Thread: Blended Family

I, too, am in a blended family. I have two daughters from a previous marriage (who live with us) and he has one. Together we have yet another girl. It has been nothing but challenging. I will share my story and maybe it will help you relate.

IDK how your husband is about his children, but mine feels overwhelming guilt about "leaving" his daughter and "raising two that aren't his own." This causes quite the strife. I am not "allowed" to mention, provide criticism, and/or discipline her when she is here. If I do, some or all of the following happens. He jumps in and begins to compare the two older girls (they are both six and VERY different), making me feel bad. He does not position himself on my side, will side with his daughter, only reinforcing negative behaviors. Or she (who has found out long ago that causing conflict gets her parents to communicate) will run home and tell her mother about any little thing, provoking her mother to call my husband and verbally attack me.

So, when the subject of my stepdaughter comes up, I basically shut down.

I don't know what else to tell you with the exception of you and your husband must work out a plan and stick to it. You didn't mention the ages of your children, but one can assume that the behavior may worsen as age increases, and they cognitively realize that they can play both sides. I suggest family counseling to help you form this plan and we have looked into this also.

Good luck to you. Nothing has been so challenging to me as this blended family.