cause why you all tip toe around... can it simply be becasue it is easier to tip toe that put up with his anger?
Maybe he feels that he is lacking in some way and projects his anger out on you? In any event, I know it can be very difficult to live in a house like that. Have you told your mother how you really feel about the situation and does your mother talk to him about it at all?

08-01-2009, 03:54 PM	#1
tiffygirl Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 9	cruel step dad :(! my mom has been married to this man since was 7 . as soon as he walk in the door all breaks lose . i feel so un welcome at my own house it isenteven funny my mom is the sweetest thing in the world but around my step dad everyone has to be so secretive .. and god forbid you say something to upset HIM , mean while he does all day is sit on the computer and search useless information all day long .. and i work monday to friday at 7 am every morning and when i sleep at home he has this alarm cklock and it goes off at 5 am and he doesent shut it offf just to make me angry and then have me flip out and then try to make my mom think im troubled, so i sleep at my boyfirneds most of the week but im scared that were going to get annoyed of each other , because its only healthy to have time apart and ineed sleep but he also has a 2 year old son thats up all night , and i just feel like theres a huge cake infront of me piled 10 feet high and someones forcing me to eat it and just deal with it .. and im tired of feeling this way but i have no say in anything and the saddest part about this is that ive never even met my real dad .. ive talked on the phone with him twice , and i just feel like my step dads just tryng to take over and control what iset his . and this could all be aoided if he just wasent so rude all the time . i just feel stuck

08-01-2009, 06:59 PM	#3
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,939 Blog Entries: 7	Going to wait for a few of your replies until I answer as well.. Irrespective we're talking at least 10 years he has been your step-dad and you sound as if you would respect him as a Dad, if he showed some love but that he may be controlling. Have you spoken to your Mother about this? Is it possible that she is scared of him and just does what he says and can't see what's happening to the whole family? CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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08-01-2009, 04:59 PM	#2
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,232 Blog Entries: 5	How old are you? Does your step dad support the household? Did he financially support you as you were growing up? Does your mom have a job outside the home? Are you in college? Why do you have to be secretive? Does your mother feel a need to be secretive too? How late are you staying up? Why does he get up at 5 am? If it happens regularly, why do you flip out? If you have to be at work by 7, getting up at 5 isn't at all unreasonable. Get up with a smile, have some breakfast, work out, get ready for work and no reason to "flip out". Just get to bed a little earlier and that problem is solved. It's unfortunate that you don't have a relationship with your birth father but my guess that if he wanted to, he would have made the effort to see you. Your step dad has been around since you were 7 or younger. It's not unreasonable that he would feel he should have some voice. However, my now ex was always pretty good with my daughter but was not with my son and as my son got older, the problem got worse and they were around each other since my son was 5. So I do understand that sometimes stepparents and kids just never connect. If you are old enough to be working full time and sleeping over with a bf who has a child, why can't you get your own place (your own not with bf)? Don't you have a girlfriend you could get a place with?

08-01-2009, 08:03 PM	#4
yhberia Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1	I am sorry that you feel that way in your own house. Can it be that something was said/done on either of your behalves that has caused the breakdown? Is he addicted to the net? Maybe your mother sees in him things that you don't see. I don't think that fear is the cause why you all tip toe around... can it simply be becasue it is easier to tip toe that put up with his anger? Maybe he feels that he is lacking in some way and projects his anger out on you? In any event, I know it can be very difficult to live in a house like that. Have you told your mother how you really feel about the situation and does your mother talk to him about it at all?