Lock the door and change the alarm code.I need some advice. My husband and I have been married for 25 years. We have 2 sons, 24 and 21. We have a nephew, his brother's son, John, who is 25. When our sons were younger, our nephew were the only children in the family. As they grew older, they remained close. We moved to a larger house about 10 years ago. Since our home is closer to our nephew's house, he is here all the time. We needed him one day to come to the house when no one was home to turn off alarm and wait for a repairman for us. Since then, comes over whenever he wants and turns off the alarm He only works a few hours a day and comes straight to our house.
Since I have been unemployed in December, I go out with my younger son on his days off from college. When we return home, we find John in our house, watching TV and on our laptops, making himself at home. He even helps himself to whatever he wants in the fridge/cabinets. He doesn't think anything of it either. John still lives at home with his parents just like our sons. His parents do not spend any time with him. It drives me nuts!!!My husband and I are very close with our sons and are always together. We go out for dinner every Friday night. Our older son is 24 and has a girlfriend now. He goes out with her on most Friday nights that she is not working, If not, he comes out with my husband, myself and his brother. John just happens to come over EVERY Friday night by the time my husband gets home, knowing that we go out. One night he was running late and actually called my husband to see if we left to go out and eat yet!!! I guess he doesn't care that I have been out of work for almost a year and my husband is the only
My husband and John's father own two family businesses. They close both stores for one week in the summer for vacation. My husband, myself and our sons always enjoy our family vacation together. Up until 6 years ago, we always had one room and shared with our sons. Now that they are older, we all needed our privacy and started getting two rooms for the week. My nephew wanted to stay with us even though his parents are on the same vacation in another hotel down the street. He stays with us the whole week. That includes my husband paying for his breakfast, lunch and dinner all week. About 5 years ago, when we were on vacation, we decided to look for a larger place to stay. We found a townhouse with 3 big bedrooms that cost $2200 for the week. Of course, John stays with us again for the week, same thing. His parents do not even give us money toward the townhouse where their own stays with us. They do not spend anytime with their own son. He is with us the whole time.
When I say anything to my husband, he always says, he is family. I know he is, but he is taking advantage of his uncle and aunt. To make things worse, I have been unemployed since December and my husband is the only one working. John's father never takes him out on a Friday night. I feel like we cannot have a nice family dinner and talk with John around. Why should we have to pay for him every week for dinner? He just orders what he wants and doesn't think twice about it. His father never takes my sons out for dinner, even on vacation, where his son is freeloading off of us all week!
It is now football season and John is here all weekend. His father will call him here all day Sunday, looking for scores and times of the games. His father is across the street at his neighbor's all day and is calling his son on our phone all day!! It makes me mad that he does not want to spend a Sunday with his own son watching football. It is such a strange relationship. I don't know if I am just being selfish or what. Why should we have to entertain John when he has two parents who should be spending time with him. We always make the time to spend time with our sons. I really need some advice on how to handle this situation. He is my husband's nephew and I have no place to say anything. My husband thinks nothing of this and says he is family. I do not think this is how a 25 year old should be. He should either be spending time with his own family, get a girlfriend or hang out with his friends more often. I do not think we should be the ones responsible for his entertainment, food and vacations! Please help!! What do I do???
Has anyone tried saying "we have to talk about family issues, you need to go home" when he's just there?
If you change the alarm code and keep the door locked and he knocks, don't answer? oof....