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#1 |
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VIP Member
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Okay so my older brother who is 6 years older than i am has a wife she is almost the same age as me only 4 years older they have kids and have been great very wonderful but she has been changing and now is acting very childish what am i to do ? she was jeouls of my b/f and i from the very begining as he is different in a lot of ways than my brother , she would be very rude to me wen we would go on dates to hockey games or nascar races.ect anything that took time and money both of wich my brother never had ( they dont like sports anyway ) but seems that nomatter what we did she was always jelous then last year his car broke and he bought a new car ( the first time he has bought a brand new car in a long time he is not made of money like she thinks) we do a lot of traveling thanks to him being in the airforce, but she was always jelous and started being meaner to me but still wanted me to babysit for her for free wen ever there was a need and 95% of the time i was there and happy to help. but wen 3 years ago i mentioned about moving to a nother state she freaked out and yelled at me for 10 minutes about if i leave then i will not be able to be in my nephews lifes and how could i desert my family..ect she would not see the simple fact that if i stay were i was i was so depressed and my life was going nowere she could not be happy for me to have a life and she stoped talking to me for a week ! she saying all that at the same time knowing full well she and my brother planned on moving to Texas ! , if i was to stay or not what good would have done if she was all the way in texas? so was i to stay just for her and be miserable my life? anyway now she has one year of college left before they can move there they just got back from a trip there were he family lives and have picked a house and everything but , BUT, her father who is sick ( cant remember things ) but is not "sick were he needs a babysitter she uses him as a big exscuse however she also can have what ever she wants while there as he is overly rich and she uses that and tries to push it in my face at all times , grandpa just bought chris ( her oldest boy who is now 5 , a full set of clothes for school for every day of the month ) and she is mad that i dont care how she wastes' his money he is her dad and he can spoil her all he wants , im not like that i dont want all the $ in the world i am humble and i never ask for more than what i need and sometimes i go withought and dont even care or complaine its not how i am , she thought that i was being spoild cuz my "now' fiance can do things with me on dates she should stop being so jelous and grow up 'imho , but now here is the real question as i tend to blab on and on
for a nother week up to a month i will be visiting my parents in there state so i will have to see her as they are making my mom babysit the kids even though she is going to be so tired and nervous and unhappy she will do it, i will be nice to her but what if she is rude to me ? most of the time i will just burst into tears if ppl are like that as i am overly sensative
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#2 |
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Gold Contributor 500+ Posts
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You need to set your own boundries. She sounds controlling and unhappy. I'm sure you are happy to see your nephews and spend time with them but you decide how much.
There is a book I think you might find very interesting, The Highly Sensitive Person. It may help you develop some insight into coping.
__________________
We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer |
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#3 |
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VIP Member
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wow thanks i will sure look into that book i am actually going to the library tomorrow i'l see if i can find it or get it through inter-loan, she is very controlling and she does not see it that way but others do and some dont like her for that very reason.
my fiance and i was staying at there house for our 3rd date ( almost 4 years ago lol ) and we told everyone our plans were we would go what times ..ect we told them over and over but yet she was mad at us for not telling her ? they went to church at 7 pm we had gone to dinner then drove 3 hours away for a concert and stayed there till almost 12 and drove back got in with her spare key she had given us the night before and we went to sleep but wen we woke the next morning she was mad she was like : okay we need to talk about this we are all adults here , she went on for 10 minutes about how nobody new were we were and she was worried sick about us and how could we just dissapear withought letting anyone know ..ect ?? i was in shock i could not even speak then swallowing tears as i try to just explaine how everyone had been told at least 5 ppl in 7 different times new ..ect my b/f new i was upset he said to me she is just concerned..ect i said its not my fault she doesnt listen when i speak besides she did not call his cell phone did not call my mom to get his number or ask if she new anything as she did did not ask her younger sister who also new our plans sometimes i think she forgets things and then is to ashamed to admit her wrong.... anyway i still lover just hope she will see how she is affects others we are all christians ( not my parents ) but that is the way it is forgive forget and move on love and be loved..ect |
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