Sitting here in shock about my sister

largestar · 09-15-2009, 07:42 PM

After all these years I have found out my sister goes behind my back and tells my Mom things about me. If my sister and I have a disagreement or a discussion about something that is between her and me she will go to my Mom and tell her all about it and then makes up lies to make it more convincing that I am a creep and she is the good daughter. She tells her I have mental issues and I need drugs like her. She acts like she is trust worthy and says she would never tell or get any other family members in evolved with our disagreements about issues . She also pulls out the religious card to make it more appealing to my Mom. . She has two personalties at times, I can't trust her at all. I really don't want to have any more contact with her, but I feel she will unleash more. Their is much more but, this is the short version.
How do I deal with this betrayal of trust ?

**LanaBear** · 09-15-2009, 07:55 PM

Don't have anymore private conversations with her... Have you talked to you mom about it? Not to put your mom in the middle but more of what you actually talk about and what she in turn tells your mom. It's tough but I just wouldn't deal with her anymore.

I'm jaded though... I haven't talked to my sister in over 3 years, she's a POS.

largestar · 09-15-2009, 08:22 PM

This all come to my attention and both are unaware that I know . My Mom is 85 and is in poor health and she attacked me as well. We have always had faviortiusm in our family and she is more fond of her them me.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-15-2009, 08:31 PM

Quote:

She tells her I have mental issues and I need drugs like her

I gather then that you don't have mental issues.

Your Mother is aware of your sister's mental issues and hense why she perhaps "looks after her more"...

If your sister has mental issues, two personalities, envies that you don't have those issues, off course she is always going to be an attention seeker to your Mother and anyone else that will listen.

You just have to go with that understanding, be her sister but tell her nothing.

Your Mother is too old to cope with this at her age, so best to just go down that path and unfortunately, forget what she is doing, she has issues and problems to deal with that she can not deal with.. She's on medication and it's obviously not bringing her back to where you are at.

CW

largestar · 09-15-2009, 08:47 PM

Hello,
I believe it is Anti depressants. It is hard for me to be around her. And I am not sure if depression would justify what she is doing or not.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-15-2009, 09:03 PM

Absolutely...

Think back as a child.

Look at your life now, verses hers.

Which one of you are better off?

Depression, usually is all negative right? Everything is negative, your bad, your horrible, negative.

If you have a healthy life, active, no problems, no depression, a good man, etc, etc and she has nothing?

Imagine where she is at in her life right now!

CW

largestar · 09-15-2009, 09:12 PM

Ok, i understand what you are saying and yes I am much better off then her. But, I would have to really think on the part about "Being a Sister to her" there would be so much conflict, I dont think that would be good for me right now.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 09-15-2009, 09:39 PM

I don't know how old you are.. or her nor the "secrets" you decided to tell her but I can imagine your feelings and I can almost guess that something she said to your Mother wasn't what you wanted her to hear.

You will be angry for a while. It's normal as well as hurt.

You obviously can not tell her things, so don't.

But, she is your sister, she has issues and don't totally wipe her out of your life...

In the near future, you are going to need to lean on her, as she will you...

Take care.

CW

**happy ending** · 09-15-2009, 10:10 PM

i had the same situation with my sister a few years back. i found it incredibly hurtful. i ended up sending my sister a letter explaining my feelings, and how immature i found her actions. she didnt speak to me for a long time, we still dont talk as often, because i cant trust her. i hope you work it all out.

**ThexMrs** · 09-16-2009, 02:32 AM

Quote:

I'm jaded though... I haven't talked to my sister in over 3 years, she's a POS.

Wow, I'd never have expected that from you. I'm interested.

I agree with everything Lana said though I understand your mother's age and health is a big concern. It's hurtful, it's hard to deal with but you either A) Have to suck it up or B) Cut her out of your life. If it's causing you more bad then good, let it go.

09-15-2009, 07:42 PM	#1
largestar Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7	Sitting here in shock about my sister After all these years I have found out my sister goes behind my back and tells my Mom things about me. If my sister and I have a disagreement or a discussion about something that is between her and me she will go to my Mom and tell her all about it and then makes up lies to make it more convincing that I am a creep and she is the good daughter. She tells her I have mental issues and I need drugs like her. She acts like she is trust worthy and says she would never tell or get any other family members in evolved with our disagreements about issues . She also pulls out the religious card to make it more appealing to my Mom. . She has two personalties at times, I can't trust her at all. I really don't want to have any more contact with her, but I feel she will unleash more. Their is much more but, this is the short version. How do I deal with this betrayal of trust ?

09-15-2009, 07:55 PM	#2
LanaBear Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Moon Lander Champion! Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: A cozy little cottage on the moon. :-) Posts: 1,694 Blog Entries: 5	Don't have anymore private conversations with her... Have you talked to you mom about it? Not to put your mom in the middle but more of what you actually talk about and what she in turn tells your mom. It's tough but I just wouldn't deal with her anymore. I'm jaded though... I haven't talked to my sister in over 3 years, she's a POS. __________________ Sometimes life isn't the party we hoped for, but since we're here, we might as well DANCE!

09-15-2009, 09:03 PM	#6
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,968 Blog Entries: 7	Absolutely... Think back as a child. Look at your life now, verses hers. Which one of you are better off? Depression, usually is all negative right? Everything is negative, your bad, your horrible, negative. If you have a healthy life, active, no problems, no depression, a good man, etc, etc and she has nothing? Imagine where she is at in her life right now! CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

09-15-2009, 09:39 PM	#8
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,968 Blog Entries: 7	I don't know how old you are.. or her nor the "secrets" you decided to tell her but I can imagine your feelings and I can almost guess that something she said to your Mother wasn't what you wanted her to hear. You will be angry for a while. It's normal as well as hurt. You obviously can not tell her things, so don't. But, she is your sister, she has issues and don't totally wipe her out of your life... In the near future, you are going to need to lean on her, as she will you... Take care. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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09-15-2009, 08:22 PM	#3
largestar Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7	This all come to my attention and both are unaware that I know . My Mom is 85 and is in poor health and she attacked me as well. We have always had faviortiusm in our family and she is more fond of her them me.

09-15-2009, 08:47 PM	#5
largestar Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7	Hello, I believe it is Anti depressants. It is hard for me to be around her. And I am not sure if depression would justify what she is doing or not.

09-15-2009, 09:12 PM	#7
largestar Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 7	Ok, i understand what you are saying and yes I am much better off then her. But, I would have to really think on the part about "Being a Sister to her" there would be so much conflict, I dont think that would be good for me right now.

09-15-2009, 10:10 PM	#9
happy ending Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: western australia Posts: 655	i had the same situation with my sister a few years back. i found it incredibly hurtful. i ended up sending my sister a letter explaining my feelings, and how immature i found her actions. she didnt speak to me for a long time, we still dont talk as often, because i cant trust her. i hope you work it all out.

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