family

unhapy38 · 11-04-2009, 06:48 AM

hi wonder could anyone help im in an awful situation..my teenage daughter got into a huge fight with her stepdad[ my husband] an things went from bad to worse my parents removed my daughter from the home and my brothers and sisters sent me horrible text messages saying wat a terrible mother i am now theyve disowed me and my 6 yr old son.my husband has reared my daughter since she was 3 yrs old and has legally adopted her im torn between my husband son and my daughter and family

**KMonte85** · 11-04-2009, 07:38 AM

Can you give more details? Fights between teenagers and parents happen all the time, nothing new, but sometime they can get out of hand. What were the circumstances of the fight? What was the issue? What was said?

**happy ending** · 11-04-2009, 07:45 AM

yes, someone i knew was in a similar situation, and everyone sided with her, until the true story came out, the fifteen year old girl was treated worse than a dog by the stepfather and the mother sided with him. i feel so sorry for the girl, who has now lost her mother. i hope your situation is not the same.

unhapy38 · 11-04-2009, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KMonte85

Can you give more details? Fights between teenagers and parents happen all the time, nothing new, but sometime they can get out of hand. What were the circumstances of the fight? What was the issue? What was said?

the fithing has been going on past 2 yrs with my daughter not doing anything round the house constantly moody forever fighting with friends not speaking to her younger brother always shouting at him and just grunting at us,she had been spending all her free time in my parents house than wen she would come back again the tensions would start again she has been wanting to go live with my parents for the past 2 yrs as she doesent like the place we live in or the people anyway the row got out of hand cause she was looking for money again and my husband put his foot down this time and said she would have to earn it this time as she never helps out he had been asking her to feed and take her dog for a walk for 2 days but just kept grunting and turning her eyes up to heaven and slammimg doors saying she hated us and everyone,,we have been having terrible fights with her recently and unfortunatly things got out of hand that day and my husband grabbed her by the throat and another argument ensued i brought her to stay with my brother and girlfriend till things called down but my brothers girlfriend took pictures of my daughters bruised neck and sent them to all my family and she went to stay with my parents since and that was 5 mths ago i feel like im cracking up somedays she talks to me but wont speak or let my husband apoligise since it happened and she has never been home since she started a new sch were my parents live

unhapy38 · 11-04-2009, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy ending

yes, someone i knew was in a similar situation, and everyone sided with her, until the true story came out, the fifteen year old girl was treated worse than a dog by the stepfather and the mother sided with him. i feel so sorry for the girl, who has now lost her mother. i hope your situation is not the same.

my daughter was never treated like a dog if anything she had a great life with my husband since she was 3 yrs old he gave her everything she never went without anything i have not lost my daughter she is still speaking to me but its not the same i feel so hurt over what my family did to me wouldnt mind wen i was a single mother with my daughter my family never gave her anyting apart from xmas and birthday it was always my husbands family who gave her the most and welcomed her into there lives as a new niece..

**WildChild** · 11-04-2009, 10:45 AM

Grabbing someone by the throat and leaving bruises is abuse. Most mothers would have called the police and filed charges. Getting some counseling would be a good idea. Why would you allow your child to be treated that way?

unhapy38 · 11-04-2009, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WildChild

Grabbing someone by the throat and leaving bruises is abuse. Most mothers would have called the police and filed charges. Getting some counseling would be a good idea. Why would you allow your child to be treated that way?

i didnt allow my child to be treated like that how do u think i am feeling bout it all and wat about my 6 yr old son teenagers can bring out a lot in people obviously u dont have one and u dont no wat its like to have one in your house and who said anyting about bruises

**KMonte85** · 11-04-2009, 11:39 AM

it sounds like you have already taken a side and decided who is at fault, which is pretty sad. Lines drawn in the sand do nothing to mend these issues. It also leads me to believe that there is more going on than what you have posted here.

I'm finding it hard to believe this is a completely one-sided temper tantrum by your daughter, with no catalyst. Every action has a reaction and I think this is her reacting to something.

Perhaps your parents have an answer for you since she seemed to find their home a safe haven and probably opened up to them about what is causing her to act out?

It doesn't matter how aggrivating a teenager can be. No one should put their hands on another person. Your husband choked your daughter out of anger and frustration, and even if you both believe it was well-deserved, it is not the correct way to handle the situation, and it is also ILLEGAL.

I agree with WC.. counciling, both individual counciling for you, your husband, and your children as well as group counciling somwhere down the line when you are all ready, would benefit your family greatly!

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-04-2009, 03:58 PM

Your mind is with your husband, the love.

Yet, no man should ever touch a woman.. She had brusing on her neck, can you imagine the fear at that time, thinking he was going to choke her? Did you run to her aid, hold her, tell her it's allright?

Your family are up-set because she spends alot of time with her. Your husband should understand that teenagers are rebelious full stop, it's normal. Your family are angry because, and I am sorry, you sided with him, you weren't there for her, your not seeing that it's wrong for a man to touch a woman and that his temper was not the norm, not a smack on the bottom, sent to the room, it was pure ANGER, abuse, physcially.

Can you not understand that she would fear now? And, no way would she ever want to live in that house?

She is your daughter, your blood. He is your husband, a man, who hurt your daughter, full stop.

I think your family have a right to be concerned and to be angry with you, because you aren't/weren't there for your daughter, you chose your husband over her in this situation.

Sorry, I know we sound harsh but your not seeing, the fear she saw, the feelings she felt, the pain and tears that a man who raised her tried to throttle her.. Your seeing, just a bit of anger and nothing mean't by it. No, that's wrong. It was so hard that she had bruises....

CW

**WildChild** · 11-04-2009, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unhapy38

we have been having terrible fights with her recently and unfortunatly things got out of hand that day and my husband grabbed her by the throat and another argument ensued i brought her to stay with my brother and girlfriend till things called down but my brothers girlfriend took pictures of my daughters bruised neck and sent them to all my family

YOU said there were bruises. I have two teens.

11-04-2009, 06:48 AM	#1
unhapy38 Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 5	family hi wonder could anyone help im in an awful situation..my teenage daughter got into a huge fight with her stepdad[ my husband] an things went from bad to worse my parents removed my daughter from the home and my brothers and sisters sent me horrible text messages saying wat a terrible mother i am now theyve disowed me and my 6 yr old son.my husband has reared my daughter since she was 3 yrs old and has legally adopted her im torn between my husband son and my daughter and family Last edited by unhapy38; 11-04-2009 at 06:50 AM.

11-04-2009, 07:38 AM	#2
KMonte85 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Southeastern WI Posts: 148	Can you give more details? Fights between teenagers and parents happen all the time, nothing new, but sometime they can get out of hand. What were the circumstances of the fight? What was the issue? What was said? __________________ When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

11-04-2009, 10:45 AM	#6
WildChild Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 6,223 Blog Entries: 5	Grabbing someone by the throat and leaving bruises is abuse. Most mothers would have called the police and filed charges. Getting some counseling would be a good idea. Why would you allow your child to be treated that way? __________________ We can only learn to love by loving. Iris Mudoch, British writer

11-04-2009, 11:39 AM	#8
KMonte85 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Southeastern WI Posts: 148	it sounds like you have already taken a side and decided who is at fault, which is pretty sad. Lines drawn in the sand do nothing to mend these issues. It also leads me to believe that there is more going on than what you have posted here. I'm finding it hard to believe this is a completely one-sided temper tantrum by your daughter, with no catalyst. Every action has a reaction and I think this is her reacting to something. Perhaps your parents have an answer for you since she seemed to find their home a safe haven and probably opened up to them about what is causing her to act out? It doesn't matter how aggrivating a teenager can be. No one should put their hands on another person. Your husband choked your daughter out of anger and frustration, and even if you both believe it was well-deserved, it is not the correct way to handle the situation, and it is also ILLEGAL. I agree with WC.. counciling, both individual counciling for you, your husband, and your children as well as group counciling somwhere down the line when you are all ready, would benefit your family greatly! __________________ When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

11-04-2009, 03:58 PM	#9
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,907 Blog Entries: 7	Your mind is with your husband, the love. Yet, no man should ever touch a woman.. She had brusing on her neck, can you imagine the fear at that time, thinking he was going to choke her? Did you run to her aid, hold her, tell her it's allright? Your family are up-set because she spends alot of time with her. Your husband should understand that teenagers are rebelious full stop, it's normal. Your family are angry because, and I am sorry, you sided with him, you weren't there for her, your not seeing that it's wrong for a man to touch a woman and that his temper was not the norm, not a smack on the bottom, sent to the room, it was pure ANGER, abuse, physcially. Can you not understand that she would fear now? And, no way would she ever want to live in that house? She is your daughter, your blood. He is your husband, a man, who hurt your daughter, full stop. I think your family have a right to be concerned and to be angry with you, because you aren't/weren't there for your daughter, you chose your husband over her in this situation. Sorry, I know we sound harsh but your not seeing, the fear she saw, the feelings she felt, the pain and tears that a man who raised her tried to throttle her.. Your seeing, just a bit of anger and nothing mean't by it. No, that's wrong. It was so hard that she had bruises.... CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

11-04-2009, 07:45 AM	#3
happy ending Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: western australia Posts: 655	yes, someone i knew was in a similar situation, and everyone sided with her, until the true story came out, the fifteen year old girl was treated worse than a dog by the stepfather and the mother sided with him. i feel so sorry for the girl, who has now lost her mother. i hope your situation is not the same.

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