suicide of a teenager

miprincess · 09-13-2009, 10:09 PM

I'm not sure I'm under the right heading, but I was wondering if anyone could help me. Tonight one of my best friends lost their 18 year old son to suicide. They are obviously hysterical about it, but I don't know what to say or do. I have know them all for 16 years, I watched him grow up. I feel like I should do more ( I went to be with them, told them I was there for anything they needed). I have never dealt with anything like this before. And hope never to again. I am very worried that one of them or one of their other children might try the same thing. Is there anything else that I can do to comfort them?

**WildChild** · 09-14-2009, 12:45 AM

Just be there, be caring. This is more than just the grief of a death, such as losing a loved one to a car accident. There will likely be deep feelings of guilt and inadequacy.

Encourage them to get counseling, the local hospital or police shoud be able to supply some contact info on this. Watch out for conversation that indicates anyone telling them their son will be eternally dammed and such - it's amazing what some people will say. If friends can help act as gate keepers that can help. Really, my mom died of cancer and my boss told me it was because she was a sinner who deserved to suffer, as did the entire family. If they'll say because someone follows NA traditions, I can only imagine what they may say with suicide.

Don't lose touch. There are lots of people around until the funeral is over and then everyone goes home and they are left alone with a house full of memories.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-14-2009, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Don't lose touch. There are lots of people around until the funeral is over and then everyone goes home and they are left alone with a house full of memories.

Very important.... even when you feel you've been pushed away, push back in there but be an ear only... Just be there to listen...

CW

miprincess · 09-16-2009, 07:20 AM

thanks guys. I appreciate the advice. Today is going to be one of the hardest, it's the funeral. But they are doing a little better for now, I will continue to be there for them. And they know that. The dad told me yesterday he knew I would be there. That made me feel better (wasn't looking for a pat on the back or anything, but I know he will talk to me when he needs to) . And I see what you mean about everyone leaving soon after, they are already starting to. But again thank you.

09-13-2009, 10:09 PM	#1
miprincess Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: near Detroit, MI Posts: 7	suicide of a teenager I'm not sure I'm under the right heading, but I was wondering if anyone could help me. Tonight one of my best friends lost their 18 year old son to suicide. They are obviously hysterical about it, but I don't know what to say or do. I have know them all for 16 years, I watched him grow up. I feel like I should do more ( I went to be with them, told them I was there for anything they needed). I have never dealt with anything like this before. And hope never to again. I am very worried that one of them or one of their other children might try the same thing. Is there anything else that I can do to comfort them?

09-14-2009, 12:45 AM	#2
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,223 Blog Entries: 5	Just be there, be caring. This is more than just the grief of a death, such as losing a loved one to a car accident. There will likely be deep feelings of guilt and inadequacy. Encourage them to get counseling, the local hospital or police shoud be able to supply some contact info on this. Watch out for conversation that indicates anyone telling them their son will be eternally dammed and such - it's amazing what some people will say. If friends can help act as gate keepers that can help. Really, my mom died of cancer and my boss told me it was because she was a sinner who deserved to suffer, as did the entire family. If they'll say because someone follows NA traditions, I can only imagine what they may say with suicide. Don't lose touch. There are lots of people around until the funeral is over and then everyone goes home and they are left alone with a house full of memories. __________________ We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer

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09-16-2009, 07:20 AM	#4
miprincess Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: near Detroit, MI Posts: 7	thanks guys. I appreciate the advice. Today is going to be one of the hardest, it's the funeral. But they are doing a little better for now, I will continue to be there for them. And they know that. The dad told me yesterday he knew I would be there. That made me feel better (wasn't looking for a pat on the back or anything, but I know he will talk to me when he needs to) . And I see what you mean about everyone leaving soon after, they are already starting to. But again thank you.