My sister is going to tell my boys a secret - Page 3

**Goodgirl93** · 11-01-2009, 02:20 PM

Wow,I'm so sorry your sister has the urge of revenge. But I'm super happy to hear that this whole drama problem has passed and your much happier. Just remember love that any advice given hear is not to judge you or make you feel worse.when I first joined I realized that getting tough love was what I needed to realize things.I hope all goes well and oh yea....welcome to the forums.

jen1960 · 11-01-2009, 02:27 PM

Thank you goodgirl, thanks for the warm welcome.

If you all met me, you would never guess I have been through so much. Life's a roller coaster, I'm climbing back up now...

Jen

**Goodgirl93** · 11-01-2009, 02:37 PM

Your oh so welcome.

I'm glad to hear your climbing back up...Many people would kill to have the strength you do.I have never expierienced the childhood you had,but be thankful you have such a caring husband and children. Keep us updated on you and your sisters' situation.

femaleinfluence · 11-01-2009, 03:29 PM

I am new here and just happened upon this thread. I agree with the suggestions that you need to tell your children of your past. Children are amazing they understand and are capable of unconditional love. I have a beautiful 13 yr old son who thinks the sun rises and sets with me. Here's the kicker I don't deserve that kind of devotion as I am an addict in recovery and when I was active I abandoned him in the middle of the night to go to Florida. I always had and excuse for why I had to miss a visit. I never showed up. Now I am in recovery and trying to do right by him; it is the most humbling experience to have that kind of undeserved love. What I am saying is your children love you and will respect you more for telling them about this painful secret and once it's out no-one can hold it over your head. Good luck doing the right thing although simple is hardly ever easy.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-02-2009, 02:40 PM

Femaleinfluence, It's great to speak out about past, thank you for joining and replying to this thread..

We at the Forum wish you every success with where you now want to head in your life. Your right, the love of a child never wavers....

Best wishes.

CW

jen1960 · 11-02-2009, 06:00 PM

I phoned a couple of therapist, and found one in Seattle who could see me at 2pm today. I just got home, so tons of stuff is brewing in my head. This lady was awesome! She made me feel that I had nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, she was proud that I made that choice over thirty years ago. That I have over come many obstacles in my life, not many people turn out the way I have.

This is a few things she had to say, My advise to you, don't speak with your spineless sister, don't contact her. This is a private matter between you and your husband, and boys. She needs to butt out! Not to tell my children at this stage of life, but if YOU want to tell them, YOU do it when YOU are ready.

What she did say, is that my little sister has bigger issues than I, and this is her way of trying to make herself look like the better parent, in reality, she's not. This is the one thing she can always use against you, so, don't speak with her to stir the pot!

Loved this lady...see her again next month. Gosh, I feel so much better!

11-01-2009, 03:29 PM	#24
femaleinfluence Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 1	I am new here and just happened upon this thread. I agree with the suggestions that you need to tell your children of your past. Children are amazing they understand and are capable of unconditional love. I have a beautiful 13 yr old son who thinks the sun rises and sets with me. Here's the kicker I don't deserve that kind of devotion as I am an addict in recovery and when I was active I abandoned him in the middle of the night to go to Florida. I always had and excuse for why I had to miss a visit. I never showed up. Now I am in recovery and trying to do right by him; it is the most humbling experience to have that kind of undeserved love. What I am saying is your children love you and will respect you more for telling them about this painful secret and once it's out no-one can hold it over your head. Good luck doing the right thing although simple is hardly ever easy. __________________ FemaleInfluence I want to know what I don't know and learn all there is to learn.

11-02-2009, 02:40 PM	#25
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,969 Blog Entries: 7	Femaleinfluence, It's great to speak out about past, thank you for joining and replying to this thread.. We at the Forum wish you every success with where you now want to head in your life. Your right, the love of a child never wavers.... Best wishes. CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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11-01-2009, 02:20 PM	#21
Goodgirl93 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 900	Wow,I'm so sorry your sister has the urge of revenge. But I'm super happy to hear that this whole drama problem has passed and your much happier. Just remember love that any advice given hear is not to judge you or make you feel worse.when I first joined I realized that getting tough love was what I needed to realize things.I hope all goes well and oh yea....welcome to the forums.

11-01-2009, 02:27 PM	#22
jen1960 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: West Coast Posts: 11	Thank you goodgirl, thanks for the warm welcome. If you all met me, you would never guess I have been through so much. Life's a roller coaster, I'm climbing back up now... Jen

11-01-2009, 02:37 PM	#23
Goodgirl93 Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 900	Your oh so welcome. I'm glad to hear your climbing back up...Many people would kill to have the strength you do.I have never expierienced the childhood you had,but be thankful you have such a caring husband and children. Keep us updated on you and your sisters' situation.

11-02-2009, 06:00 PM	#26
jen1960 Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: West Coast Posts: 11	I phoned a couple of therapist, and found one in Seattle who could see me at 2pm today. I just got home, so tons of stuff is brewing in my head. This lady was awesome! She made me feel that I had nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, she was proud that I made that choice over thirty years ago. That I have over come many obstacles in my life, not many people turn out the way I have. This is a few things she had to say, My advise to you, don't speak with your spineless sister, don't contact her. This is a private matter between you and your husband, and boys. She needs to butt out! Not to tell my children at this stage of life, but if YOU want to tell them, YOU do it when YOU are ready. What she did say, is that my little sister has bigger issues than I, and this is her way of trying to make herself look like the better parent, in reality, she's not. This is the one thing she can always use against you, so, don't speak with her to stir the pot! Loved this lady...see her again next month. Gosh, I feel so much better!